Not officially but, in childhood, yes. The (suspected) narcissist I grew up with accused me of a whole bunch of things I hadn't done. They ranged in seriousness. But they told their tales to parents, friends, teachers, head teachers. They even perpetrated actual harms against me and then, (falsely) accused me of something worse as a smoke screen.
Obviously, all of it was bad but the worst thing was that fully grown adults, even my own farther were somewhat compliant in going along with these false narratives, even though they must have realised I didn't do them. (For an easier life I imagine. I was less likely to put up a protest/ fight.)
I wouldn't deny that in very young childhood, I was guilty too of telling the odd false or exagerated tale. (Although, I wonder if I was copying them. Still no excuse of course.) But, this continued well into teen years with them. I'd be amazed if they weren't still at it now with some other poor sod.
But yeah, it's had a massive impact on my life. Whenever something suspicious happens now, I have this deadly fear I'll get the blame. I remember feeling so afraid that a therapist I tried once wouldn't believe me or, would take their side. I'm always frightened the person from my childhood will start something up again. Plus, it made it clear where my closest loved one (my father's) loyalties truly lay when the chips were down.
I always used to feel when it comes to legal cases, if the person turns out to be (knowingly) falsely accusing someone, they should serve the time for whatever crime they were accusing them of. When you think of the most serious crimes out there- child molestation, rape, murder- people's lives can be tarred forever once they have been accused- even if they're found innocent. The worst the severity of the crime, the more monstrous people suspect they may be.
Of course, it wouldn't work in practice. Our legal system is way too fallible and, it would put genuine victims off reporting genuine crimes. The liars out there make a mockery of the system though. They mock genuine victims too.
You mentioned 'triangulation' in your post. Do you think your sister may be a narcissist? (Sorry- just seen that she has been diagnosed.) I feel so bad for you though. All the shit I went through in childhood lead me to developing ideation way back then.
It's hard to describe just how awful and fightening it is to be around someone so volatile and manipulative. Even walking on eggshells won't save you. If they're having a bad day, they'll simply make shit up! It literally felt like a living nightmare at the time.
Not that this is a cure but, I recommend anyone who's had run-ins with suspected narcissists to watch the following YouTube channels: 'Live Abuse Free', 'The Crappy Childhood Fairy' and 'DoctorRamani'.
I know the idea of 'labelling' people doesn't go down at all well with members here who have been diagnosed with NPD. I can understand that point of view. I also accept that demonizing a group of people isn't particularly kind or helpful.
I would just say, I'm not trying to demonize all with NPD. I'm just expressing my experience with a particular individual who I would argue displays multiple strong traits.
It actually helped me enormously to learn about narcissism. A great many of their behaviours made no sense at all to me until I saw them all represented. It was like this validating revelation that I wasn't entirely crazy. I actually used to wonder if I'd slept walked and done some of the things they accused me of because I just couldn't fathom why someone would lie that much or, hate that intensely for no real reason.
I know the other argument is that they suffer too and, I'm sure that's true. I suppose I'm just not big enough a person to be willing to give them enough of a chance I suppose. I feel like some individuals in life are dangerous basically. Maybe not to all but, to those not strong enough or knowledgable enough to be able to live peacefully with them.
I think it's reasonable for those who have suffered at their hands to steer clear. Plus, I feel like it does help in the healing process to try to work out what just happened to you! Wondering whether they could be a narcissist I feel is a part of that. So, while the label is banded about an awful lot. Probably incorrectly sometimes, maybe incorrectly in my case too, I think there are positives in being aware. Sorry- that evolved into something else...
