I am so sensitive to criticism, i cant function.

[Lou_Charthethird]

Human beings can be so rough and cruel in some cases , even in a joking manner, and i would take what im told to heart. I feel inhuman at my core. I know i am inhuman. That i am of lesser quality, that i am worthless and shouldn't be treated like an equal. Its the embodiment of this thinking pattern that has led to my numbness. Because the immense pain that follows this process is too much to bear. But i have time when i even feel super hurt by things people say, despite me not being me. I used to think i had AvPD, i actually was so comforted knowing i wasnt alone in my feelings and thoughts. It was a solace. But someone with AvPD wouldnt have done the things ive done. Yes im numb and not me, but from the outside looking in, my existence contradicts itself.
i dont know what the point is to living if its either supreme numbness or earth shattering mental pain.
I dont blame my body for going into this defense mechanism.
but this defense mechanism might leas to the same outcome that the immense depression would lead to as well.

Suicide.

 

[witchcraft]

I can be very sensitive to criticism as well. The self-awareness has helped *somewhat.*

I'm even more sensitive to certain tones of voice, perceived or otherwise. This is more difficult for me, because the other person can just as easily deny it, or may genuinely be unaware of it and did not intend it. Or, perhaps I have honestly hallucinated it; this has happened on occasion, I admit, though it is less common.

I do have another observation but I'm uncertain whether to share it, because I cannot say whether it is true or not, and I would not wish to needlessly and unhelpfully get a (understandable) defense response from that. In short, and in as neutral of a way as I can phrase it, I would... consider to what degree, if any, the idea "I know I am inhuman / I am of lesser quality / I am worthless / I should not be treated as an equal" feeds into this matter as a self-fulfilling sort of prophecy. This is a question I cannot answer because it is particular to the person, and so I pose it more as a question, not anything I seek to debate or assert at all. I should go as far as to say that the answer to this so-called question is not important to me, and I do not need to "hear" it much less make it a point of conversation or debate. I pose it merely for one's private consideration and they can do with it what they will with no judgment from me.

Anyway, most people do not know how to meet someone where they are at, let alone make any effort to adjust their criticism to whom they are speaking. There is a self-righteousness: so long as they believe that they are speaking the truth, doing what's right, that it evidently does not matter how they say something and the onus is conveniently placed entirely on the receiving person.

The painfully obvious irony being that nothing so convenient can possibly be genuinely good and true.

If a person does not feel like you have their best interest in mind, or at least thinks of you as a detached observer who seeks neither help nor harm, then it is rather ridiculous to think that criticism will be taken well and amount to anything useful. If a positive intent is not abundantly clear, then someone who is sensitive to criticism will be prone to shut down and reject it. I think this is particularly true if they have not made an effort to understand the person that they are criticizing.

Criticizing is also such a harsh word. While there is technically, perhaps, no difference between "criticism" and "feedback," I find that the latter lacks the negative connotation. It even sounds less harsh to say aloud—at least to me.

Best,

 

[fkyou]

I feel you