divinemistress36
Angelic
- Jan 1, 2024
- 4,749
How many years have you wasted cause of mental illness/chronic illness?
22yearsbroken
Lost in the dark... with no sign of light
- Feb 15, 2025
- 387
Every day since ocrober 23rd 2003 ...
I rest without peace,
moved from shadow to light,
I need no food nor little rain
waiting to bloom a single flower,
A flower for all to know i have beauty to give,
that i hide from those who see th xonstant full bloom, i mask,
My time waits for that moment,
Like the hour gĺass lays on side,
I wait to be righted for the sand to flow,
Then
my place in the sun will bloom
For last time,
As it marks my home ..
- s.holt
I rest without peace,
moved from shadow to light,
I need no food nor little rain
waiting to bloom a single flower,
A flower for all to know i have beauty to give,
that i hide from those who see th xonstant full bloom, i mask,
My time waits for that moment,
Like the hour gĺass lays on side,
I wait to be righted for the sand to flow,
Then
my place in the sun will bloom
For last time,
As it marks my home ..
- s.holt
Last edited:
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I was officially diagnosed in my late teens, I'm now in my 30s.
I don't remember ever being a happy kid - I was the loner at school no one wanted to be friends with. I tried my best to fit in but always knew that I was different. When other people were celebrating milestones, I felt too numb, empty and depressed to do much else. I sat on the sidelines of life, watching the rest of the world go by.
I don't remember ever being a happy kid - I was the loner at school no one wanted to be friends with. I tried my best to fit in but always knew that I was different. When other people were celebrating milestones, I felt too numb, empty and depressed to do much else. I sat on the sidelines of life, watching the rest of the world go by.
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I think I wasted a good 20 or more. I'm a 42 year old unemployed artist.
I live with my parents and have a long distance gf (who likes her me times and ignores me sometimes).
I feel alone and helpless. I'm disabled because of scoliosis, lymphedema, and obesity.
I used to have a life and travel till thyroid cancer and the chemo fucked up my body.
I also think my best friend my mom is on her last legs. It's really tough taking care of her with my dad.
I've attempted multiple times and was found everything even when I cut my wrists and the time I took a ton of my psych meds and went peacefully to sleep only to wake up in the ER with a tube down my throat. My mom says I pulled it out which made my throat hurt for a week. Then I had another long stay in the mental health unit after the ER.
42 just sucks. It feels like I have to much life to live and not enough energy or strength. I resent my family for finding me. Especially with the pills because I went so peacefully. I just fell asleep. It would have worked because it gave me double pneumonia. My lungs were full of like 2 liters of fluid.
I'm so depressed I feel physically ill, and it's constant. Sucks I have to suffer through therapy to and take psych meds. I also got coerced into doing electro cunvulsive therapy years ago and I think that messed up my thinking. I also have out of control psoriasis which burns and itches alot of the time. ( supposed to be getting pills for that soon).
My dad is a huge angry asshole who frequently blows up at me over everything.
I pray I get really bad cancer or something... I never have enough time on my own to try to CTB. My dad says no matter what he won't let me die and I have to conceal how I feel around my mom. She has dementia so bad she gets lost in the house and freaks out and yells for me or my dad.
I just don't see things getting better. I pray for death. I hope the afterlife is better or if there's nothing then that's better than where I am.
I used to believe in the afterlife till that attempt that I completely went out because all I remember is blackness then waking up in the hospital twice.
That cool deep all muscle relaxing sleep was such a nice way to go. My mom called 911. I try not to resent her because she's sweet and I love her. I just can't take this shit anymore...
I think I wasted a good 20 or more. I'm a 42 year old unemployed artist.
I live with my parents and have a long distance gf (who likes her me times and ignores me sometimes).
I feel alone and helpless. I'm disabled because of scoliosis, lymphedema, and obesity.
I used to have a life and travel till thyroid cancer and the chemo fucked up my body.
I also think my best friend my mom is on her last legs. It's really tough taking care of her with my dad.
I've attempted multiple times and was found everything even when I cut my wrists and the time I took a ton of my psych meds and went peacefully to sleep only to wake up in the ER with a tube down my throat. My mom says I pulled it out which made my throat hurt for a week. Then I had another long stay in the mental health unit after the ER.
42 just sucks. It feels like I have to much life to live and not enough energy or strength. I resent my family for finding me. Especially with the pills because I went so peacefully. I just fell asleep. It would have worked because it gave me double pneumonia. My lungs were full of like 2 liters of fluid.
I'm so depressed I feel physically ill, and it's constant. Sucks I have to suffer through therapy to and take psych meds. I also got coerced into doing electro cunvulsive therapy years ago and I think that messed up my thinking. I also have out of control psoriasis which burns and itches alot of the time. ( supposed to be getting pills for that soon).
My dad is a huge angry asshole who frequently blows up at me over everything.
I pray I get really bad cancer or something... I never have enough time on my own to try to CTB. My dad says no matter what he won't let me die and I have to conceal how I feel around my mom. She has dementia so bad she gets lost in the house and freaks out and yells for me or my dad.
I just don't see things getting better. I pray for death. I hope the afterlife is better or if there's nothing then that's better than where I am.
I used to believe in the afterlife till that attempt that I completely went out because all I remember is blackness then waking up in the hospital twice.
That cool deep all muscle relaxing sleep was such a nice way to go. My mom called 911. I try not to resent her because she's sweet and I love her. I just can't take this shit anymore...
I live with my parents and have a long distance gf (who likes her me times and ignores me sometimes).
I feel alone and helpless. I'm disabled because of scoliosis, lymphedema, and obesity.
I used to have a life and travel till thyroid cancer and the chemo fucked up my body.
I also think my best friend my mom is on her last legs. It's really tough taking care of her with my dad.
I've attempted multiple times and was found everything even when I cut my wrists and the time I took a ton of my psych meds and went peacefully to sleep only to wake up in the ER with a tube down my throat. My mom says I pulled it out which made my throat hurt for a week. Then I had another long stay in the mental health unit after the ER.
42 just sucks. It feels like I have to much life to live and not enough energy or strength. I resent my family for finding me. Especially with the pills because I went so peacefully. I just fell asleep. It would have worked because it gave me double pneumonia. My lungs were full of like 2 liters of fluid.
I'm so depressed I feel physically ill, and it's constant. Sucks I have to suffer through therapy to and take psych meds. I also got coerced into doing electro cunvulsive therapy years ago and I think that messed up my thinking. I also have out of control psoriasis which burns and itches alot of the time. ( supposed to be getting pills for that soon).
My dad is a huge angry asshole who frequently blows up at me over everything.
I pray I get really bad cancer or something... I never have enough time on my own to try to CTB. My dad says no matter what he won't let me die and I have to conceal how I feel around my mom. She has dementia so bad she gets lost in the house and freaks out and yells for me or my dad.
I just don't see things getting better. I pray for death. I hope the afterlife is better or if there's nothing then that's better than where I am.
I used to believe in the afterlife till that attempt that I completely went out because all I remember is blackness then waking up in the hospital twice.
That cool deep all muscle relaxing sleep was such a nice way to go. My mom called 911. I try not to resent her because she's sweet and I love her. I just can't take this shit anymore...
I think I wasted a good 20 or more. I'm a 42 year old unemployed artist.
I live with my parents and have a long distance gf (who likes her me times and ignores me sometimes).
I feel alone and helpless. I'm disabled because of scoliosis, lymphedema, and obesity.
I used to have a life and travel till thyroid cancer and the chemo fucked up my body.
I also think my best friend my mom is on her last legs. It's really tough taking care of her with my dad.
I've attempted multiple times and was found everything even when I cut my wrists and the time I took a ton of my psych meds and went peacefully to sleep only to wake up in the ER with a tube down my throat. My mom says I pulled it out which made my throat hurt for a week. Then I had another long stay in the mental health unit after the ER.
42 just sucks. It feels like I have to much life to live and not enough energy or strength. I resent my family for finding me. Especially with the pills because I went so peacefully. I just fell asleep. It would have worked because it gave me double pneumonia. My lungs were full of like 2 liters of fluid.
I'm so depressed I feel physically ill, and it's constant. Sucks I have to suffer through therapy to and take psych meds. I also got coerced into doing electro cunvulsive therapy years ago and I think that messed up my thinking. I also have out of control psoriasis which burns and itches alot of the time. ( supposed to be getting pills for that soon).
My dad is a huge angry asshole who frequently blows up at me over everything.
I pray I get really bad cancer or something... I never have enough time on my own to try to CTB. My dad says no matter what he won't let me die and I have to conceal how I feel around my mom. She has dementia so bad she gets lost in the house and freaks out and yells for me or my dad.
I just don't see things getting better. I pray for death. I hope the afterlife is better or if there's nothing then that's better than where I am.
I used to believe in the afterlife till that attempt that I completely went out because all I remember is blackness then waking up in the hospital twice.
That cool deep all muscle relaxing sleep was such a nice way to go. My mom called 911. I try not to resent her because she's sweet and I love her. I just can't take this shit anymore...
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2 years completely isolated in my room. Not counting the rest of my miserable life of course.
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leloyon
I'll see you in the Wired.
- Feb 4, 2023
- 1,519
Hmmm... I'd say at least from twelve years old, to present day (present time, AHAHAHA!). I'd say those years have all been outright wasted.
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sadsoni
will you hold me and stop me from shaking?
- Feb 28, 2025
- 73
Depression stalked me silently in teenage upto college. Then it burst out at work, I quit, went manic delusional, then crazy depressed. Meds and shrinks, back to work, the cycle repeats and things have never been the same.
Yeah mental instability is a real bitch. Bye bye life
Yeah mental instability is a real bitch. Bye bye life
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Crematoryy
Wandering endlessly
- Feb 12, 2025
- 118
I wasted 5 years of my life (the best ones). From age 16 to 21.
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music
i'll scatter like birds
- Feb 1, 2023
- 101
six in a row and counting. 15 -> 21. not great. i'd count school years before then but at least i was working toward something. and busy being a child yknow
i haven't known anybody or done anything persistently since 2019 so that's probably as close to 'wasted' as you could reasonably get.
i do try not to view things like that though. whatever happens i'm doing my best fr
i haven't known anybody or done anything persistently since 2019 so that's probably as close to 'wasted' as you could reasonably get.
i do try not to view things like that though. whatever happens i'm doing my best fr
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sanction
sanctioned
- Mar 15, 2019
- 649
Almost 10 years. A difficult reality to process. Feels like such a waste of precious time you'll never get back
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