So I have been doing a "web design" internship at my college. It is not as cool as it sounds. In fact it fucking sucks and consists mainly of auditing spreadsheets for incredibly nitpicky and pointless purposes. Minor visual edits are done to the web site when faculty requests it and we send a polite email etc...
I have been doing this 25 hours a week for minimum wage, plus classes and I am insanely sleep deprived. I have to take Adderall to survive. But whatever I'm working toward that nice shiny resume medal and references right? So last week I get this assignment to replace custom code in the site that can be replaced with simpler components. I did this and the site looked fine.
Late at night two days later on a day when I was off I get notices that they are fucking with my work email and a notice from my boss that I am pulled off the project (which is not normal). I get in the next day and all my access to everything is locked and I ask my boss what is going on the next day and she says everything is fine its just a system update (LYING RIGHT TO MY FACE). I have to go three full days working at this place knowing that the hammer is going to come down somehow, including thinking about it the entire weekend.
Monday finally comes and the marketing middle manager fuck who is over us (the type of guy who talks in corporate gibberish like, "lets circle back on that" "lets hop on a call") tells me that I am being written up as a poor performer and he will not recommend me to future employers. Doesn't even show me what I did wrong. Everyone looking at me like I'm a dead man. I graduate in six weeks and this entire past year has been wasted at this place. My grades slipped cause I can't keep up with the workload which meant the loss of thousands in scholarship money also. My mind is going back to drinking and suicide I just don't see the point in trying, because I just get fucked over and over when I try to work and get by. My few friends have all left town and I have no one to vent to. I'm so fucking miserable and things are only going to get worse when I graduate. I wish a fucking car would just run me down and end all of this I am in hell.
I have been doing this 25 hours a week for minimum wage, plus classes and I am insanely sleep deprived. I have to take Adderall to survive. But whatever I'm working toward that nice shiny resume medal and references right? So last week I get this assignment to replace custom code in the site that can be replaced with simpler components. I did this and the site looked fine.
Late at night two days later on a day when I was off I get notices that they are fucking with my work email and a notice from my boss that I am pulled off the project (which is not normal). I get in the next day and all my access to everything is locked and I ask my boss what is going on the next day and she says everything is fine its just a system update (LYING RIGHT TO MY FACE). I have to go three full days working at this place knowing that the hammer is going to come down somehow, including thinking about it the entire weekend.
Monday finally comes and the marketing middle manager fuck who is over us (the type of guy who talks in corporate gibberish like, "lets circle back on that" "lets hop on a call") tells me that I am being written up as a poor performer and he will not recommend me to future employers. Doesn't even show me what I did wrong. Everyone looking at me like I'm a dead man. I graduate in six weeks and this entire past year has been wasted at this place. My grades slipped cause I can't keep up with the workload which meant the loss of thousands in scholarship money also. My mind is going back to drinking and suicide I just don't see the point in trying, because I just get fucked over and over when I try to work and get by. My few friends have all left town and I have no one to vent to. I'm so fucking miserable and things are only going to get worse when I graduate. I wish a fucking car would just run me down and end all of this I am in hell.
