Discussion Has anyone here found a reason to want to live?

[aeoliandawn]

I'd really like to know, I posted this under this section because I really want to see how someone actually recovers, I'm having a hard time finding a reason to want to live, not to live per se, but to want to, these are two different things

 

[SoCloseSoFar]

My cat. That's about it

 

[aeoliandawn]

Ngl fair point, good for you buddy

 

[returntothestars]

I've lived with suicidal ideation since childhood and I would consider my list to always be changing.

With that being said, part of my list looks like this: My cats (I have four), loved ones, all of the books that I have yet to read, the new Hunger Games movie that I need to see when it comes out, and the eventual release of ConcernedApe's new video game 'Haunted Chocolatier'

Anything can be a reason to live as long as you feel like it fulfills your soul in some way.

 

[flowerbomb]

Still struggling... but: my family

 

[Autumn Blaze]

Mainly friends I have, but my connections with them sometimes seem so fragile that it's really hard to keep going. That's about it.

 

[Bishop]

Spite. My father whom I abhor. I want to see him gone first.

 

[Celerity]

In my most idealist moments, I hope I can help people. There is plenty wrong with the world that needs fixing. Right now, the do-gooder treadmill I'm running as a nursing student is serving me well. It really does make my day when I'm able to improve somebody's lot. Eventually, I expect the shine will wear off as it does for all joyful things. And of course, the threat of fucking up and hurting someone by mistake hangs over all of us in healthcare.

My (very distant) backup is the possibility of finding love. I can still remember the high of it. The idea both scares and excites me. I felt like I was losing my mind, all rational priorities thrown to the wayside for the sake of her - or who I dreamed her to be in any case. Not sure if I ever want to risk such a derailing of my thought processes again.

 

[broken serenity]

A reason to want to live, like something that inspires passion, rather than just some logical reasoning?

 

[brazilianautistic]

Besides meds and therapy, people say having friends helps a lot. Other than that, having genuine hobbies/passions, something that makes it all "worth it." So I'm doing reverse thinking: I want to keep posting all of my projects online and I want more people to know me, my neighbors, ppl on the street, my followers, and then I'll CBT. Just don't know when that is. So now if something/someone is bothering me I just think "well I'll die anyways, how fun will it be for them to find that out." xP

 

[sireb_b]

I wouldn't say I have found a specific answer as to why I shouldn't CTB, or why I should live. Part of it is that permanent choices scare me, but I also cannot handle the idea of people I care about hurting because of me. It's a stupid reason, particularly when you still feel lonely af and feel like everyone secretly hates you. But it's what got me through the worst I think.

 

[aeoliandawn]

A reason to want to live, like something that inspires passion, rather than just some logical reasoning?

Any would work

Besides meds and therapy, people say having friends helps a lot. Other than that, having genuine hobbies/passions, something that makes it all "worth it." So I'm doing reverse thinking: I want to keep posting all of my projects online and I want more people to know me, my neighbors, ppl on the street, my followers, and then I'll CBT. Just don't know when that is. So now if something/someone is bothering me I just think "well I'll die anyways, how fun will it be for them to find that out." xP

Quais são os seus projetos amg?

I wouldn't say I have found a specific answer as to why I shouldn't CTB, or why I should live. Part of it is that permanent choices scare me, but I also cannot handle the idea of people I care about hurting because of me. It's a stupid reason, particularly when you still feel lonely af and feel like everyone secretly hates you. But it's what got me through the worst I think.

Yeah, that makes sense
If I could just test it to see if I like it enough, it would help a lot.
But yeah, it's a permanent decision indeed

In my most idealist moments, I hope I can help people. There is plenty wrong with the world that needs fixing. Right now, the do-gooder treadmill I'm running as a nursing student is serving me well. It really does make my day when I'm able to improve somebody's lot. Eventually, I expect the shine will wear off as it does for all joyful things. And of course, the threat of fucking up and hurting someone by mistake hangs over all of us in healthcare.

My (very distant) backup is the possibility of finding love. I can still remember the high of it. The idea both scares and excites me. I felt like I was losing my mind, all rational priorities thrown to the wayside for the sake of her - or who I dreamed her to be in any case. Not sure if I ever want to risk such a derailing of my thought processes again.

Ngl I might try to use that do-gooder mentality, I'm also in the health department, tho it's further from patients than nursing (I'm majoring in pharmaceuticals)
Maybe if I can help someone, anyone, my life wouldn't be that worthless.
The love thing could work too, tho I kinda lost hope in finding someone to love and be loved. I still live with my parents (unfortunately) and they are really clear that they despise the idea of having a lesbian daughter, I've been trying to fight the urge of being with a girl for them, but, unfortunately, it's in my nature. The only great thing is that no girl hits on me, so I dont have the burden of rejecting someone I'm actually attracted too.
The thought of never being able to be with someone I actually love haunts me and makes me wanna actually do it sooner

 

[NamelessEntity]

I've always had thoughts about CTB, but things were a lot easier when I had a cat. I didn't want to CTB and leave my cat behind. There was far less loneliness, especially while being stuck at home and spending a lot of time in bed due to disability. She lived to be 20 years old and had a good life.

Getting another cat would be wonderful, but it isn't possible due to my current living situation.

 

[yura]

My parents…..
My big brother died last year, and my father is feeling pretty bad
So, i will ctb after they're dead, i can't put them through another son's death

 

[Reeincarnation]

My Dog, I rescued her from a shelter, she had quite a troublesome life. I feel it's not fair for her to finally find a place where she feels safe and loved, only for her owner to kill herself and cause her more suffering, again. Besides that I have no other reason to want to stay alive. It's very conflicting :(.

 

[whywere]

Well let's see:
1) Traveling and meeting new people, cultures
2) Helping folks, like giving to our local food bank
3) Enjoying new EDM music that I find on the net
4) Oatmeal raisin cookies, YUM!


Walter

 

[um52iwec]

Well let's see:
1) Traveling and meeting new people, cultures
2) Helping folks, like giving to our local food bank
3) Enjoying new EDM music that I find on the net
4) Oatmeal raisin cookies, YUM!


Walter

Sometimes I think traveling is dangerous for my mental condition, especially when I feel like, every scenery spot are the same. It's like merely sightseeing. I'm trying to travel by immersing myself in the local life, absorbing the distinct character of surroundings. This gives me a feeling of reality.

 

[enjoytheride]

I will follow @whywere's template :)

1) Learning new things and appreciating arts, sciences and Nature.
2) Doing my best to help others at work and out there.
3) Enjoying different kinds of music and films.
4) Still believing that people can be good, or rather, that there are some good folks out there that I hope to meet.
5) Some good coffee, birds chirping, sunrises and sunsets.

 

[itsgone2]

1) Learning new things and appreciating arts, sciences and Nature.
2) Doing my best to help others at work and out there.
3) Enjoying different kinds of music and films.

Prioritizing your mind, and work.
Impressive. I've only figured it too late. Like many.

 

[whywere]

Sometimes I think traveling is dangerous for my mental condition, especially when I feel like, every scenery spot are the same. It's like merely sightseeing. I'm trying to travel by immersing myself in the local life, absorbing the distinct character of surroundings. This gives me a feeling of reality.

EXCELLENT!

You are a very intelligent and caring person.

Have a great rest of this week and a beautiful upcoming weekend.

Walter

 

[aeoliandawn]

I will follow @whywere's template :)

1) Learning new things and appreciating arts, sciences and Nature.
2) Doing my best to help others at work and out there.
3) Enjoying different kinds of music and films.
4) Still believing that people can be good, or rather, that there are some good folks out there that I hope to meet.
5) Some good coffee, birds chirping, sunrises and sunsets.

Guys, you guys are so nice, wth? Why are the most genuinely nice people doing on this forum?
I guess appreciating life could be finding fulfillment in the simplest things, I'm still having a hard time actually doing so
Either way, thank you all for answering! All of you, genuinely

 

[JoeFailure]

I have a lot. I just can't figure out the job/money part.