Discussion How would you react if your rapist committed suicide?

[fromange]

Or your bully, or your abusiver, or your nightmare roommate.

 

[itsgone2]

I have someone like this in my life. I would not care at all.

 

[SpencerSees]

He tried already apparently, and all he got was pity points so.
It'd be good that he couldn't hurt anyone but I am not listening to another only speak good or nothing about the dead convo.

 

[depressed_kitten97]

I think I'd be jealous and mad, honestly.
It should be the other way around, I die and not suffer anymore and he deals with the consequences of his actions, what he did to me.

Because even if he would be dead, i'd still live with it. I wouldn't forget it. I'd still have nightmares. I'd still want to die.

I don't know if it makes sense.

 

[grandeur.egg]

I no longer have any ties but if the information somehow made its way back to me i think id go manic. i went in a spiral when his uncle showed up at my old workplace and showed us a picture of him with a bloody nose after being decked in the face. itd get that weird crazed laughter and start detaching from reality

 

[RosebyAnyName]

Not enough, he needs to be raped back and forced to stay alive for it. Death is freedom, rapists don't deserve freedom.

 

[FadingSnowFake]

Whatever, good to know that the person won't be around to destroy more lives. But the damage was done...

 

[LostZombie]

I would be glad they couldn't destroy any more lives and they were suffering enough to do it. After that I would not care, and continue on with my day since in the end, nothing really matters.

 

[Pale_Rider]

One of us would feel sorry for them. [ or more then one. ] at least one would be overjoyed. The same one would wish they could see pics, or video of the death. He would take satisfaction in the knowledge that they had stood before the Lord, and been judged. The same one would over some length of time heal , and eventually maybe feel sorry for them. [ it's happened. There is no guarantee tho ) the one might even say a few indulgence prayers for them. That's the best case for the one. The others would have some satisfaction in the idea that they knew the truth now. They truth they were unable to discern in life about them. Of course they would have given them way to much credit. Assuming that all people have a heart, and are well intentioned. That's why the one is.

 

[always_a_crossroads]

...I'd worry that I'd be blamed. That people who know us both would twist "I escaped an abusive relationship" into "I drove them to suicide, clearly I must be the abusive one".

Why do you ask? Is this purely theoretical, or has something happened that made you wonder?

 

[BeyondSurvival]

I think I'd be jealous and mad, honestly.
It should be the other way around, I die and not suffer anymore and he deals with the consequences of his actions, what he did to me.

Because even if he would be dead, i'd still live with it. I wouldn't forget it. I'd still have nightmares. I'd still want to die.

I don't know if it makes sense.

That makes sense. But I feel like the question is meant to ask "what if they suffered enough to end it all?".
But still, at the end of the day, it's us who are suffering, not the dead.

 

[gothbird]

 

[Marbas]

I'd hope they'd have suffered as much as what they put me through.

 

[Dark Moon]

Only my past bullies would be applicable to me and I wouldn't care or it would be good that I got some sense of justice.

 

[Shadows From Hell]

There are a few people I wish would. I know it sounds harsh, but that's reality and I have no sympathy for those who wronged me.

 

[Grog]

I was never raped, but I was physically abused many, many times.

I would feel a sort of sense of relief, knowing that I wouldn't have to see him ever again and have to fear him or deal with him being a bully. But, I think I still would be sad because he is my brother, and I wished things could have ended up differently between us.

Maybe in another lifetime...

 

[kopebaldy]

Wouldn't change shit.

I'll probably be amused for a second or two then meh, back to the default state.

I'm too full of hatred for anything to quell. Well maybe except 10 billion dollars lol.

 

[CicisDoingUnwell]

Or your bully, or your abusiver, or your nightmare roommate.

piss on his grave.

 

[fromange]

...I'd worry that I'd be blamed. That people who know us both would twist "I escaped an abusive relationship" into "I drove them to suicide, clearly I must be the abusive one".

Why do you ask? Is this purely theoretical, or has something happened that made you wonder?

I was thinking of reasons that compel or obligate people to suicide. So this is thinking from the pov of others unlike of your own that you most often see (like just ending suffering, not having a future, etc) I think. Ie you don't deserve to live or the world is better without you. And I wondered if these reasons were compelling enough. Because unlike what prolife says, clearly plenty of people don't give a damn or would be happy.

I don't like to think I ever raped my ex but I've made her uncomfortable and tell me to stop. She was able to tell me but maybe there were times she just couldn't/didn't even if she wanted to. I've also been bullied and have bullied. I was such a piece of shit child. I've also been a pretty shit roommate, as much as I have had shit roommates. So yeah I also think I've overstayed my welcome here and feel like a coward and a cheat for lurking around.

 

[always_a_crossroads]

Ah, OK. Lots to unpack there.
I have some questions and some thoughts, but no time right now, sorry. I'll reply later today/tomorrow when I get a chance, OK?

 

[fromange]

Ah, OK. Lots to unpack there.
I have some questions and some thoughts, but no time right now, sorry. I'll reply later today/tomorrow when I get a chance, OK?

Sure lol. Unpack me. You can send a PM if you just want a personal convo

 

[always_a_crossroads]

Hahah fair.
If I'm off-base, feel free to correct me, or just tell me to go to hell.

I was thinking of reasons that compel or obligate people to suicide. So this is thinking from the pov of others unlike of your own that you most often see (like just ending suffering, not having a future, etc) I think. Ie you don't deserve to live or the world is better without you. And I wondered if these reasons were compelling enough. Because unlike what prolife says, clearly plenty of people don't give a damn or would be happy.

I don't like to think I ever raped my ex but I've made her uncomfortable and tell me to stop. She was able to tell me but maybe there were times she just couldn't/didn't even if she wanted to. I've also been bullied and have bullied. I was such a piece of shit child. I've also been a pretty shit roommate, as much as I have had shit roommates. So yeah I also think I've overstayed my welcome here and feel like a coward and a cheat for lurking around.

Do I understand correctly that your question - "How would you react if your rapist committed suicide? Or your bully, or your abusiver, or your nightmare roommate." - was referring to you? Like, "I wonder how people I've hurt would react if I committed suicide"?
If so, the answers you're getting here are biased for a bunch of reasons. Here's a few:

• your phrasing was "your rapist or abuser". This makes people think of THE person who hurt them the most. In my life I've been abused by several people, bullied by more, and hurt by yet more. Your question made me think of the person who pushed me into the worst mental health crisis of my life. I'm sure others also answered about whoever caused their worst trauma. People were thinking "the person who ruined my life" or "the person who laughed as they broke me", not "that kid who bullied me in sixth grade" or "my ex-partner who was kind of an idiot" or "my friend who was pushy and demanding" or etc.
• you specifically say you haven't raped your ex, but (part of) your question was "how would you feel about your rapist", so, big difference there.
• people who come to this forum are more likely to have been severely traumatized and/or suicidal. Their opinions are more reflective of "what would a traumatized/suicidal person think about this", not "what would a typical person think about this".
• in a similar vein, people who are more likely to click on this thread (and leave a reply) are also a specific group, not the general population. (I'm not trying to invalidate their answers - I respect their opinions and feelings - but this isn't a way to collect unbiased information.)

If you posted this because, on some level, you wanted confirmation that you're a horrible person who shouldn't be here, that's... honestly pretty clever. If the important thing is "I feel like a horrible person", that's valid. How you feel is how you feel. If you wanted validation for that, and/or if you wanted something to push you towards leaving, posing your question this way makes a lot of sense.
If you were looking for an objective view, though, I think there's a lot of distortion there. You've hurt people, and maybe some of it was excessive and unnecessary, but you don't sound as bad as you seem to believe, and I seriously doubt the people who responded in this thread would say the same things if your question was more specific to how you actually treated people.

(PS. This might be off-track, but I strongly disagree with "such a piece of shit child". I don't believe any child is ever a piece of shit. Children are cruel sometimes, and horrible sometimes, and idiots sometimes, (some more than others), - of course they are, they're still learning to be humans.
I don't know how difficult or horrid you were as a kid, and it sounds like there's guilt or self-hate over that, which is fair. I hope you can cut that little brat some slack, though.)