
Unsure and Useless
Dreaming Endlessly, not Wanting to Wake Up
- Feb 7, 2023
- 385
I'm experiencing, as the kids call it, "The Surge". You know, when thinking about/planning/executing your CTB makes you feel a rush of energy? Yeah, that
If I don't get into medical school, I'm gonna CTB. Full stop. I need to get my hands on SN, antiemetics, and (ideally) benzos, but that's the plan! Yep. Probably before that, I'm gonna buy some boba for myself; maybe some ice cream and a bean and cheese taco. Otherwise, a simple McMuffin is also good for me
This is gonna be so cringe when I look back on this, but right now, this feels like peak gambling
Win? Medical school
Lose? CTB by SN
Arguably, winning would be CTB, but honestly, the work to find a reputable SN source in addition to the fact that I'd be leaving a bunch of friends behind are just not it at the moment (Yes, I know about DSL on Y; I just can't find it)
Man, where should I even CTB? I can't do it at home since I live with family, but the city is so crowded. I'll probably have to book a hotel room, so researching how to prepare my room for a corpse will be necessary
Anyways, yeah, I'm just feeling really happy at the idea of getting my ticket and jumping on the bus
If I don't get into medical school, I'm gonna CTB. Full stop. I need to get my hands on SN, antiemetics, and (ideally) benzos, but that's the plan! Yep. Probably before that, I'm gonna buy some boba for myself; maybe some ice cream and a bean and cheese taco. Otherwise, a simple McMuffin is also good for me
This is gonna be so cringe when I look back on this, but right now, this feels like peak gambling
Win? Medical school
Lose? CTB by SN
Arguably, winning would be CTB, but honestly, the work to find a reputable SN source in addition to the fact that I'd be leaving a bunch of friends behind are just not it at the moment (Yes, I know about DSL on Y; I just can't find it)
Man, where should I even CTB? I can't do it at home since I live with family, but the city is so crowded. I'll probably have to book a hotel room, so researching how to prepare my room for a corpse will be necessary
Anyways, yeah, I'm just feeling really happy at the idea of getting my ticket and jumping on the bus