Venting How do i accept dying alone

[TealBunny]

Im genuinely so exausted and I feel like i just lost whatever few close friends I had pretty much this week and im still in the debating/almost fully committed phases of deciding to kill myself
The only issues are that I cant muster up the energy to get the things I need to kill myself finally or accept ill be dying by myself, I know there's relatively painless ways but I wish I could be comforted and soothed while I go and thats the only thing that feels like is holding me back, I just want to be held and told its okay I just want the affection I never got as a kid and to feel that before I die but I know its never going to happen.
How to I accept im going to kill myself and rot alone like I did in life

 

[R. A.]

this is a big deterrent for me too and many others. that in order to escape suffering, i have to suffer in a way and to a degree the likes of which i have never experienced and can only imagine the intensity - and i have to do that by myself. ugh
insufficient spiritual hug

 

[Dejected 55]

I wish I weren't dying alone... but if I weren't dying alone it would mean I had a chance to live without being alone... and I do not have that chance... so it's easier for me to accept dying alone because I am already alone and at least dying means it will soon be over. That's something to look forward to, the only thing to look forward to in my life.

 

[fedup1982]

Im genuinely so exausted and I feel like i just lost whatever few close friends I had pretty much this week and im still in the debating/almost fully committed phases of deciding to kill myself
The only issues are that I cant muster up the energy to get the things I need to kill myself finally or accept ill be dying by myself, I know there's relatively painless ways but I wish I could be comforted and soothed while I go and thats the only thing that feels like is holding me back, I just want to be held and told its okay I just want the affection I never got as a kid and to feel that before I die but I know its never going to happen.
How to I accept im going to kill myself and rot alone like I did in life

I'm sorry you're going through this.

I have to, unfortunately, break some bad news for you. Dying is HARD. Especially in countries where they cruely do everything they can to make it so. And the dying alone bit is part of their strategy. Unless you're willing to have people you care about charged with manslaughter or murder, you have to die alone. And that alone is not easy, even excluding the fear of death and going through with a very very tough method.

The only solution is moving to a country that supports euthanasia tourism like Belgium or Switzerland and jumping through their safeguarding hurdles which can take a lot of time and money with no guarantee of success, but at least those professionals make sure you're comfortable and can spend your final hours with loved ones. I just wish everyone had this possibility. It's been proven that abuse is rare or non existent.

 

[Pale_Rider]

I read somewhere dying people feel abandonment, because nobody can go with them. In that sense we all die alone.

 

[dontwakemeup]

I can only suggest you call a close friend after you complete your method. Just inform your friend your not feeling well and act normal on the phone. The only thing with this advice is depending on the method you risk that friend calling for help for you.

During my methods, I never called anyone. I was terrified it would work and they would call for help. You can always post on here so you don't feel so lonely. I'm truly sorry you feel like this.

 

[Pale_Rider]

I was alone, knew [ or thought I was alone ] when I ctb, and was just fine with that. When I was young in my teens that bothered me. Just very hardened now. Life goes on.