inviro04
Member
- Mar 21, 2023
- 12
HMU in dms if you wanna talk to someone, feeling chatty anytime for anyone abt anything!
I have several thoughts and would love to connect with you, no matter what you have to add--
I need to exchange rambling with someone on these topics... it is driving me mad (•_•)
For referance its been two yrs since I posted here and now I am 20y/o and life is a very hard chore. i feel like my mind is so fragile like it is going to burst soon, just 2 hours ago I felt deeply suicidal and lonely again, which is why I thought of this site again.
deep trauma in our societies and noone talks about topics like on this site
My nervous system is messed up and my sanity is always at a brink of pouring over. I have little trust, and our shared reality is all of us simply believing what we are shown and told.
The people who have experienced deep levels of betrayal as a kid are bound to have these symptoms that seem incurable and rather something you must learn to deal with, but most don't... you see a huge number of world leaders and other people in our society with HUGE power over others, showing all these symptoms: low-self-worth, distrust of strangers or the unknown, emotional immaturity, thinking only of oneself;
Low self-worth affects ability to pursue love or even friends
I fall deeply in love once every blue moon and cannot even give someone as little as a kiss, but hold such deep pining for them.
Like I build this love deep in my soul and when I don't show them any sign and they don't even reject me, but just leave- this storm which i had piled up on my own awakens and destroys me for almost a year now.
And I vary from really wanting love- to knowing I am a wreck and never want to put another through my way of life, be it a future child included. Like I am such a drag I annoy myself at my own baggage
The way I see myself is a self-fulfilling prophecy and no one is going to come along and fix me and that sucks but its ok the world is also broken, and no one fixes her.
What is going on in this world? ಠ_ಠ
The world is in a dire state and there is no saving it, since leaders have decided- yes profit over community and life.
capitalism is just an equation that makes no sense whatsoever... if you are a human on this planet, that is??? The only conclusion I come to when I think of this, please don't take me for a conspiracy theorist- but the only thing that would make sense of a sociopathic trillionaire to commence with their plans of further sucking our soil dry for money, is that they don't live on earth anymore, or they think they don't. Soil is alive too. Quite literally it holds our ancestors and dead plants who fertilize it with nutrients for us. It is all a cycle, which we are destroying and are being punished for it, but we are all too lost in the sauce.
They must be on mars or something, because with common knowledge- research on how this is going to end up, they do not give a single fuck about this earth, so they must be using us all as slaves, to build their life somewhere out of this atmosphere bro.
now I do not really believe it is mars per se or another planet... I think...I hope, but this is the only thing that would make sense, they are acting like they don't also live here???
What is the plan? Because no way the plan is just capitol, there must be a deeper goal, and I cannot conclude what it is. Now I do know these are all irrelevant on a cosmic scale, but we humans are made to feel all this, for what reason I wonder.
I realise that we live in modern day hell, every single deadly sin is becoming more hyperbolic than ever seen before through the internet. Pornography is brain rotting and the amounts of misinformation from controlling governments are also a terrible factor. Everything is done by design for profit but at the end it's for our fastened demise in the messiest way?
it's like every step in humanity is just another terrible case of two sides to one coin and we keep falling into it. I guess it's just how it goes with us. Don't even get me started on AI it's like we want to destroy ourselves, we are doing our best at becoming soulless it hurts me so much when I see all the deliberate pain inflicted on ourselves it makes no sense at all, when I think of all this it makes me squint and bite my nails bloody.
we humans are so complex and faulted beings, we should be studying each other, trying to prevent ourselves from consuming ourselves.
I believe we focus too much time on things that harm us for profit. I would love to hear anyone's feelings on these subjects because I know I am not alone in this.
Hope my writing isnt too confusing I like to ramble
I have several thoughts and would love to connect with you, no matter what you have to add--
I need to exchange rambling with someone on these topics... it is driving me mad (•_•)
For referance its been two yrs since I posted here and now I am 20y/o and life is a very hard chore. i feel like my mind is so fragile like it is going to burst soon, just 2 hours ago I felt deeply suicidal and lonely again, which is why I thought of this site again.
deep trauma in our societies and noone talks about topics like on this site
My nervous system is messed up and my sanity is always at a brink of pouring over. I have little trust, and our shared reality is all of us simply believing what we are shown and told.
The people who have experienced deep levels of betrayal as a kid are bound to have these symptoms that seem incurable and rather something you must learn to deal with, but most don't... you see a huge number of world leaders and other people in our society with HUGE power over others, showing all these symptoms: low-self-worth, distrust of strangers or the unknown, emotional immaturity, thinking only of oneself;
Low self-worth affects ability to pursue love or even friends
I fall deeply in love once every blue moon and cannot even give someone as little as a kiss, but hold such deep pining for them.
Like I build this love deep in my soul and when I don't show them any sign and they don't even reject me, but just leave- this storm which i had piled up on my own awakens and destroys me for almost a year now.
And I vary from really wanting love- to knowing I am a wreck and never want to put another through my way of life, be it a future child included. Like I am such a drag I annoy myself at my own baggage
The way I see myself is a self-fulfilling prophecy and no one is going to come along and fix me and that sucks but its ok the world is also broken, and no one fixes her.
What is going on in this world? ಠ_ಠ
The world is in a dire state and there is no saving it, since leaders have decided- yes profit over community and life.
capitalism is just an equation that makes no sense whatsoever... if you are a human on this planet, that is??? The only conclusion I come to when I think of this, please don't take me for a conspiracy theorist- but the only thing that would make sense of a sociopathic trillionaire to commence with their plans of further sucking our soil dry for money, is that they don't live on earth anymore, or they think they don't. Soil is alive too. Quite literally it holds our ancestors and dead plants who fertilize it with nutrients for us. It is all a cycle, which we are destroying and are being punished for it, but we are all too lost in the sauce.
They must be on mars or something, because with common knowledge- research on how this is going to end up, they do not give a single fuck about this earth, so they must be using us all as slaves, to build their life somewhere out of this atmosphere bro.
now I do not really believe it is mars per se or another planet... I think...I hope, but this is the only thing that would make sense, they are acting like they don't also live here???
What is the plan? Because no way the plan is just capitol, there must be a deeper goal, and I cannot conclude what it is. Now I do know these are all irrelevant on a cosmic scale, but we humans are made to feel all this, for what reason I wonder.
I realise that we live in modern day hell, every single deadly sin is becoming more hyperbolic than ever seen before through the internet. Pornography is brain rotting and the amounts of misinformation from controlling governments are also a terrible factor. Everything is done by design for profit but at the end it's for our fastened demise in the messiest way?
it's like every step in humanity is just another terrible case of two sides to one coin and we keep falling into it. I guess it's just how it goes with us. Don't even get me started on AI it's like we want to destroy ourselves, we are doing our best at becoming soulless it hurts me so much when I see all the deliberate pain inflicted on ourselves it makes no sense at all, when I think of all this it makes me squint and bite my nails bloody.
we humans are so complex and faulted beings, we should be studying each other, trying to prevent ourselves from consuming ourselves.
I believe we focus too much time on things that harm us for profit. I would love to hear anyone's feelings on these subjects because I know I am not alone in this.
Hope my writing isnt too confusing I like to ramble
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