Discussion How old are you and how long have you been depressed or suicidal?

[aGoodDayToDie]

41m london. Depressed since 16 (25 years) suicidal since 19. But first thoughts of wanting to die since I was 6

 

[Elle]

20. Have been depressed and shit since I was 7/8 years old.

 

[thovens]

32. I'm depressed since 13. It's much much worse now. Suicidal thoughts started when I was 23-24.

 

[Maravillosa]

Hello all! I'm 56 (my 57th birthday is in September). I think I've been depressed fairly consistently since I was about ten years old, and intermittently suicidal since I was sixteen. Current psych diagnoses: dysthymia/persistent depressive disorder with major depression. My atypical major depression includes occasional transient psychotic episodes. I also have PTSD. About twenty years ago, I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, but my current psychiatrist tells me I no longer meet the criteria.

 

[whywere]

I am 67, and I have had massive depressive disorder, BPD and a host of other issues all my life.

I have also found out that my heritage is littered with folks locked up against their will and suicides. So, it is a hereditary thing for me.

Walter

 

[sometimes.sometimes]

I am 18 and they started when I was 7 or 8

 

[EternalOblivion]

I'm almost 31 - I've been dealing with depression since I was about 11 or 12.

 

[Maeve]

20. lives shit since kindergarten
Got bullied because of my poor sozjalskilly because of adhd and autism.
7was put on meds wrong doese made me completely shut down first try to leave with 8 but more of a help cry then an actual try. 14 i heard that people can change their gender and started questioning mine.y parents (chrisians) didn't want that. With 16 i was shure i was a girl but was forced through the wrong puberty. That's when i really got depressed and now i am fighting on to at least see my transition through.... I try at least. Sorry for the rant love you all

 

[corpsenotfound]

21, since i was around 9/10.
got bullied alot too, started self harming at 13, tried to take my life the first time by od when i was 15, another 2 attempts when i was 18 & 20
spent alot of time the last 2 years in mental hospitals and rehabilitation centres but it hasn't helped. i have severe depression, anxiety, adhd and bpd. my biggest issue is loneliness though. Don't have any friends irl, everyone either used me, lied to me or cheated on me. No wants anything to do with me unless they get something out of it. I've had problems saying "no" in the past but it's gotten easier standing up for myself but i still feel like dirt having to do everything in my life all alone by myself without anyone to really talk to, share with, or evens hang out. I'm so mentally drained from studies and emotionally i can't keep up with life anymore, i mean what's the point living if im going to be alone for the rest of my life? I just wish i had some sort of purpose or motivation. something to drive to wake up in the morning smiling when starting my day instead of being miserable

 

[d3j3ct3dl0s3r05]

18 and since 7

 

[Phantomygg]

27 I've had depression and Anxiety start around 8 or 9 when I moved schools and got severly bullied by teachers and the other students

 

[WeDontKnowTheFuture]

22, first suicidal ideation at 17, depressed since 15 or 16. Now my ideations are constant. Cannot imagine myself move toward better for different reasons and i want to preserve my family to suffer. So i guess i'm trapped here.

 

[rabbitmalice56]

im 22, it probably started when i was 14. reading inio asano's works at 15 did NOT help at all lol

 

[Blimp]

I'm 21 I first "attempted" ( Tried to self immolate by burning my hoodie with a match) at 14 and it's been only downhill since

 

[annxietty]

Lets see... I recently turned 23, and Ive been depressed maybe since I was 13-14, when I was that young I had a pretty good school life, so going to school helped me, almost like I had another life outside the life I lived at home, but then summer would come and I had to stay at home for a long time and I hated that. Then I slowly became agoraphobic, stopped going out with friends, everything scared me... Its been a long time, cant even remember last time I felt "normal"... Now Im in a better environment but my head is still struggling so much, Im broken...

 

[FailureToAll]

I'm 24. I've been depressed since 13 and made my first attempt at 14

 

[anhedonicNfoggy]

I'm 20. It happened when I was 16. Because of stressful life factors. I was ruminating a lot. Before that, I wasn't depressed but I remember in 8th grade, I was certain I wanted to cut my wrists to die and my mom blocked the bathroom. And I'd think occasionally about wanting to jump out the window of my bedroom but I knew it wasn't high enough despite the concrete floor.

 

[voc_89]

33 years old. Felt this way from 15

 

[ToniFoxGirl!!]

I'm 24. I've dealt with suicidal thoughts, depression, other mental afflictions since the 7th grade. My current suicidal bout has been going on since April 2023.

 

[Agon321]

I'm 20 years old and it's hard to say how long I've been depressed. I'm not even 100% sure if I have depression, because I don't want to diagnose myself, but most likely yes, because the symptoms theoretically match the vast majority of them. My mental decline started when I was about 15, but it wasn't straight away depression (or maybe it was, I don't know). I started completely ignoring school and any development because I thought in my head that it made no sense. I also had the thought that if something went wrong, I could CTB at any time (then my plan was to throw myself in front of the train). I also started hanging out with some shady people and was close to becoming some kind of drug dealer or something, but at some point it all ended. This was due to the fact that when I was about 17 years old, the greatest decline took place and it continues to this day, in various forms. I used to usually feel sad and empty. Now it's more indifference, emptiness, anger, but also, in a sense, joy.

 

[dylanoffline]

I'm eighteen (turning nineteen in five days) and I've been depressed since I was born pretty much, though I've been suicidal since I knew the meaning of the word, so maybe around twelve?

 

[backtoearth]

I'm 22, so it's been around 10 years now. My family has a lot of genetic mental health issues/physical illness so it's unsurprising that I'm also fucked up

 

[Minsu]

I'm 22 and I remember I was 12 when I thought about ctb

 

[SolaceNight]

I was probably 5-6 when i made something bad, that i will not specify but wasn't something huge. And i out of anxiety and fear, blaming myself, i locked myself in a bathroom and started yelling "i'll kill myself". Its the first record i have of suicidal thoughts. I have been depressed since early memories of my life. Not wanting to live, fleeing from my problems. So... yeah. Im 21 today btw.

 

[Boudika]

I'm almost 19 and and I'm depressed and suicide since I was 7

 

[hevlalab]

20. Been depressed and suicidal for 4 months

 

[AllCatsAreGrey]

I'm 44. I have been depressed since around 11. I have attempted to CTB 4 times in my life and have had a couple times that I was close, but flinched. The first attempt was at 16. My last serious attempt was around 32. Ideation is very common for me. I'm currently in a period of recovery.

 

[AntiqueCell]

I will be 26 in few months, been depressed since I was 19. I need to note though that my depression wasn't at a fixed level but rather progressive...basically it got worse over the years.

 

[wanttodie]

been depressed and suicidal for 20 years hope to end it soon

 

[mekurin]

19 never got diagnosed because they refused to take me in for an assessment but I think it started going downhill when I was somewhere around 15