Story How was your guys' childhood?

[Sparkly rainbow]

In my personal life, being a kid (4-11) was the only time in my life when I was happy. Maybe it was because we were innocent, had little responsibilities or were carefree and naive. I constantly think of the past and reminisce about my childhood days especially ages 8-11 (The age when we develop character and mature.)
I remember I had the social skills and confidence to talk to new people and make friends. I was even part of a friend group and would play 4 square together. I felt like I belonged there and had a genuine connection with people. I even introduced my best friend to my other friends and he did the same. He was truly my missing puzzle piece and completed me as a person. We would share secrets, talk about our crushes, we would cry in front of each other if something was wrong. We were truly meant for each other and promised we would always be there for each other during high school, university and life beyond that.

Here is where everything changed.

When it was time to go to high school. I begged my parents to send me to a private school with my best friend but they refused, saying things like "people change and grow into different people" or "you were only close because you were both kids." I can still remember vividly the first day of high school. People were making friends and opening this new chapter of life. Meanwhile, I was just sitting at my desk wondering what to do. I had never experienced the pain of loneliness or alienation in my life. My best friend would always be there for me but now our lives split into completely different trajectories. My only thing that I had in my life was now gone. My will to live and my hope for the future completely shattered and has left me a broken person.

 

[badtoad12314]

Hmm, had a similar outlook as you when i was younger was a super happy go lucky person who basically was friends with everyone and enjoyed the company of others very much. My changes instead occured somewhere in middle school though. After countless times of hearing my parents call people that i enjoy hanging out with at school "aquantinces"(they believed if you didnt hang out with them outside of school you arent friends) and not my friends and well looking around and really feeling that i didnt really have a deeper connection not that i really had the chance because being able to hang out with anyone outside of school was a massive massive chore and my parents made it VERY VERY hard to interact with anyone outside of school. I mean i couldnt even go outside the house without begging. I really just felt so alone especially since tbh i was an annoying kid since i was super hyper and excited used to be able to take pride and not care but that shift occured and well began a downward spiral. All the constant beatings, the yellings, the fear, and the hate for myself upon listening to my mothers words eventually caught up with me and i just couldnt ignore it and move past it like nothing when i was younger. Kids would be shocked whenever i got in trouble in middle school i would just completely shut down and cry my eyes out softly to not disturb others because i knew what was waiting for me when i got home. Things only got worse in high school and well id say my upbringing has made me who i am now an extremely sad timid person. I dont really know what i am anymore after so much of following my parents i dont know what to do now that and incident between me and them happened.

 

[scenecore fan]

Almost the same for me here.

I was a regular and annoying kid, i wouldn't say hyper active but i was always looking forward to the next thing to do, the thing is, my mom was always abusive, she never really hit me, but she was emotionally abusive to compensate, like i was a 6 year old getting bsd grades and she would yell at me as if i just committed s crime or smth, not only that, she just yelled at on a regular basis, that later made me start repeating some of the same words she threw at me, sayin that i really was useless and shi, just for her to get mad at me for being influenced by her lol.

With the years she got a tiny bit more tolerable, but now i had to take care of her and the house itself while i was still a child, so now she had a new reason to get yelled at, i basically learned to hate and despise her at s very young age.

And ofc, now if i bring up any of the emotional abuse she gets sll defensive and pretends it never happened lol. (Srry if this comment had poor grammar lol)

 

[Captain laser]

i guess i was an outwardly happy child, but it was miserable how other kids treated me, i wouldnt go back in a million years

 

[Bybye]

Quite shit and isolated.

 

[tannhausers]

I would describe my childhood as carefree and, in a way, even happy, but it had its downsides.

My mom had me early; my dad and mom were 18 at the time. They lived together for a couple of years and then got divorced, leaving me with my grandmother; I rarely saw them. Plus, times were tough and money was very tight; according to my grandmother and other relatives who lived with me, we didn't even have enough money for food (but I was always well-fed, even if I didn't particularly enjoy sweets—thanks to my grandmother).

I grew up as a normal kid, though I was… soft? Being the oldest among the neighborhood kids and basically the biggest (not fat), I still got picked on, but I put up with it. At school, I didn't get along well with people; I didn't have many friends. I had one friend with whom I went to school and was close until 8th grade, but then he started hanging out with a different group, and I was left alone. After that, I tried to fit in with other groups, made friends with other people, but didn't feel the same connection as I did with that friend, and I still felt lonely.

I think the most depressing thing for me is that I rarely saw my mom and dad, who got divorced and left me with my grandmother. They both had other children from other marriages, and essentially, I was left out. Even though I lived with my grandmother, who basically replaced my mother, I still feel like I didn't get enough maternal love. And to this day, I still feel abandoned.

And what's probably the most annoying thing is that my father moved into my house (he built a house on property of my granparents, and moved in with his family) when I was 16, and started acting like my "father" and trying to "raise" me. Even though it was way too late for that—I'd been raised by my grandparents, and I was already 16 at the time.

But maybe I'm exaggerating my stories, and I'm just ungrateful for everything they gave me adn trying to do. I don't know...
I fear that im oversharing again

 

[inpainnosleep]

Was born in Eastern Europe. Very abusive, narcissistic mother from the very beginning (physically, verbally, emotionally.) Very high expectations, was forced to play piano (I was very good at it as a small child unfortunately) and other music activities, which I hated. Mom cursed at me and hit and for everything and nothing. Parents had a bad relationship. Was very close to 3 of my grandparents, one grandparent was abusive.

Started having mental health issues around 5. Started to have meltdowns that didn't feel right, and also had terrible thoughts which I couldn't get rid of which made me think that I would grow up to be a terrible person. In reality, I just had really bad OCD and couldn't understand my sexuality. We had a summer house and I loved it there because I could be with just my grandmother and I had kids to play with. Things with other kids were mostly fine until school started, where I was bullied by the entire class. Never understood why I got bullied so much, but finally got diagnosed with autism in late 30's so it made sense.

When I was around 7 our family started to prepare for immigration to the United States, which was super stressful, we immigrated when I was 9. Things got a million times worse. We immigrated without my grandparents (they came later) and my mother became a thousand times more abusive. The "fighting" would last all day and I still don't know how we all physically survived it. My parents also became a thousand times more abusive to each other and I continued to get bullied. Became depressed at 13, couldn't make friends. Didn't have any friends at my high school, which made me even more depressed. High expectations and forced music lessons continued. The only friend I made was in a choir outside my high school, and he died 6+ years ago and we were on really bad terms then. Overall it was crap but I have some good memories from it because of my grandparents.

 

[meiherasayuri]

My childhood was mostly lonely, but I was happy watching cartoons

 

[violetforever]

abusive

 

[itsgone2]

It seemed ok at the time but nothing was right. Dad was silent and not home. When I was 14 he died in a car accident. Drunk. Careless. Not like him.
My mom deserves credit for surviving that. But little else. Not loving. Discouraged me from college.
My biggest regret is realizing they never taught me anything and then doing the same to my kid. And I was angry like my dad. Why are cycles so hard to break?
I'd live my childhood 100x over and 100x worse conditions for the chance to be a dad again.

 

[morina]

Family Life: My mother was dysfunctional, narcisstic and abusive (mostly emotional, sometimes physical). My father carried all the housework and was abused, too, so he became an alcoholic. He wasn't violent to me, he only drank on evenings, so he was still functioning in society, but it hurt so much to see him in this drunk, only partly responsive state each evening. And his drunk ramblings provoked my mother to randomly abuse me even more, while he didn't do anything to protect me from her.

School life: Stopped going to school some time in elementary school because whenever I entered school, I got nauseous and felt like vomiting. Got put in a psych ward because of it. (After that, I re-entered school, because going to school nauseous was preferable to ever seeing a psych ward again. Vomited sometimes though and also sometimes randomly began crying. Lost all my friends during my absence, only found one new one after that, who was the first friend to abuse me.) I didn't even know my reason for feeling nauseous at that time, I even had "friends" (quotation marks because they basically adopted me and I didn't bring any value to that friendship since they always initiated doing something together), but in retrospective, after much thinking, it was probably the boys's comments on me being only friends with girls and my girly interests. They weren't even bullying, but I was too sensitive as a child and already hurt from my private life so that probably affected my subconscious way more than I even realised. Also, the constant pressure of being the gifted kid didn't help, either.

Free Time: I never had any interests or passions, tried out some things because my father wanted me to, but nothing brought me joy. Basically spent my days roleplaying with my stuffed animals and imagining how life could be better, sleeping, just lying there without any environmental input, or watching cartoons to at least sometimes numb my brain from the constant dark thoughts.

I don't even know if I should be happy to never have had a normal life I could compare my current situation to or sad that I had no time in my life that was worth living.


I read y'all's messages on this thread, too, but don't have anything noteworthy to say, so, uh, just feel virtually hugged if you want to.

 

[dandelion_fluff]

In my personal life, being a kid (4-11) was the only time in my life when I was happy. Maybe it was because we were innocent, had little responsibilities or were carefree and naive. I constantly think of the past and reminisce about my childhood days especially ages 8-11 (The age when we develop character and mature.)
I remember I had the social skills and confidence to talk to new people and make friends. I was even part of a friend group and would play 4 square together. I felt like I belonged there and had a genuine connection with people. I even introduced my best friend to my other friends and he did the same. He was truly my missing puzzle piece and completed me as a person. We would share secrets, talk about our crushes, we would cry in front of each other if something was wrong. We were truly meant for each other and promised we would always be there for each other during high school, university and life beyond that.

Here is where everything changed.

When it was time to go to high school. I begged my parents to send me to a private school with my best friend but they refused, saying things like "people change and grow into different people" or "you were only close because you were both kids." I can still remember vividly the first day of high school. People were making friends and opening this new chapter of life. Meanwhile, I was just sitting at my desk wondering what to do. I had never experienced the pain of loneliness or alienation in my life. My best friend would always be there for me but now our lives split into completely different trajectories. My only thing that I had in my life was now gone. My will to live and my hope for the future completely shattered and has left me a broken person.

Can relate to you, I also reminisce about my childhood. It wasn't perfect. I was still very shy and awkward back then, but things felt lighter. It's bittersweet to think about the past and miss it. For me, my happiest memories are actually from middle school, even though that's when my depression also worsened. I had a close group of friends that I really liked, and for once, I felt like I belonged somewhere. I remember them texting me first and actually thinking about me. Like you, things worsened in high school. The majority of my friends went to one high school, and although I asked my parents if I could go there, they ended up sending me to another high school. I lost that tight-knit group of friends, and back then, I thought it was natural and that I would soon enough befriend others. I should've held on tighter and kept in contact with them because that was the last time I felt like I truly had friends.

 

[StoneCactus]

Terrible. I am autistic and was bullied severely, and my brother was even more autistic and low functioning enough to never learn how to talk and not be potty trained until he was 8, which was very stressful to be around. And there was a lot of tension between my dad and I since he's religious and I am very much not. And I had to move twice (once at age 3 and once at age 10) My parents were hoarders to the point where I only ever had someone over to the house once or twice. And my parents both had pretty severe anger issues (my dad to the point where he almost got himself arrested once) Things actually got a little better when I went away to college, and then a lot better when I moved out of the dorms into the real world my sophomore year.

 

[coolbeans]

my mom treated me like her boyfriend as a kid so i never learned how to make friends with kids my age, and when i did i would talk to them about things they didn't understand or care about. i was mostly friends with teachers and cafeteria workers

 

[sweetbraid]

my dad first tried to kill me when i was like 8 months old, again between 1year and 2years old, again when i was 3. then he started raping me, then when i was around 6 he started sex trafficking me, which continued until i was around 11/12. my mom raised me to believe that nobody could ever truly love me or want good things for me and that if anyone every appeared to want to be my friend, i should not trust them because they're just trying to hurt me. both of my parents raised me to believe i am fundamentally unloveable and undeserving of love or friendship. they separated when i was 12 or so, i mostly lived with my mother who refused to allow me to have friends or any form of independence leading me to drugs and eventually a teen pregnancy which resulted in me running away to another city, then eventual homelessness (i was also homeless for several months in grade 8 when i was still living with her). i was severely bullied all through school, in grade 3 several kids in my class taught me how to tie a noose (the teacher either didnt care or wasnt paying attention), and throughout school i was just ridiculed, called names, beaten especially before grade 5. my childhood was a horror movie. it would have been better had my dad just killed me when i was an infant.

 

[ih34rty0u]

before school it was peak, i mainly spent time with my grandma and some kids from the neighborhood. the first two years of primary school were fine, but then i entered puberty, gained weight and the bullying started.
it continued throughout my whole education. i was bullied for my looks and being an outcast, girls took pictures of me to make fun of.
i never had any actual irl friends, i only met some while playing games online, but they never lasted long. i spent a lot time on my computer.
i also experienced domestic abuse (physical and mental). my parents had lots of agreements and were separated once, but they never got a divorce.

 

[RadiantNumber]

I was bullied in a school

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

I understand how you felt about your bestie, but we can't rely on anyone or anything outside ourselves to complete us; we have to be complete on our own.

 

[Spite]

My childhood was pretty bad. I'm autistic so I was a massive target for bullying all throughout school. I also had no friends and no social life (still don't), so I grew up consuming lots of media and that mainly consisted of watching heaps of TV shows and playing hundreds of video games. I grew up extremely sheltered and isolated.

Had an abusive father growing up too, along with a few more abusive step-fathers spread out over about ten years or so. My mother has always loved me and been supportive of me... but she does tend to be the type to just leave me to my devices and not really care about what I'm up to. She made very little effort to help me, never taught me how to cook, clean a shower, manage money, etc. Sitting in my dark bedroom in front of a screen for 6+ hours after school uninterrupted was pretty normal for me.

 

[suicidallysane]

I don't really remember a lot of my childhood, but I do remember holding in a lot of emotions and learning to internalize them. I would think about suicide a lot and expressed it verbally in elementary school. I was hyper sexual and witnessed my brother experiencing something traumatic and don't think I'll ever forgive myself for it. my dad was emotionally neglectful and my mom would beat me and my siblings often, but that's how they grew up. it's hard to be mad at them. I would write a lot of stories/draw and get lost in my craft for hours at a time. when I was fourteen I had my first attempt, started shing, psych ward visit, had 3 more visits throughout high school and now I'm in college trying not to go back to those coping mechanisms.