Venting Hypocrites and myself

[surterMAN]

I've felt that I went through life with people who don't even care for me, not even my friends... they just seem to care about me when they needed me and they don't even say hi to me when we even pass by, they rarely talk to me. Even when I get close enough with my friends and I told them all about the shit I went through they just fucking told everybody nearest to them what I'm going through and mock me, they pretend they always care about me saying oh we care about you and then the next day they just fucking ignore you like you're nothing. I genuinely want someone who could care for me and would ask me how my day was (my parents rarely even fucking ask me that) or even the shit I was going through maybe even noticing something different in me when I feel a bit down in my mood, I just want someone who cares for me and loves me nor even judge me for anything that I do. I feel like everyone around me are fucking hypocrites and no one is really genuine about anything, not even my parents they just don't give the time for me they are always busy with work or either just stuck on their fucking phones and laptop watching tiktok and shorts if they weren't working. And when I am talking about things either I'm interested at or something really interesting that just came out of my mind they don't even fucking listen to me like actually I don't even know where their mind and eyes are locked to but totally not to me. I just don't believe people around me here are genuinely loving people, they just care about themselves. I want to be loved as I was loved by my parents as a baby and a child, I don't want to become an adult anymore I want to go back as a child, there are so many responsibilities I have to take care of but even those responsibilities I don't do, I just escape from them that is why I am an asshole too, I am a hypocrite too because I do these things to other people that I feel like are inferior to me too, It's so fucking human to be like this and I don't want to be like this, fuck being a human I want to fucking die. Humans just destroy everything they touch, even when they create something good it doesn't balance out to the bad things humans do, they do not need to live here. For fuck sake I don't wanna be a human.

 

[timf]

People who are more sensitive (like artists) often find the world a hostile environment. The vast majority of people are busy with their lives and see others as a nuisance, obstacle, or irritant. There are some who will notice others in terms of their utility (how they can be used or exploited). The people who are sensitive to others are rare and difficult to find.

If one is sensitive, one has to protect that sensitivity so that it is not invested in the unworthy (someone who will hurt or exploit the sensitivity). This requires both the development of a defensive shield as well as the ability to make accurate assessments of others.

A person who is a hypocrite says one things and acts in a different way. We tend to think that this is done intentionally. However, most people that do this are actually self-deceived. as you try ti make assessments of others the person who is self-deceived can be tricky to figure out because they often say things that sound good, but are unaware that they act differently. This means you have to be able to discern character beneath the words.

If you want to meet people who can respond to you, you will have to sift through an awful lot of people. This can be aided by finding places where the odds will be a little higher. The artistic might look in various art communities such as painting, sculpting, music, or writing. The spiritually sensitive might look in churches. The socially aware might look in political action groups. However, one has to be care that most groups have mostly people that are the same as the world at large.

Protecting yourself while you search for someone else can be a lengthy process. I didn't get married until I was 43 and that was 32 years ago, but well worth the wait. Especially considering how many people I knew that jumped into things in which they got hurt badly such as divorce.