Help How do you actually talk about your issues? Any tips?

[d-tea]

Hi, reposting this in the recovery forum because I initially didn't; I hope that's okay and won't have to be removed...


I've always struggled with expressing my feelings and not feeling ridiculous because I am aware that often times, they do not make sense.
Talking about it makes me cringe and I can't seem to get a word out; no matter how close to a person I am. I can't imagine how I'd bring it up with a professional.

I've managed to write down things in the moment, but I struggle with accessing and describing those feelings afterwards, I just can't seem to remember what was going on in my head. Additionally, I have somewhat learned to express myself in English, but struggle with doing so and being emotionally vulnerable while speaking my native language.

I've talked to a psychiatrist before but have only been able to explain my life circumstances (which are not bad at all) and physical symptoms like self harm, and they gained the impression that I was actually pretty stable when I was absolutely not, causing me to never go back after my first session because I tried to ctb shortly after.

How do you deal with this?

 

[FoxSauce]

Well I don't cope very well with them so I try using examples or analogies?

But i keep them mostly since I really don't understand them

 

[Holu]

I just meow at my cat until I feel slightly better. Not sure if that counts but it's something

 

[pone]

usually i just talk alone and save an mp3 audio or write it down while thinking about what could be made to improve the situation.
it helps me get myself together and think clearer most of the time.

I struggle with accessing and describing those feelings afterwards, I just can't seem to remember what was going on in my head.

yeah that happens to me sometimes too, feelings are hard to explain, i just do analogies about my problems, just like FoxSauce, they help me remember bc it acts like a keyphrase, idk how that works really well but it does...

 

[broken_stoic]

I've managed to write down things in the moment, but I struggle with accessing and describing those feelings afterwards, I just can't seem to remember what was going on in my head. Additionally, I have somewhat learned to express myself in English, but struggle with doing so and being emotionally vulnerable while speaking my native language.

It's a thing. For me it's strong enough I almost feel like I'm different people sometimes. One thing you might try is using the "emotion wheel" during one of your really bad times. You can also find any number of tracker apps that will help you track your emotions. "How we Feel" is one such app. If you are able to use that in concert with some kind of journaling it may start to help, but tbh I still struggle with this too.

I think to a certain extent it is a survival mechanism, just not always a helpful one for getting actual help later on.

 

[Rynalia]

My vote goes to journaling, if able.

I used to journal, not because I couldn't necessarily express myself, but I would often lose touch with reality when things got bad and I'd end up having a lot of blanks in my memory (and by extension, my life).

It made trying to make any real progress in recovery an absolute nightmare because there just wasn't a lot to work with.

So I started being around a small notebook (which then evolved into just using a phone, several years later) and just catalogued as much as I could after the fact to get enough context about anything that happened, in the event that I somehow avoided blacking out completely.

Where was I?
What time was it?
Who was there?
What happened?
How did I feel?
Why do I think I felt this way?
What did I do in response?

Questioning and keeping track of myself like this led to better understanding of habits and responses, and aided with processing rough emotions after extremely charged situations.

In the event that I go nonverbal during therapy, I could also simply provide them that information as well.

There were plenty of uses for the journal and the entries, and needless to say, it did help me a lot back then.

 

[wantingdignity]

Journaling might help. Psychiatrists usually only budget about 15 minutes per visit (at least in the US) and usually focus on the medical aspect. A therapist would be the one to talk to about why you are feeling a certain way and what's going on.

You can also look up a Feelings Wheel. They list a lot of different emotions underneath the big ones (for example, under Sad, you might find dejected, depressed, lonely, disappointed, etc). Articulating your feelings takes practice if you're not used to it, so be patient with yourself.

If it helps, you could start by writing what you are feeling today here!

 

[Pale_Rider]

This is the first place Ive been able to put my experiences / issues into words. Part of the problem with DID is the denial. It really does rip you to shreds. Now that I have a foothold into the DID that doubt is cast on others. I can hardly believe this stuff how can I expect others to? but I know its real. ( as "real" as you can expect from a dissociative lol ) that one therapist did a great job in forcing me to see it. Sometimes especially at first I really hated her for that. I really wanted to ctb, and resented them reviving me those years ago.

now I have an mental health appointment in a few days, and I am scared to death. The doubt comes back even though I know my medical files more then document my condition. Im scared, because yes I have a small foothold, but what else am I going to have to "learn" about myself? Im scared, because I have to keep a vgery tight wrap on my ctb fantasies.

If that wasnt enough the PTSD compounds the pain. I really am horrible broken. I know that, but I also know humans are horrible. Thats how I wound up broken.

 

[Rynalia]

This is the first place Ive been able to put my experiences / issues into words. Part of the problem with DID is the denial. It really does rip you to shreds. Now that I have a foothold into the DID that doubt is cast on others. I can hardly believe this stuff how can I expect others to? but I know its real. ( as "real" as you can expect from a dissociative lol ) that one therapist did a great job in forcing me to see it. Sometimes especially at first I really hated her for that. I really wanted to ctb, and resented them reviving me those years ago.

now I have an mental health appointment in a few days, and I am scared to death. The doubt comes back even though I know my medical files more then document my condition. Im scared, because yes I have a small foothold, but what else am I going to have to "learn" about myself? Im scared, because I have to keep a vgery tight wrap on my ctb fantasies.

If that wasnt enough the PTSD compounds the pain. I really am horrible broken. I know that, but I also know humans are horrible. Thats how I wound up broken.

The denial part (´;ω;`)

Like, am I faking all of this? Were my problems really that bad to cause this? Even when all the proof is in your face, the knee jerk reaction is to doubt more.

There is no winning, and a vast majority of MH providers aren't helping. But when one does it's TERRIFYING. Facing the beast of uncertainty and potentially things that could send you into a downward spiral even faster (if you weren't already).

Ugh, not fun times.

 

[d-tea]

The denial part (´;ω;`)

Like, am I faking all of this? Were my problems really that bad to cause this? Even when all the proof is in your face, the knee jerk reaction is to doubt more.

There is no winning, and a vast majority of MH providers aren't helping. But when one does it's TERRIFYING. Facing the beast of uncertainty and potentially things that could send you into a downward spiral even faster (if you weren't already).

Ugh, not fun times.

I remember the first time I called to make a therapy appointment, I didn't know what to say, felt like my heart was going to leave my chest, and I felt guilty as hell like I was a child doing something wrong and something I didn't need, like the therapist was going to be upset at me and I would be embarrassed because I actually am mentally completely stable and normal...
idk how I can handle that feeling again and the anticipation & sitting in the waiting room remembering what it ended in last time...

 

[usernamesarehard]

+1 for journaling

I write down a lot of stuff. Anytime anything emotional happens I write it down. I don't try to be grammatically correct or spell things properly. I just write what I feel. It's great. It gives me the ability to look back on events when I have a clear mind and think about things. Why did I feel that way? Was that how I actually felt? Was I in the right or wrong? And that reflection helps me with expressing myself and also growing and fixing issues.

Also a journal is really nice because it doesn't judge. I can say 'I plan on ctb because to me, life is pointless without my ex.' No one's going to tell me I'm wrong or dumb or say that's a stupid reason. I can just be honest. And I can go back and refine my thoughts until I understand why I feel what I feel. I think understanding WHY you feel a certain way is important if you want to communicate that to other people.