Help I feel like I’ve done this to myself

[Isolatedloser]

I'm going to try to get straight to the issue. I want to be better but I'm lonely and empty. I just want to end the pain I've inflicted upon myself. I hurt my parents and family with all my suicidal thoughts and I feel like a burden. Maybe I don't do it now but will I still feel this way in a month? A year? I just feel this desire to stop the drama that is my life. I'm not enjoying the life I'm in. I need to thoroughly consider a suicide method that works for me and then when I'm ready- I do it and my core issue of mental pain is gone. I'm not sure how I will feel tomorrow but life is just pain for me.