Discussion how many of us have eating disorders?

[broth0100]

just curious - wondering how many ppl here also deal w eating disorders

 

[Unrecognizable7]

I used to and having control and hope was nice ngl

 

[worthless creature]

i struggle with anorexia, i do sometimes miss eating things like bread, pizza, etc. but i am vegeterian, so its easy to tell people i just eat a lot of tofu and black beans >w<
i just want to be thin :c

 

[opheliaoveragain]

meee. ana for over a decade. currently in heavy restriction mode.

 

[SmilingNoMore]

Anorexic tendencies too

 

[JesiBel]

Not really.. I just watch my weight.

As long as the scale reads 40kg, I'll be fine. Before my limit was 35kg but I didn't feel well.

 

[Namelesa]

I used to suffer from anorexia and was quite underweight but have thankfully recovered from it thanks to hrt. My eating disorder was connected with my gender dysphoria and that I had the distorted belief that for me to be seen as a girl I needed to be skinny as possible. Hrt allowed me to like to gain weight as it would be more gender affirming to do so while on it then to still restrict my eating on it. Can't grow boobs if you don't eat.

 

[steel-and-glass]

We're constantly trying to stop getting back together with Ana - living with a partner and a friend who cares about Us makes it hard to keep in contact with her.

We can't even get a consultation for the kind of bottom surgery We want unless We lose at least 80lbs, but We're also physically disabled, so We don't really stand a chance unless We give in and restart our relationship with beautiful, perfect Ana.

I know she'll never love Us like the other people in Our life, but I miss the airy joy of following her demands.

Steel

 

[opheliaoveragain]

We're constantly trying to stop getting back together with Ana - living with a partner and a friend who cares about Us makes it hard to keep in contact with her.

We can't even get a consultation for the kind of bottom surgery We want unless We lose at least 80lbs, but We're also physically disabled, so We don't really stand a chance unless We give in and restart our relationship with beautiful, perfect Ana.

I know she'll never love Us like the other people in Our life, but I miss the airy joy of following her demands.

Steel

I relate to this. specifically the airy joy that starvation can bring.

 

[Spicy Tteokbokki]

I do binge every now and then and if I reach a certain weight I do restrict heavily because I ain't letting myself get fat anymore, but my weight has mostly been stable for a few years now after I started eating healthily most of the time, or well, animal-based/low carb in general.
Past very underweight and very overweight prior to learning about nutrition and the effects on your mental health and how cravings, satiety etc works and what affects it. Thought only willpower was the solution, which is a load of bs and the worst way you can go about trying to manage it, but that was all I was taught.

I relate to this. specifically the airy joy that starvation can bring.

Extended fasting is amazing. You lose weight, you feel light, your ketones also get very high so you feel extra good, hunger completely disappears, you save a ton of money (big ED trigger of mine ngl). It's so addicting if you get into a cycle of it.

 

[steel-and-glass]

I relate to this. specifically the airy joy that starvation can bring.

Our loved ones look at Our pictures from when We were at Our thinnest, and Ana was pulling the strings, and say We looked unhealthy. We were also tired and stressed from a bad situation with losing a couple friends. We remember the joy of wearing whatever We wanted. Of feeling like We were floating instead of walking.

Fuck, I miss her.

Steel

 

[worthless creature]

I used to suffer from anorexia and was quite underweight but have thankfully recovered from it thanks to hrt. My eating disorder was connected with my gender dysphoria and that I had the distorted belief that for me to be seen as a girl I needed to be skinny as possible. Hrt allowed me to like to gain weight as it would be more gender affirming to do so while on it then to still restrict my eating on it. Can't grow boobs if you don't eat.

i struggle with this a lot, curse to have small boobs because i cant control myself. i am so focused on seeing my weight on my scale go down.

 

[galaxid]

So I don't really know if it counts, but I spent a solid 2 - 3 years eating a single food (same brand, same flavor) and if I didn't have it, I didn't eat. I think they call it ARFID??? or something like that. I've been trying to eat better, but how the hell can I do that if chewing a single vegetable makes me feel physically sick? And that's WITH anti-anxiety medication, and mental preparation, and all this other shit they tell you to do when you're feeling anxious. Turns out it doesn't work!

At one point I was so anxious I didn't eat much except intermittent snacking, and that lasted a couple of months. After getting super sick and went to the ER because I thought I was dying, I had to eat toast, bananas, and saltine crackers for a week before I could eat anything else. I lost all the muscle I was trying to build, I was shaky and could hardly walk down the damn stairs... but I lost like 10 pounds. Most of which was probably muscle. My calves looked like someone had taken bites out of them. And when I started eating again, I gained weight. Again. It's a vicious cycle and psych medication has in part helped to ruin my body. I wasn't fat until I started taking them. When I stopped, I lost weight. When I started again, I gained it all back and then some.

Lately I've been surviving off of nutrition shakes and a multivitamin. God forbid they stop making this brand of shake because I can't drink anything else.

 

[sweetcreep]

i tend to binge eat and it varies. i'll go almost the whole day without eating because of guilt and other negative thoughts, but closer towards the night i crack and eat something. at that point i'll just keep eating whatever i can find until i feel disgusted by what i'm doing. or i'll just eat a lot throughout the day, even if i'm not hungry, i'll just eat as a distraction or to feel better.

 

[Spicy Tteokbokki]

So I don't really know if it counts, but I spent a solid 2 - 3 years eating a single food (same brand, same flavor) and if I didn't have it, I didn't eat. I think they call it ARFID???

No idea if I go through the same, but I do have periods where I can only eat one thing or only a few things and everything else just repulses me and makes me sick so I don't eat at all if I cannot have my food of choice.
It always looks extremely in my fridge. 200 eggs only. 10s of kgs of yoghurt only. 10s of kgs of ground beef only. Cans and cans and cans of beans and/or tomato paste.. lol
Had a friend before snap a picture because she found it so fascinating.
Mentioned this to my psych today but she didn't seem to really talk about it too much beyond just noting it down.

 

[foggyskies_]

My girlfriend's been telling me I'm developing an eating disorder, but I don't have a lot of restricting behaviors or anything... yet. I definitely have the "ana thoughts" if you will. I've become really compulsive about nutrition, calories, no fat, no cholesterol, bla bla bla. And the guilt after eating. I tried to purge once but couldn't manage it. I guess you could call me an orthorexic? But nobody calls you mentally ill in normie society for wanting to be healthy and shave weight. My OCD cleanliness compulsion is a factor as well. If I eat grease I feel like I can sense it pooling on my skin and clogging up my pores, making my face oily and disgusting.. I want to be as clean as possible, as pure as possible, as composed as possible. And to sick-girl-brain, that means only eating CLEAN things.

Honestly, I've been teetering between trying really hard to cut out the ED before it gets worse, versus the overbearing desire to be THIN, pure, vulnerable. I just don't want any of the nasty side effects. My GI tract, teeth, bones, hair are fucked up enough as-is, I don't want more pain... Sorry for the long rant. TL;DR I guess I count halfway?

 

[broth0100]

My girlfriend's been telling me I'm developing an eating disorder, but I don't have a lot of restricting behaviors or anything... yet. I definitely have the "ana thoughts" if you will. I've become really compulsive about nutrition, calories, no fat, no cholesterol, bla bla bla. And the guilt after eating. I tried to purge once but couldn't manage it. I guess you could call me an orthorexic? But nobody calls you mentally ill in normie society for wanting to be healthy and shave weight. My OCD cleanliness compulsion is a factor as well. If I eat grease I feel like I can sense it pooling on my skin and clogging up my pores, making my face oily and disgusting.. I want to be as clean as possible, as pure as possible, as composed as possible. And to sick-girl-brain, that means only eating CLEAN things.

Honestly, I've been teetering between trying really hard to cut out the ED before it gets worse, versus the overbearing desire to be THIN, pure, vulnerable. I just don't want any of the nasty side effects. My GI tract, teeth, bones, hair are fucked up enough as-is, I don't want more pain... Sorry for the long rant. TL;DR I guess I count halfway?

Yea I kno tht in between place for sure …the wanting to avoid health issues but needing the comfort the ED gives :/ godspeed to u

 

[Manic Panic]

I have bulimia... it really fucking sucks .

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

I hate eating. When someone tells me I have an eating disorder I logically prove them wrong.

 

[willitpass]

Yes. It was anorexia, but seems to have evolved more into EDNOS, or maybe anorexia binge-purge subtype. I had semi recovered (ie weight restored but mentally still suffering) but have been worsening again.

 

[Hotsackage]

I'm genuinely curious and empathetic here, is it mostly just putting on weight and an image thing? Sending love

 

[willitpass]

I'm genuinely curious and empathetic here, is it mostly just putting on weight and an image thing? Sending love

It's such a complex issue. Some of it is a genuine terror of food and weight (in the case of restrictive EDs at least). But it is almost always rooted in poor self esteem, trauma, depression, a need for control, etc. On the surface it's just about numbers, but it goes so, so much deeper.

 

[Saturn_]

On and off, never purged and never binged, just behaviors that'd be most commonly attributed to anorexia. Even when I am not eating dangerously low amounts of food, I'm still restricting to like 1200. I can probably count on one hand the amount of times I've eaten over my TDEE in the past year, that's because I've scared myself away from it almost entirely. Ever since July, I've lost like 30 pounds, most of this being from two short periods of dangerously low restricting. A lot of it isn't even out of a desire to hurt myself at this point, I just feel disgusting whenever I eat around my TDEE or too much. I feel dirty.

 

[glossble]

Used to be on and off, but this time it's been going on for about 3 months already. Even while planning my CTB I stress about having some extra or "unnecessary" calories, like wtf girl just shut up and enjoy your last meals I really hate being a human, can't even eat without my brain fucking it up. Our bodies are already a veritable museum of evolutionary mistakes what a luck to also get a bingo of mental illnesses

 

[Hotsackage]

It's such a complex issue. Some of it is a genuine terror of food and weight (in the case of restrictive EDs at least). But it is almost always rooted in poor self esteem, trauma, depression, a need for control, etc. On the surface it's just about numbers, but it goes so, so much deeper.

I bet, wish you well

 

[lucyanne]

Currently at 16 stone from 22 in 1 year and a bit.

 

[Subhumano]

i dont

 

[AnonymousL]

I never got diagnosed.

Back when I was 17 (almost 10 years ago, rip) I lost 10kg in a month by fasting and not eating or throwing up when I did.
I was quite overweight.

Now I still have a bad relationship with food. I either eat too much or nothing at all.
The moment I allow myself to eat something I just cant stop?
But when I don't allow myself to eat anything at all I could go on for a day or 2

 

[bankai]

I love food too much. My life is an endless cycle of bulking and cutting. I go to the gym as well to lift weights. But it's mentally unhealthy as well as physically.

 

[failureofahuman]

Used to be "anorexic" in that I was underweight but probably more EDNOS because I binge ate once a week, then went into bulimia, self-explanatory, but my binges weren't that extreme