I have a crippling fear of humiliation/embarassment tht impacts just about everything. I've destroyed my life because of it and my passion has completely dulled party because of it and partly due to the effort it takes. It's like I'm allergic to effort. I have extremely foggy brain so whenever i sit down to something it's like a chaotic storm and becomes extremely indecisive but after some time i manage but then comes another challenge and that's being consistent. I can only stay consistent to something max 3 days. It's almost like taking myself out would be considered natural selection (and it is funnily enough)
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Spit On My Grave
Spit On My Grave
- Apr 7, 2026
- 142
Be more flexible and remember your biggest achievement and say most people give up half way to achieve this and for this reason no one is gonna stop me.
DoomsdayCTB
Member
- Apr 24, 2026
- 54
Start dancing. No I mean it. Dancing and learning to dance (doing your best) will give you so much confidence and DGAFness. I think the kids call it "dancejestering" lol Idk. I sound old. But go to a club, karaoke bar, music festival, etc. Literally everyone will be hyping you up at these places at least if you're in your 35-45 age range. I heard Gen Z kinda killed the club scene. But all those other places will be supportive. Dance classes. Look at the daughter of Angelina Jolie- Shiloh? How she started dance class Idk 5 years ago and look at her dancing now. This doesn't have to become a hobby, but it's a really good way to get your confidence and mood up. Goodluck
DoomsdayCTB
Member
- Apr 24, 2026
- 54
lol what? I want to be your friend, I would help you. I'm one of those "funny" but depressed af people. But I help people come out of their shell.
It feels really tough and I can relate to that. There are moments I have to force myself, as if fighting myself internally, to do what is in my best interest - such as working on a uni assignment that is actually interesting, but looks like a huge monster (and ends up not being a huge monster).
I wish I could tell you what truly helps to stay focused and get work done. For me it has become a bit of a random thing and I can't identify a formula. Being too tired definitely doesn't work. One needs a fair amount of quality rest. My humble advice is that you try and find your formula for maximizing focus and effort - for "getting into the zone". There must be factors that you can influence that would maximize it for you. Sometimes what really works for me is just to pick a task up, to start - as in Physics, that initial friction needed to get an object moving is the hardest part. It's easier to keep it moving once it's not stationary anymore.
When it comes to stydying, it also helps me to print stuff and read it in a coffee shop. If I stay home and try to read technical literature, I start to feel anxious and distracted. It is a kind of a little hack, I suppose. Also, there seem to be studies suggesting people learn better by reading on paper than on screen.
I totally disagree with your last remark on natural selection. You have articulated your wording in the message well enough to come across as an intelligent person. I don't think natural selection would prefer to get rid of you over most people. :)Last edited:
HighFlight
Global mod
- Jun 28, 2023
- 723
I really sorry to hear you are having to deal with is. I refer to as fear of judgement, but it equates to the same thing - constantly being on guard against anything you can do or say that will cause others to judge/mock you. It is exhausting, and makes finding the energy to do anything that much harder.
But there are ways you can control it. The first thing to realize is that everyone, regardless of how polished they may look or sound, deals with this fear to some extent. Know that you are not alone - I've struggled with it for decades. Reminding myself that others are too wrapped up in their own problems to be concerned about what I'm doing helps me a lot.
Another way I deal with it is to embrace the fear. Fully acknowledge it, even to others shows that you're human. Doing a presentation, open with a joke about it. Tell your friends. And push your boundaries, just a little more with each opportunity you get.
Regarding the amount of effort it takes to do any of this, focus on small goals and take things day-by-day. Small consistent actions are the best way to form habits that can last.
Finally, don't forget to give yourself a little grace and to reward yourself for even the smallest accomplishments. You are worth the effort.
I don't know if this help or not, but hopefully it will at least give you something to consider.
Regardless, I truly hope that you can find some peace along your journey.
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