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gurohub

gurohub

( ҂ × ཀ × )
Jan 11, 2026
4
i want to kill myself so bad but one of the things i keep ruminating on is the fact people are going to post memorial photos and anecdotes about me which i can't stand!! even whilst im still alive i try to limit how much people see/know of me to an absolute minimum, and i know once im dead i wont be able to control that.
i think its because of my intense social anxiety and body/facial dysmorphia I've been struggling with my entire life, I've always wished i never met the people in my life and wish i never existed in the first place. I feel cursed in my body and I've never been able to be happy because of how much i care about other people's perception of me
 
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violetforever

violetforever

Specialist
Dec 24, 2025
308
as dumb as it sounds this is a reason that keeps me from ctb too. i'm a private person. i don't want my family to post photos or stuff about me either lol. like why does anyone other than the people that i see daily to monthly (which is literally only my family) need to know about my death? i wish i could just die in peace.
 
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RosebyAnyName

RosebyAnyName

Staring at the ceiling for 6 hours
Nov 9, 2023
409
Maybe this is a weird way to think about it, but I've just accepted that people will never be able to understand me or my struggles, and therefore will never actually know the true me. The people in my life currently refuse to acknowledge who I really am, what chances will they have when I'm dead? In a weird way, my true self will remain private.

If you mean how to avoid people misinterpreting you, or you just don't like your face shown everywhere, then I don't really have any advice, sorry. Best you could do is write a note with your wish to not be shown or written about, but chances are that kind of request will be ignored.
 
gurohub

gurohub

( ҂ × ཀ × )
Jan 11, 2026
4
Maybe this is a weird way to think about it, but I've just accepted that people will never be able to understand me or my struggles, and therefore will never actually know the true me. The people in my life currently refuse to acknowledge who I really am, what chances will they have when I'm dead? In a weird way, my true self will remain private.

If you mean how to avoid people misinterpreting you, or you just don't like your face shown everywhere, then I don't really have any advice, sorry. Best you could do is write a note with your wish to not be shown or written about, but chances are that kind of request will be ignored.
I really can't deal with the thought of people misinterpreting me either😭 bc so far nobody knows the extent of how depressed i really am. I guess it help to also know that once you're dead, you won't have to worry about anything anymore and it's kinda relieving knowing you absolutely won't be here to have to deal with what goes on afterwards
 

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