Has anyone dealt with obsession/lovesickness?

[angelsrevolver]

Hi, this is my first post on this website. I hope you guys will accept me. I apologise if I mistagged something or made any mistakes.
I've had a 6 year long obsession with my best friend. As a result, I have resorted to stalking, threats, and full-on emotional abuse. We have been on and off due to this. I am distant and avoidant, but he happens to be an exception to my general demeanour. I am aware that I am a horrible person, nonetheless, I just wanted to see if there is anyone that might resonate with this.

 

[enduringwinter]

Yeah I get it.

5-6 years is the mark where I tend to ghost them forever tbh. I've heard about the seven year itch but it's the 5-6 years ghost for me lol.

It felt great the first time and I think my self esteem improved permanently from that, the subsequent ones werent worth it tho.

 

[archiveofpain]

Yeah, currently struggling with something similar with my best friend. Stalking them is a massive trigger for me though like when I can see them online and imagine what they are looking at or who they are talking to and I lose my shit, in the end I will get mad over things that I do myself and it sucks

Sometimes keeping a distance or distracting yourself helps, when I'm busy I feel I don't think about them much

 

[whywere]

1st off, WELCOME to SaSu! It is great having you here as a new friend.

To be completely honest, stalking is on the extreme side and may not have the best outcome LONG TERM.

Back in the 1970', yep, I am older, I really liked a gal, and she embarrassed me to the whole community where I lived, so mind turned out horribly.

Your intentions by now are clear as day and then back off and give him some space to not only get used to you, but no matter also how long you two have known each other, and let attraction take place. Nothing of any value comes in a flash, one plants seeds in the garden and then months later harvest a bountiful crop.

Also, you are NOT EVER a horrible person, emotions can be very intense with anyone and that does NOT make you a horrible person EVER PERIOD.

Take a deep breath, give the lad some space and watch the garden (love) grow.

Walter

 

[FoxSauce]

Yes sadly but I try not to go all out. Stalk socials or thinking about them non stop or just fantasizing.

Sometimes is better to keep some people at arms length. Im just trying to hurt them

 

[_AllCatsAreGrey_]

Hi OP. What you're describing sounds like limerence. This is very common. I have been through it. The intensity of feeling can be overwhelming.

Here is a write-up about limerence:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/limerence/amp

There's a lot on the web about ways to pass through it. Remember this is normal human feeling and you are not alone in this experience.

 

[hikaru13]

Hellooo and welcome to SaSu!!!

Yeah, I understand your situation and I've been dealing with the same thing with two of my best friends, minus the stalking. But, all the emotional manipulation and other stuff were something I've done. It feels so terrible to be aware of but there's not much for it to be fixed. So yes, you're seen and understood.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Hi OP. What you're describing sounds like limerence. This is very common. I have been through it. The intensity of feeling can be overwhelming.

Here is a write-up about limerence:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/limerence/amp

There's a lot on the web about ways to pass through it. Remember this is normal human feeling and you are not alone in this experience.

I was also going to mention that it sounds like limerence. I went through around 13 ish years of it before making an effort to stop myself because it was messing me up so badly. I was too shy/ unconfident to really pursue them though- thankfully really but, I understand the want to.

 

[Pluto]

 

[just a bird]

Fuck yeah I've dealt with this. Currently dealing with it, actually. It sucks how much of my mood depends on them. I don't think I've gotten to full-on stalker level yet but I've certainly come close more than once. If you ever want to talk about it, go ahead, I spend like half my time these days just wanting to vent about them so I think I get it?

 

[angelsrevolver]

Fuck yeah I've dealt with this. Currently dealing with it, actually. It sucks how much of my mood depends on them. I don't think I've gotten to full-on stalker level yet but I've certainly come close more than once. If you ever want to talk about it, go ahead, I spend like half my time these days just wanting to vent about them so I think I get it?

Our situation feels special to me; therefore, opening up about it destroys the illusion. I refuse, no matter what, to be fully honest about it to others. However, I do understand your pain. Obsession is quite debilitating, isn't it? I hope you are doing well, and to everybody else that has read through this thread

 

[michii]

Hi OP. What you're describing sounds like limerence. This is very common. I have been through it. The intensity of feeling can be overwhelming.

Here is a write-up about limerence:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/limerence/amp

There's a lot on the web about ways to pass through it. Remember this is normal human feeling and you are not alone in this experience.

Thanks for the link! I didn't know about limerance and it sounds a lot like something I've been going through.

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

My prediction: It will not end well and it will burn itself out. You might go through this a few more times. Eventually after enough pain and wasted time and effort, you'll give up on the whole idea. But who knows. And welcome!

 

[angelsrevolver]

My prediction: It will not end well and it will burn itself out. You might go through this a few more times. Eventually after enough pain and wasted time and effort, you'll give up on the whole idea. But who knows. And welcome!

Your prediction is correct. I lost the only person I care about, and it is entirely my fault. I wish for others to learn from me, if anything. The pain will eventually doom both parties, and you will feel lost for God knows how long... (Thank you for the warm welcome!)

 

[Ch4in3dcr0w]

Its not your fault u were behaving/feeling that way. Losing him/her safed u from a lot more pain u could be in or inflict on him/her. Good luck in the future u are valid no matter what