it is very hard to commit suicide. many people attempt and fail in their attempts.
when attempting, there is a tremendous survival instinct that kicks in and it's very hard for even the most suicidal people to overcome that
if you are worried about how you will look to others after dying, if that's what you're nervous about, i think it's unlikely you would be able to overcome the survival instinct to complete an attempt.
so, since you're probably not going to complete an attempt, you may as well get help. get a therapist, see someone, try to get help. you're not at that point where suicide is the right option for you if you are considering stuff like this. go get help. if you are some sort of horrible war torn situation or dire situation, either health or financial, then i am sorry. the truth is everyone looks horrendous after they die, there's no pretty in death.
So I read that when you die you can poop and pee yourself. I thought maybe I can take some laxatives before or something so I don't have anything inside.
What do you think?
Sorry for my bad english btw