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UndyingPharaoh

UndyingPharaoh

New Member
Aug 25, 2025
4
I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that close friends I genuinely want to be around come by once in a blue moon and a lover is completely out of the question. It's just not in the cards for me. Every source I can find online that details coping with chronic loneliness stems from the idea of "leaning back on other people who will support you" but does anybody have an alternative for those who either don't have that option or just don't want to interact with those who want to interact with us? How can I live alone?
 
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offbalance

All I want is peace
Dec 16, 2021
253
I really don't have a concrete answer for you because loneliness is as unhealthy as cigarettes (so I hear). So I would advise you try to find someone, but as for advice on living alone, I would suggest self love and immersing yourself in hobbies. Learn to really love and appreciate yourself. It's hard though I feel it… sorry I don't have any other advice, that's the most immediate answer that came to mind. Also contempt for others helps me, but idk if I'd advise that. But it helps to see others shortcomings
 
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TBONTB

Elementalist
May 31, 2025
824
I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that close friends I genuinely want to be around come by once in a blue moon and a lover is completely out of the question. It's just not in the cards for me. Every source I can find online that details coping with chronic loneliness stems from the idea of "leaning back on other people who will support you" but does anybody have an alternative for those who either don't have that option or just don't want to interact with those who want to interact with us? How can I live alone?
Well, I don't know. I'm just making something up.

Do you go out? If so is it possible to go somewhere people are...not to make buddies with them but simply to be around humans. A park, a coffee shop, a gym, even a class or "meet-up"

If that's not what you are asking, if it's more, how do I get comfy with being alone...let's leave that to someone else.
 
Ethel

Ethel

Hi,I was once here too
Sep 10, 2024
67
I like to explore the world, be it virtual or irl

The sense of seeing new things brings peace and some hobbies like cooking and trying new foods make life a little more exciting
 
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Siegfrida

Member
Nov 21, 2021
25
I would say just go somewhere where you can hang out with people, but it depends on what's available around you and how good your health is... But there are things like group therapy, men's circles, women's circles, arts and crafts courses, Toastmasters meetings, dance classes, contact improvisation, theatre improvisation, people who go hiking together in order to make new friends, etc. It depends on what is interesting for you, but if you have at least a few interests, there is a good chance that at least one of them is something that people do together and that there are some meetings for that. But I know they are often hard to find because you have to know precisely what you are searching for.
Good luck from someone who's suffered from loneliness my whole life.
 
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Wrath

Wrath

Long live my dead dreams.
Dec 12, 2024
59
Everybody like me is already dead, dying, or in their room right now like me. I'm never finding them. At this point I don't think I can make friends with anyone that can even go outside like a normal person. They just wouldn't get it. That'll probably keep me friendless and loveless until my date, but if I can't find someone as broken as me, then I'd rather be alone than have to be around people who look at me like the freak I am.
My solution to dealing with loneliness is psychosis, absolute daydreaming delusions, and finding reasons to like staying inside. That's what I do, it's definitely not healthy, but with my autism or whatever I have, it's the only thing that seems to work.
There's really not a replacement for those things, if you're lacking it, there isn't really an alternative. It will be a hole to stay. Like being born without legs, everyone else has them, but you're never running a marathon no matter how hard you try, because there are no legs. I think that's what it's like sometimes.
 
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CumbriaCTB

CumbriaCTB

Member
Jul 15, 2025
74
Let me give you an answer that actually properly answers your question (doesn't involve talking to people, whether in-person or online, or even going outside): masturbation. No, really, I'm deathly serious. People like us don't have many options after all and so we're forced to cope the best we can.

I know from first-hand experience that loneliness just straight-up causes brain damage and that, even if you had hobbies before, you're eventually going to lose the capacity to enjoy anything that doesn't involve people in some way because your body is demanding that you go find people to continue the species with and won't let you enjoy anything else until you do. I'd say the only exception to this rule are certain types of Autistic people who lack any social instinct and can pursue their "special interest" alone without feeling lonely at all.

When you're genuinely lonely and socialising isn't an option, the only real long-term option, especially if you happen to be an extrovert like me, is some sort of chemical high to cover the pain. Obviously, I don't advise drugs/alcohol to achieve this chemical high as they will give you cancer and all sorts of health issues. Getting your body to make happy chemicals on it's own is obviously way healthier and, like I said earlier, our options are pretty limited.

Now, I don't know whether you're male or female (I speak as a woman here) but when you orgasm, whether with a partner or alone, your body produces tons of oxytocin (the love hormone) which, at least temporarily, makes you feel less lonely as your body can't tell the difference between that and actual sexual intercourse. Add a weighted blanket to the equation and it sends all the right signals to your body. Oh, and a slower build-up gives you a greater oxytocin release so take it nice and slow - try to relax a bit if you can. I personally can't make it work unless I'm wearing earphones and listening to spicy audio (r/GoneWildAudio) which I recommend as hearing a loving voice can do wonders for your monkey brain even if it is ultimately fake.

Another thing: you'll want to start learning to cook and eat healthy if you aren't eating a healthy diet already. A small amount of exercise (this can literally just be doing house chores quicker than you usually would) to get the blood pumping also helps. You'll want to do these things to increase your libido as the survival strategy here is to just start masturbating whenever you feel the loneliness getting too much.

Is it sad? Yeah, I felt pretty sad typing this and having my cope broken down into paragraphs on a screen makes me realise how fake it all is but, if it's any solace, I've managed to "play the social game" (pretending to be normal) and get people to like me before... it's all fake all as too (and takes soooo much more effort to maintain) which is why I gave up on that avenue. At the end of the day, do what you need to do to make the bad feelings go away... even if it is sad and fake.

Sincerely,
CumbriaCTB
 
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Fe(IV)

Fe(IV)

Back again.
Jun 27, 2023
439
I'm not going to say it's the best or it's a proper substitute, but informal/anon communties online where you have just enough human interaction but not too personal interactions.

So, forums like SaSu, reddit, large discord communities where you can pitch in whenever, large MMO guilds... It's still very lonely but it's just enough socialization for me to not completely lose my marbles.

Though, truth be told, I have asperger's so my natural connection-forming skills are unreliable, and that's why I resort to these alternative, low-stakes methods.
 
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slitwristsbleedcold

slitwristsbleedcold

burn for something, or fade into ashes - 14 bmi
Oct 15, 2024
23
I feel like sometimes, being alone isn't so bad, most connections are temporary and fake regardless

i reputate genuine connection only two people that speak and interact with each other out of pure likeness, and nothing else, as example a workplace forcing them to speak or it's awkward, thats fake for me

plus, if you're unhappy now, i don't think having someone will make you happy, right?

how to live alone? idk either, but first step is for sure to start relying on you and you only

i might be wrong, if so, sorry
 
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