Venting hate my roommate

[fuyuu]

i don't necessarily hate her as a person, but all her living habits frustrate me to an unbelievable degree. depression and anxiety leaves me feeling like im on a breaking point all the time already, and her presence in the room makes me want to just open the window and jump out. she wants lights out hours before i'm ready to go to bed, plays white noise at night (which i absolutely can't stand), and never wears earbuds when listening or watching things on her phone. i've tried communicating with her, compromising, etc, but in the end she doesn't listen and does her own thing. if i leave a light on or open the door to go use the restroom at night, she'll wake up and complain the next morning. most of the dorm's conditions are already bad and having to live with her is exhausting as fuck. im too tired to leave the room a lot of the time, and the one time i stayed to study and relax at a boba shop i got asked to leave after two hours (understandable, but still kind of put me off).
im too on guard around other people so i haven't been able to sleep more than 3-4 hours a night or cry it out. its such a suffocating feeling - like there's sobs caught in my throat or the back of my eyeballs ache but nothing can come out. sometimes i just go under my bed to self harm or just stare at the stupid chipping paint on the wall. my chest hurts and my head hurts. i wanna go home

sorry, just a long rant. thanks for reading. also just read today that male puppies will let the female ones win when playing together. very cute fact ^^

 

[U. A.]

I'm assuming you're in scholastic dormitories. Can you ask to change rooms? Students often leave or have things not work out. You shouldn't be stuck there.

 

[Pale_Rider]

That does sound like a nightmare. Can really wear on you over time too. Hopefully the second comment will help you.

 

[Blue&Grey]

Also a cafe shouldnt care how much you stay there pls ask to move rooms as well and maybe find a cafe and become a regular, there is like a cafe place next to me where a lot of people with laptops go to study. I live in an accomodation as well in a studio maybe see if next year you can move with somone else and pay less in an actual apartment. I have found some places in the Uk. I live in london.