Venting Having suicidal friends is weird like I don’t want them to die but I want to die and get upset when people try to stop me…

[barelyhere]

My friend is suicidal. Didn't tell me anything. But messaged our other friend who sent me the screenshots not knowing what to do. We tried to call and text. No answer.Me and the friend were on call just silent. I could hear my friend crying. But trying to conceal it. I asked if he's ok. He said he's fine. But he's not . I know he's not.

It's difficult. I don't want my friend to die. I know if he dies I'm going to have a breakdown. I've already had someone die by suicide I can't deal with another one.

Am I crazy why are my morals so weird.

 

[Zetsubou]

I understand your feelings. I think it's a form of selfishness, but that doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing. Human beings are just complex creatures and it's normal to react this way.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

I mean you're trying to do to them what you wouldn't want them to do to you. It's a little weird, and kinda hypocritical. It is understandable, though.

I guess at this point you can ask why they are suicidal and try to solve their problems so they no longer are. Actions do speak louder than words.

 

[noonipie]

i dont think that makes you crazy. it's only natural. just try to be there for him if you can, emotionally and physically. it goes a long way.

 

[Octavia]

Some people are more concerned when bad things happen to others than when they happen to themselves.

 

[lostintheloop]

I don't think it's weird , after all I'm assuming you're 'pro choice' not 'pro suicide'. There is nothing wrong with wanting your friend to live, wanting them to be happy and safe. I think it'd be more weird if you didn't care. It's kind of like if you had a terminally ill family member and you choose DNR. You don't want them to die, it still hurts like hell but you do it because you know they're in pain.

You can still support them and listen to them, if they allow you, without pushing them either way. If they messaged your other friend, it is possible they're undecided on ctb. If they still have some hope, then it's not hypocritical to help them explore alternative options, such as recovery support. For example, I believe suicide is my only option and also the only option for some people. But that's only because i've tried recovery and i know my situation won't change. BUT i also believe that for some people recovery is possible. I respect that for many of us, ctb is the logical answer but for others there are other answers.

I'm not saying push them into anything, support or otherwise. But if they're open to it, you can help them understand their options either way so they can make their decision. Some suicidal people do want someone to step in and help them. Maybe explore if your friend wants that first. You can offer that support without forcing it on them. E.g - asking do you want someone to listen or someone to help keep you safe from your thoughts or just someone to respect your choice etc.

If they're decided on ctb you can simultaneously respect their decision whilst also feeling hurt by it. We don't choose our feelings.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think I'd feel the same. We're only human at the end of the day. We crave connections and we're sad when we lose them. I messaged someone here quite a bit and we became as close as you annonymously can somewhere like this. Then, all went quiet. I know she was close to doing it. I can only presume she went ahead with it. I have such mixed emotions. I still miss her but I know I need to be grateful for her- that she's free now and at peace- I presume. I think we probably do want them to stay for our sake- which is selfish but also kind of natural. Still, at the same time- we have to respect their freedom to choose. I hope you can either find a way to help your friend, or, to make peace with them going.

 

[FuneralCry]

After all if those people want to ctb then that's their decision and nobody else should have any right to interfere in that. I do understand that death is sad and upsetting for many people, but nobody is obligated to suffer in this world even if it makes other people sad. Grief and loss are just a part of existing here, and yes it would be hypocritical to try and interfere against a persons wishes when you wouldn't like it if someone did that to you.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

It's difficult. I don't want my friend to die. I know if he dies I'm going to have a breakdown. I've already had someone die by suicide I can't deal with another one.

It works the same way when it's someone you're in love with.

 

[Life interrupted]

There is nothing wrong with you. It's normal to feel that way

 

[Nathan2]

Look your friends and you are keeping each other stable. Sure your life might suck but your in this togheter with them mate. I would suggest dont become the reason for people too comit cbt. Dont drag them down mentaly but try too support them. They probably need it. (adressing some of the other comments its not selfishness i would say its the opposite you activly chose how hard it might be too care for someone when they needed you)

 

[Lost Magic]

I understand. It's difficult to talk to someone up close and personal who is suicidal, especially if you feel that way too

 

[betternever2havbeen]

I was just typing a reply when I realised the thread is a couple months old. Do you have any update OP? I hope your friend is doing better now. It sounded like it might have been a cry for help since he contacted a friend, I hope that's what it was and he's ok now.