Constantly. It hurts me so much to know that there is so much that I have never achieved and never will be able to achieve, and its all because of the circumstances of my birth; the poverty I grew up in, my severe autism and ADHD, my unfathomably mentally ill parents, the severe trauma I have as a result of constant bullying, etc. Graduating HS? Never happened, I dropped out. Friends? Never had any. Parties? Never went. Vacations? None.
I'd be able to come to terms with it if I was one of those people who thinks life simpliciter is bad, but I'm not. On the contrary, what hurts me is precisely seeing how much I am missing out on, how much better everybody else has it, how miserable my own life is in comparison; I live in the greatest time to be alive. There have been times where Ive been convinced that I must have been some kind of mass murdering maniac in a past life to deserve a fate this bad. The only thing I want is to be reincarnated as who I've always wanted to be. I guess the only positive thing I can say is that I spend very little time regretting any of my decisions, as I was born in a proverbial coffin. My best decisions did not do much to make my life any better, and my worst decisions didn't make it a whole lot worse than it already was.