Discussion Has anything changed about your life this last year.

[Zailian]

I'm genuinely curious, has this year gotten even a little better for anyone? Are you happier, more at peace, or moving in a better direction? Or did things actually get worse for you? What changed, if anything?
I'd really like to hear how this year treated you, honestly.

 

[HighFlight]

My wife got cancer. So life was a little tough for us in 2025. She's still in treatment, but maybe the second half of2026 will be better.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Other than I had expected, this year has been the best year for me since my downfall started 5-6 years ago. I feel generally better and hardly suicidal anymore. I also enjoy doing some things again. However, the core issue isn't solved and that's why this recovery process is fragile.

 

[Forever Sleep]

It's been another year of treading water when I needed to. I did my work and got paid for it. I've slipped further down though definitely. I care even less about life so- I've neglected myself, my health/ fitness, my diet, my living environment.

I care less about making a profit with my job (I'm freelance.) I never was very business minded but now, I'm pretty much just been wreckless- because I hate the accountancy side of it. Corpses don't need pensions! So long as I can sustain myself a few more years, I figure I'm in the clear.

I feel less guilt about shirking chores. I guess my resentment at having been born and being expected to pay for the 'privelage' is also starting to seep out now, during times of stress. A few unpleasant arguments this year.

I'm just so ready to go. Perhaps no more than last year maybe though. I suppose I'm still managing to hold myself in this weird limbo but, it's becoming harder for sure. I don't know whether it's just that I'm telling myself I can keep going or, whether I truly can. I guess time will tell.

 

[darksouls]

my health condition has worsened

 

[FoxSauce]

...mentally better Ig. Well working still and well dunno.

 

[FuneralCry]

No, I'd just never be at peace with something as evil as existence that causes endless amounts of harm and suffering, all that existence does is torture existing beings, existence is the problem and I find it really terrible and dreadful how humans punish others by forcing them into existence and causing all this futile, unnecessary suffering as a result.

No matter what I'd never wish to be conscious of anything at all and I wish I never suffered more than anything, existence is a punishment that is only suffering and what is horrific to me is how a human can suffer for decades longer just to face the agony and torture of old age, denying painless death is a crime to me, I always suffer from being trapped in this prison anti-suicide world, for me non-existence is just the only peace, it's all I see as desirable and positive.

 

[Unlucky777]

Yes, actually, a LOT has changed in my life, for the better within the last year. But yeah I still wanna CTB at times. I'm happier, more at peace with myself, and my life is heading in the right direction again. Let's list them.

1. The most important one is I cut all contact with my covert narcissist ex. 11 months of no contact has helped me regain my sanity and my sense of self. Still struggling with my sense of self worth that was destroyed by narc ex but it will come back slowly. This was an emotionally abusive relationship that lasted 13 years with lots of gaslighting, emotional manipulation, infidelity, and too much other shit to mention.

2. Ketamine therapy - after over a decade of being on toxic antipsychotics meds that destroyed my life and my soul, I stopped taking those God damn meds July 18th 2024 and finally am receiving ketamine therapy, which is a God send in my healing journey.

3. Moved back to NJ - I'm close to my friends and family now again. I was very isolated in NY for various reasons.

4. I'm working out and am the healthiest I've ever been. I lost over 40 lbs that I gained from those God damn fucking psych meds. I will never take another psych med for any reason. I'd rather die I think.

5. I'm going back to school now to study audio engineering and music production. I'm passionate about music production and I lost my way because of the relationship I was in and my love for making music is returning again.

6. My brain is healing from all the damage done by the meds. It's been a slow and gruesome process with lots of frustrations and severe withdrawal symptoms from the post acute withdrawal symptoms but I survived the worst of it and that shit is behind me now.

7. I'm starting to mend the relationships that were destroyed by being in relationship wit my ex. Making a few new friends but TBH I see clearly now how my relationships were destroyed by narc ex.

8. Financial recovery - I'm finally beginning to recover financially from all the past financial mistakes I made as a result of being on toxic meds and losing my god damn mind.

9. Mental, emotional, psychological, physical, spiritual CLARITY. This is probably the biggest one. I have clarity now that was missing all those years I was in the toxic relationship. It took over a year but I finally see things for what they are.

Lots of other things changed also but these are the major ones. I have no idea how I survived this last year as all I wanted to do was CTB.