How do I learn to live with uncertainty

[bl33ding_heart]

I seriously can't stand not knowing things for certain. My mind will circle around them for days and drive me insane. I'd prefer to spare details. But there was this weird and sort of unexpected thing I came across today, and I was uncertain of things regarding it. It was triggering my bpd and driving me insane, and I've been feeling uneasy and very mentally unwell all day. I don't know what to do. Trying to seek out confirmation would be very difficult and likely impossible for me anyways as of now. And it wouldn't benefit me in the long run anyways. Sometimes you won't be 100% sure of things even if they are very emotionally taxing, and you have to get used to that. And learn to live with it. But how? It feels impossible, and I genuinely have no idea what to do. Bpd and ocd is truly a horrifying combination, because my ocd enhances the rumination of thoughts on the specific things that trigger my bpd.

 

[mutsu]

i wish i could offer you advice but i often struggle with the same, there is closure i never got from people and there are things i see sometimes that i wish i could know more about since they trigger my bpd, but asking or trying to find out more would be so incredibly awkward and at the rate that i split i would lose the few friends i still have,,,

uncertainty eats away at me until i eventually forget about it but that can take anywhere from days to months, usually months

i hope you can find ways to cope with the struggle, i wish you luck

 

[BradGuy123]

I am going through the same thing. I don't want to get too specific because I'm dealing with two major unknown things right now that are very nuanced and if I spelled them out anyone who knows me would be able to identify me. These two thing are major areas of my life that are uncertain. My mind keeps playing out all these scenarios in my head and the ones I dwell on are the most catastrophic outcomes. I'm trying to live in today (the outcome is not known yet - I don't have all the facts) and it is likely that the outcome of these situations won't be as bad as I am imagining them to be.

 

[coolcow1289]

I deal with it by making firm choices and sticking with them. Uncertainty can only get you if you entertain it. Just be certain.

 

[bl33ding_heart]

I am going through the same thing. I don't want to get too specific because I'm dealing with two major unknown things right now that are very nuanced and if I spelled them out anyone who knows me would be able to identify me. These two thing are major areas of my life that are uncertain. My mind keeps playing out all these scenarios in my head and the ones I dwell on are the most catastrophic outcomes. I'm trying to live in today (the outcome is not known yet - I don't have all the facts) and it is likely that the outcome of these situations won't be as bad as I am imagining them to be.

It's also making me play out fake scenarios in my head of unwanted outcomes coming true and making me so extremely paranoid. I hope you find some peace from your mental turmoil.

 

[diealegend24]

I think I'll be stuck with OCD until the day I leave this earth. Idk how to accept uncertainty.

 

[Mrs. T-800]

I take it two ways and I find both have helped me a lot.

1. The time will pass regardless ("this too shall pass")
2. I don't know what will come next, but I am curious what does

I literally got the second from a book on how to survive losing love. (In my case, I take it to mean a love of life). Okay, they got me with that chapter. "Aren't you just a little bit curious about what might happen next?"

The first helps me a lot. The next minute will come, and stuff will happen in them. The same for the hours, days, weeks... just keep to repeat it.

Are there any low-stakes things you can begin with? Or, if not improve on over time, manage uncertainty about so you can make use of coping skills? Like, not answering texts for a few hours (if someone truly needs you, they will call you, or find a way) or leaving a grocery list at home and choosing on the fly what you need?