Discussion how do i kill myself without making my girlfriend upset

[idkddie]

i love her so much but i make her miserable. i've been having a very rough time mentally lately and she tries to help and does amazing but there's nothing that can really be done to fix me and i see how much that hurts her. she's cried so many times today and i haven't cried once. i feel so anxious and scared i cant even maintain eye contact for more than a few seconds and can hardly get myself to say or do anything other than sit here. i just want her to be free to live her life without me as a burden weighing her down and making her sad but how do i do it?

 

[hurts2b]

You can't. You can't control how others feel. I know it's hard but if she loves you she'll grieve.

 

[TheCavernousDeep.]

i love her so much but i make her miserable. i've been having a very rough time mentally lately and she tries to help and does amazing but there's nothing that can really be done to fix me and i see how much that hurts her. she's cried so many times today and i haven't cried once. i feel so anxious and scared i cant even maintain eye contact for more than a few seconds and can hardly get myself to say or do anything other than sit here. i just want her to be free to live her life without me as a burden weighing her down and making her sad but how do i do it?

Seems like an unsolvable problem unfortunately. Are there any nice things about being with her? Maybe any things she says she thinks is nice about being with you?

 

[supersigmagoregirl]

i feel like if you killed yourself, it would only make her sadder. if she was truly and completely miserable with you there would be no relationship anymore but she is choosing to stay and maybe that says a lot. breaking up is an option but it doesn't seem like you want that so for the sake of her and your relationship think about the things that brought you two together and the things that bring you guys joy

 

[idkddie]

Seems like an unsolvable problem unfortunately. Are there any nice things about being with her? Maybe any things she says she thinks is nice about being with you?

everything about being with her is nice. she's kind, gentle, and patient. but i have no redeeming qualities, at least not any i see or believe no matter how much she tells me. what isn't nice is everything else in my life. this is the only thing keeping me from going through with it because i don't want to hurt her but i'm also tired of being hurt myself. i can't help but think i should break up with her or sabotage our relationship so i can let her be free, but i also know she has her own mental issues and would probably end it too if i'm not here.

it sucks. i'm stuck in what i've come to realize is a very codependent relationship that probably isn't healthy for either of us but we also love each other too much and there's no way out that doesn't cause someone pain. i also know my parents would blame her so much for it. sometimes i think we should just go out together, but i don't think she'd be very receptive to that, and ultimately it's not what i want for her either. i wish i could turn back time and have never met her. not cause i don't love her, but so that i wouldn't cause her so much turmoil.

 

[astaroth81]

You have to decide which is worse the pain of you continuing to live or the pain it will cause her if you're gone.

People say cbt is selfish but as to are those who try to keep us here where we continue to suffer endlessly.

 

[daemos]

If you're going this route, you have to accept that if you leave you will leave people behind, consequently the people who love you will miss you and will absolutely be devastated. Now to be the devil's advocate, when you're gone you won't even know it anyway, and thus won't even have the capacity to care. The world keeps spinning. What you could do is pretend for a little while that everything is fine, be happy, laugh, do it for like a week or two, keep the facade up. Then breakup with her for whatever reason you see fit, you suddenly like men, you suddenly don't like her face, you're moving out of the country, .....