katara
tiktok.com/@katara3250
- Mar 17, 2022
- 493
I recently saw a video from a political YouTuber about how he was scared to go to an event where they are debating ai because he was scared someone would try to shoot him like that guy did to Charlie Kirk.
I just don't really care anymore. I don't have anybody who cares about me or my situation. I never got to go to any parties or events. I don't get to celebrate Halloween or go out ever. I was never taught any skills, never learned to drive, never got to go to prom. Instead my mom wanted to move me to an isolated part of the country, in a boomer area where all I hear when I sit outside is traffic. I don't really understand why I'm supposed to care about other people when they make fun of my situation or ignore me. I remember in high school some guy mentioned wanting to shoot up the school or made a comment about bringing a gun to school . I wish I would've said to him "do it". Nobody at my ghetto high school cared about each other. The more disgusting you are the more popular you are. Most people were rude and stupid. I'm tired of pretending I'm fine with everything, I actually hate those people and I think mass shootings are stupid but why should I care about them? Nobody cares that there's homeless people everywhere, even homeless kids. Nobody cares that it's impossible to live alone by only having one job. So what do u so if ur in a bad situation and don't have family to lean on? What am I supposed to do? But that's right nobody cares about somebody like me. I wish someone would've shot up my school, because every day was miserable.
Most people in the world are terrible and I experienced this at school and in my life. I didn't have anyone show that they cared. I felt unloved most of my life and I did what my mom told me to do and it ruined my life. I didn't do anything when I turned 16, didn't get a car, didn't do anything at 18. Didn't do anything at 21. Nobody will do anything to help me and I go online and see people crying about being scared of getting shot because everyone knows after you die nothing happens and ur gone forever. Instead of making the world better people only care when they think about their own death. It's just stupid, this whole country is stupid and selfish. I could've been born in a better country where everyone is nice and caring and people don't have to worry about getting sick and not being able to afford going to a doctor.
I hate this damn country and the people who move here. I see online people younger than me able to travel to multiple countries and then some of them say they are depressed? It's complete madness. Living under these terrible circumstances has made me realize we really are all alone in this life. If you aren't born with a support network you'll never make it in life and that's just not fair. I'm surprised under our terrible government there isn't more violence because it's fucking disgusting what our culture allows. I talk to people online who live in better places like recently I was talking to a Dutch guy. It looks so pretty where he lives. All the streets are walkable and his neighbors invite him over to play guitar. I can't even complain to people like him because they instantly always ask "are you in USA" like they just know without me telling them, everyone always knows where I live. How come everyone I talk to has all these amazing resources I don't. Even in India there mental health system is cheaper, how is it worse and more expensive where I live? I talked to this guy who mentioned the mental health he gets, so I looked it up because I never heard of it before, and I just don't get why it's more affordable in a third world country than where I live. Why is it always better everywhere else with every person I talk to it's the same shit. This just doesn't feel real anymore.
But I'm supposed to care about some stupid influencers online who have great lives that are scared of getting shot. I just think that's ridiculous when that's not even in the top 5 worst things about this country. I used to care about making the world better, but living here for so long has made me not care. If I got stabbed like that Ukrainian refugee did, the same thing would happen, everyone would just stand around and do nothing because that's what this country produces. More soulless evil people who just care about themselves. I guess I am slowly turning into everyone else and I just hate it. I'll never be able to afford anything or do anything or travel to amazing places like normal people to. I can't even afford the same mental health services they have in third world countries bc everything is more expensive here. Why would I care about a shooting when I'll never be able afford anything or do anything? If there were more shootings than maybe I could walk down the street without there being cars everywhere. I wish where I live I could just walk around and it was pretty and everything was nice instead of there being traffic and cars everywhere. There's nothing to do. Am I supposed to be worried about being shot? If I survived I'd just sit in a stupid hospital bed and then probably have a 10k bill. I just wouldn't pay it, I shouldn't have to pay for anything. My life is completely wasted and I have to hear about all the places everyone goes to and weddings and parties. I have to worry about the fact I'm going to die alone. I have to worry about the fact I'll have another thanksgiving and Halloween alone. I'll be alone on new years too. I could've been born in a country where they actually take care of their citizens and don't just ignore people who are suffering and them it's great living under capitalism and we should be greatful. I could've had a better life, but nobody in this capitalist shithole cares about me so I don't care about them anymore
I just don't really care anymore. I don't have anybody who cares about me or my situation. I never got to go to any parties or events. I don't get to celebrate Halloween or go out ever. I was never taught any skills, never learned to drive, never got to go to prom. Instead my mom wanted to move me to an isolated part of the country, in a boomer area where all I hear when I sit outside is traffic. I don't really understand why I'm supposed to care about other people when they make fun of my situation or ignore me. I remember in high school some guy mentioned wanting to shoot up the school or made a comment about bringing a gun to school . I wish I would've said to him "do it". Nobody at my ghetto high school cared about each other. The more disgusting you are the more popular you are. Most people were rude and stupid. I'm tired of pretending I'm fine with everything, I actually hate those people and I think mass shootings are stupid but why should I care about them? Nobody cares that there's homeless people everywhere, even homeless kids. Nobody cares that it's impossible to live alone by only having one job. So what do u so if ur in a bad situation and don't have family to lean on? What am I supposed to do? But that's right nobody cares about somebody like me. I wish someone would've shot up my school, because every day was miserable.
Most people in the world are terrible and I experienced this at school and in my life. I didn't have anyone show that they cared. I felt unloved most of my life and I did what my mom told me to do and it ruined my life. I didn't do anything when I turned 16, didn't get a car, didn't do anything at 18. Didn't do anything at 21. Nobody will do anything to help me and I go online and see people crying about being scared of getting shot because everyone knows after you die nothing happens and ur gone forever. Instead of making the world better people only care when they think about their own death. It's just stupid, this whole country is stupid and selfish. I could've been born in a better country where everyone is nice and caring and people don't have to worry about getting sick and not being able to afford going to a doctor.
I hate this damn country and the people who move here. I see online people younger than me able to travel to multiple countries and then some of them say they are depressed? It's complete madness. Living under these terrible circumstances has made me realize we really are all alone in this life. If you aren't born with a support network you'll never make it in life and that's just not fair. I'm surprised under our terrible government there isn't more violence because it's fucking disgusting what our culture allows. I talk to people online who live in better places like recently I was talking to a Dutch guy. It looks so pretty where he lives. All the streets are walkable and his neighbors invite him over to play guitar. I can't even complain to people like him because they instantly always ask "are you in USA" like they just know without me telling them, everyone always knows where I live. How come everyone I talk to has all these amazing resources I don't. Even in India there mental health system is cheaper, how is it worse and more expensive where I live? I talked to this guy who mentioned the mental health he gets, so I looked it up because I never heard of it before, and I just don't get why it's more affordable in a third world country than where I live. Why is it always better everywhere else with every person I talk to it's the same shit. This just doesn't feel real anymore.
But I'm supposed to care about some stupid influencers online who have great lives that are scared of getting shot. I just think that's ridiculous when that's not even in the top 5 worst things about this country. I used to care about making the world better, but living here for so long has made me not care. If I got stabbed like that Ukrainian refugee did, the same thing would happen, everyone would just stand around and do nothing because that's what this country produces. More soulless evil people who just care about themselves. I guess I am slowly turning into everyone else and I just hate it. I'll never be able to afford anything or do anything or travel to amazing places like normal people to. I can't even afford the same mental health services they have in third world countries bc everything is more expensive here. Why would I care about a shooting when I'll never be able afford anything or do anything? If there were more shootings than maybe I could walk down the street without there being cars everywhere. I wish where I live I could just walk around and it was pretty and everything was nice instead of there being traffic and cars everywhere. There's nothing to do. Am I supposed to be worried about being shot? If I survived I'd just sit in a stupid hospital bed and then probably have a 10k bill. I just wouldn't pay it, I shouldn't have to pay for anything. My life is completely wasted and I have to hear about all the places everyone goes to and weddings and parties. I have to worry about the fact I'm going to die alone. I have to worry about the fact I'll have another thanksgiving and Halloween alone. I'll be alone on new years too. I could've been born in a country where they actually take care of their citizens and don't just ignore people who are suffering and them it's great living under capitalism and we should be greatful. I could've had a better life, but nobody in this capitalist shithole cares about me so I don't care about them anymore
