Dead_Inside
Wizard
- Jul 2, 2018
- 622
So it's been 6 months and I have been "good" .... I had a slip in September and I tried to hang myself... but I was drunk and sad and obviously it didn't work - I don't count it as a real attempt. And no one knows about it.
I am now "allowed" to try to see a psychologist/therapist person since I didn't plan and go through with a serious suicide attempt. Now what should I do? What do I even say to this person? I can't be honest right? IDK - I have never done this before.
Did things change in my head ? Yes. It's been 6 months- you can't leave a person like that. I woke up twice - no fucking psychologist is going to understand that but I think people here will.
At first I was just lethargic, devistated, ruined and very sick from the OD. But I tried to be good. Maybe it's all in my fucking head like people said....
But it's been 6 months .....
Nothing good happened to me.
WTF .... why fucking save me for this? No one really cares. Probably someone here might like me more and care. Maybe.
But really- I saved up three months of those fucking pills- I lied to two docs to get what I needed.... I spent two months making self aneamic ....and I took every pill .... I did it. And I didn't hesitate or feel worried. But why? Why did I wake up.... please just let me go. Please. I am so sorry for whatever I have done. God/ karma whatever may be, please.
I am sorry....just let me die. Was it because I tried to take my own life? I am sorry- please just kill me, I don't care how. Please just have pity on me - I am dying here, please just let me be free again. Please.
Sorry- it's just been too much.
I am now "allowed" to try to see a psychologist/therapist person since I didn't plan and go through with a serious suicide attempt. Now what should I do? What do I even say to this person? I can't be honest right? IDK - I have never done this before.
Did things change in my head ? Yes. It's been 6 months- you can't leave a person like that. I woke up twice - no fucking psychologist is going to understand that but I think people here will.
At first I was just lethargic, devistated, ruined and very sick from the OD. But I tried to be good. Maybe it's all in my fucking head like people said....
But it's been 6 months .....
Nothing good happened to me.
WTF .... why fucking save me for this? No one really cares. Probably someone here might like me more and care. Maybe.
But really- I saved up three months of those fucking pills- I lied to two docs to get what I needed.... I spent two months making self aneamic ....and I took every pill .... I did it. And I didn't hesitate or feel worried. But why? Why did I wake up.... please just let me go. Please. I am so sorry for whatever I have done. God/ karma whatever may be, please.
I am sorry....just let me die. Was it because I tried to take my own life? I am sorry- please just kill me, I don't care how. Please just have pity on me - I am dying here, please just let me be free again. Please.
Sorry- it's just been too much.
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