DeathOfaUnicorn
A Real Life Unicorn
- Mar 7, 2025
- 7
Hi people, I'm back - not that anyone knows me, I'm just saying that I have fallen back in here.
I used to be in this website like months ago, maybe last year, and at some point I was heavily considering committing suicide until I realised I wouldn't be able to because exit bags wouldn't really work for me at the moment.
Until now I have been 'recovering', sort of. I still feel depressed, I have not been going to class, but I did go to a psychiatrist, tomorrow's my second appointment.
As of now, it has been two months since I've gone to class. For context, I have been held back a year, so I'm supposed to be retaking it again - but I just can't find it in myself to go back or make an effort.
I had been given antidepressants, but they just don't have any effect on me, I may Just ask for a stronger dose tomorrow. I have also been reconsidering my plan, might just hang myself with a belt, even if it hurts.
I can't enjoy anything anymore, just a second ago i was on a call with someone I would Consider my best friend, but I just don't feel much joy about it, I don't feel heard either. I tried to speak while she showed me drawings and all, but I feel like she was ignoring me - maybe on accident, she's a great person, the best I know. But again, while I had been on a severe depressive episode I had cut off all my friendships, so we kind of grew a bit apart. I'm trying to make an effort to reconnect, but clearly she has found better friends.
And I have lost mine, all my other friends who graduated moved outside the city and got jobs and careers, and I am still here because of my own mistakes, and remaking them again. I'm such a disappointment to my family, such hardworking people, so intelligent and confident, to have a such a letdown of a child.
I have never felt as alone as I am now
I wish I were A bird
Sorry
I used to be in this website like months ago, maybe last year, and at some point I was heavily considering committing suicide until I realised I wouldn't be able to because exit bags wouldn't really work for me at the moment.
Until now I have been 'recovering', sort of. I still feel depressed, I have not been going to class, but I did go to a psychiatrist, tomorrow's my second appointment.
As of now, it has been two months since I've gone to class. For context, I have been held back a year, so I'm supposed to be retaking it again - but I just can't find it in myself to go back or make an effort.
I had been given antidepressants, but they just don't have any effect on me, I may Just ask for a stronger dose tomorrow. I have also been reconsidering my plan, might just hang myself with a belt, even if it hurts.
I can't enjoy anything anymore, just a second ago i was on a call with someone I would Consider my best friend, but I just don't feel much joy about it, I don't feel heard either. I tried to speak while she showed me drawings and all, but I feel like she was ignoring me - maybe on accident, she's a great person, the best I know. But again, while I had been on a severe depressive episode I had cut off all my friendships, so we kind of grew a bit apart. I'm trying to make an effort to reconnect, but clearly she has found better friends.
And I have lost mine, all my other friends who graduated moved outside the city and got jobs and careers, and I am still here because of my own mistakes, and remaking them again. I'm such a disappointment to my family, such hardworking people, so intelligent and confident, to have a such a letdown of a child.
I have never felt as alone as I am now
I wish I were A bird
Sorry
