Discussion How much of your suicidality is caused by romantic loneliness?

[_Gollum_]

Whether you're in a relationship that's breaking down, or have never been in one but urgently desire one, or anything in between, how much of your suicidality is caused by romantic loneliness?

 

[Vorty30]

Well, to be honest the solid chunk is caused by all sorts of loneliness in general.
Being it a romantic one is also another cog in this whole process.
Never have been in one, I can't say it has been urgent to get one... But it does eat away at your soul.
I voted for the top % because honestly, it does... It does hit the nail at the top of the coffin.

 

[bankai]

I voted 0. None of it. I've never had a problem with that sort of thing. However, I don't want it. I need this thing going on with me fixed before I can do that.i don't want to push this on someone else.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

none of it . i don't need nor want any kind of relationship with a human, certainly not any romantic relationship.

i do have many other reasons for killing myself

why do i have to get a gf or a friend? i don't .

why do i have to want to live another minute? i don't. there is no reason.

 

[UtopianSoliloquies]

Before I got into a relationship, I probably would've voted 51-75% or something like that. But I think I've realized that my loneliness was much more general than that, and that as a man, we don't have as many social models for how to build meaningful friendships and support networks, so a lot of that we end up projecting onto a romantic partner if we're looking for one. It's not to say the relationship hasn't helped at all, it certainly has; but the underlying problem of not having many meaningful human connections has only been reduced by one person, which is generally not enough.

 

[Namelesa]

At this point in my life, I don't even know the percentage. Previously I would say 50-75% cus of me feeling empty about life cus of not being in relationship (this feeling is due with that i been in relationships before but those ended and that broke me) but now I literally don't know what I truly want now aside from death or sleep. Like I just feel unfulfilled by everything now. Tho also i am really missing a previous relationship again currently for some reason even tho it was really unhealthy and I was the one to break it up. I really can't make up my mind.

 

[GhostInTheMachine]

I was suicidal before dating my current BF, and I'm still (albeit less so) suidical now. Lonliness in general is something I seemed to tolerate well since I'm pretty anti-social, but at the same time I'm extroverted so I have to at least get outside and/or interact with people from time to time.

 

[Aergia]

I like this poll idea. I wonder what it would look like split by gender.

 

[darksouls]

my ex-boyfriends treated me like trash
I was unhappy in my relationships
but loneliness also makes me unhappy
I have always wished for a loving partner
but I never recieved love from a man
I gave up a long time ago

 

[amerie]

I am voluntarily celibate because I'm not mentally apt enough to maintain any type of romantic or sexual relationship. Which sucks when you're a sensitive person who wants to be loved.

 

[Forever Sleep]

None. I'm alone but not lonely.

 

[UnusedGate]

Not much. I can live with being lonely. What matters most to me is financial success. Obviously I'd be happier if I was in a relationship tho.

 

[PI3.14]

Only partially. I have other issues that are more important to me than a relationship. Also, getting in a relationship with my current state is impossible anyways.

 

[NonEssential]

Never having been in a relationship definitely contributes to my feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness. Especially when you know that if people find out about that, they'll be looking down on you. Still, I guess the latter point doesn't matter, because nobody really cares about me anyway.

 

[cvury]

I will die KHHV, I have realized that my neurodivergency will never land me a girlfriend.

 

[-Link-]

Does it make sense to say that I don't feel lonely but don't like being alone?

So, maybe I'd like the perks of a connection without the angst of a relationship... And yet there's a hollowness to that, isn't there.

Strings or no strings, I am in tune with my inability to handle other people and have basically accepted it. Whether this drives my suicidality (or how much), I'm not sure. In my lowest lows, I don't find myself longing for romantic connection. I want to say it's more about meaning or purpose or feeling like I belong.

But somewhere under all this anxiety, stress, and depression must be a desire to find 'my person'. I am sure of it. So, I'd label it a contributing factor, if only a subtle one.

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

Aromantic master race checking in.

 

[username12345]

I'm actually more annoyed people can't just talk to me about anything besides sex. It feels like people only talk to me to complain about me or to ask for sex

 

[Kanoh]

0% for me. Actually if anything, being alone and not in a relationship make it all better. My mind is preoccupied with my mental issues to even think about it. Relationship would be bad both for me and for the other person. Most likely if I was healthy I would be single as well. Relationships are way too overrated.

 

[tapetum_lucidum]

Quite a bit. I haven't had a romantic relationship since middle school (if you even count those) and I'm turning 22 next month. I've had a few (like two) situationships where I was essentially led on and of course they didn't work out. I'm not the most important person in anyone's life. It hurts so much. I just want to be wanted. I confessed to my best friend a few years ago and got rejected. Thankfully we are still friends but recently she told be she has gotten a boyfriend. Some guy she just met a few months ago. We've known each other for ten years. It sounds like the two of them don't even have much in common. It just doesn't make sense to me.

 

[_AllCatsAreGrey_]

This is an interesting question, particularly when phrased in a quantifiable way. I chose the half mark 25-50%. I have never had an issue forming romantic relationships, but I have often been plagued by the feeling that we're not on the same page - or at least unsure about that.

I have a long term partner that I value, but I'm often concerned that we're not connected in the way we "should" be. This reflects both on me and how I see my partner.

This process makes me feel isolated and I sense it also makes my partner feel that way. A loneliness develops in this. Even though I have a long term partnership that I have long craved, there is an uncertainty that this has been obtained.

Without a doubt this is a trauma response. I've often felt close to people, but later it's revealed that I was mistaken. I'll never be able to understand how others think and feel.

Somehow connecting to others highlights this uncertainty and doubt. I think I'll always be alone - no matter how many loved ones are around me. This is at the core of my suicidality. Often I want it to end, just so I don't have to be foggy in things that others seem to view as clear.