Venting Having people care about you feels like a burden

[Leonard_Bangley39]

I mean this when i say i genuinely cannot understand why people care for me. At times, all i want to do is disappear from the face of the earth and rot away. But i can't because there are people who love me and won't be able to handle it if i die. All i do is hurt those around me and yet they still care about me. it just makes me hate myself even more and want to die

 

[spiders.in.my.head]

I feel you. im in a similar struggle. i feel like im such a nuisance tho, and i dint understand why anyone except for my family cares. (for family i kinda at least understand, years of bonding and whatever)

 

[Forever Sleep]

It's strange to think that being cared for can be a burden but I agree, it can. I think that's the unfortunate thing about life in general- that we build up sometimes many codependent relationships effectively. Maybe not in day to day living but definitely when it comes to suicide. We often know we can't do it without deeply hurting others.

 

[a.hamza.13]

I'm in a similar situation and this the reason why I couldn't CTB until now even after having SN. I want my family to hate me and abandon me. I cannot face this disrespect and humiliation anymore. I just want to disappear from this hell like I never existed. If it happens I'll be dead in a few days. This is my last wish and I'm so desperately want it to happen.

 

[inkmage333]

I feel this a lot too :( I know there's a few that care but none of that stops the way I feel. Dare I say it makes me feel worse, because I want everyone to stop caring about me so I can finally go without regrets. I mean, it's not like I'll feel regrets after I die, but still I hurt everyone and drag everyone down. They keep denying it, but I know the truth.

It's like I'm pressured to be someone worth caring for and it feels horrible because I know I'll disappoint them in the end. Especially since almost all my relatives and friends are better than I am in every way.