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3FailedAttemptss

3FailedAttemptss

trans girl (`・ω・´)
Jan 22, 2025
136
So yours truly~ is still in the psych ward. I think I'm getting close to another CTB attempt. So for the sake of thoroughness and preparing myself, I've really been trying to compress my carotid or sort of simulate a partial hanging whenever possible. I think I've gotten close a few times; however, each time my vision starts going and I think I'm getting close to making myself pass out, my hand, which is gripping my neck, starts spazzing out uncontrollably.

Is this SI or what's happening? How can I prevent this in the future? I've been trying to hold down my gripping hand with my other hand to no avail. 。゚(゚´Д`゚)゚。
 
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locked*n*loaded

locked*n*loaded

Archangel
Apr 15, 2022
8,956
Idk. Could be SI. Maybe it's just conditioning. What happens if you use the other hand to do the compressing?
 
3FailedAttemptss

3FailedAttemptss

trans girl (`・ω・´)
Jan 22, 2025
136
I've been trying and trying with my other hand - but no dice, can't seem to get it to work. Only thing that happens is the ceiling and walls start moving more than they usually do, but I guess that has more to do with me prolly being a schizo than anything else >w<

I'll try to keep at it. o7
 
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F

Forveleth

I knew I forgot to do something when I was 15...
Mar 26, 2024
2,251
I have done this a few times and I usually press in with both thumbs, so I use two hands. Never experienced any shaking though, that is interesting.
 
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evanescent_eva

evanescent_eva

valkyrie
May 11, 2025
94
So yours truly~ is still in the psych ward. I think I'm getting close to another CTB attempt. So for the sake of thoroughness and preparing myself, I've really been trying to compress my carotid or sort of simulate a partial hanging whenever possible. I think I've gotten close a few times; however, each time my vision starts going and I think I'm getting close to making myself pass out, my hand, which is gripping my neck, starts spazzing out uncontrollably.

Is this SI or what's happening? How can I prevent this in the future? I've been trying to hold down my gripping hand with my other hand to no avail. 。゚(゚´Д`゚)゚。

Hi there :3 When you compress the carotid arteries, you reduce blood flow to all areas of the brain. When the brain gets hypoxic, it stops being able to regulate motor neurons properly, which can cause such neurons to become hyperexcitable. When your motor neurons become hyperexcitable, random parts of your body - like, say, the hand you're using to choke yourself - can start spazzing uncontrollably. I think that's what's happening here. Unfortunately, it's not something that you can really prevent - it's your body's biomechanical response to hypoxia.

Importantly, this is not the same as SI. This is (i) you choking yourself out correctly, (ii) your brain shutting down because you are choking yourself out correctly, (iii) your hand experiencing myoclonic activity because your brain is shutting down correctly, and then (iv) you no longer being able to choke yourself, because your hand convulsed away from your neck. It's like if you took a sublethal dose of benzos and then passed out before you could take the rest, thereby preventing you from taking the rest to ctb.

If you've gotten close to passing out a few times, to the point where your vision fades and your hand spasms, then imo you really don't need to practice anymore. You know where your sweet spot is, and you've overcome your SI as much as possible. Practicing more just for practice's sake might just be bad for your brain.

Best of luck o7
 
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cciro

cciro

girl (in development)
May 16, 2025
15
That also happened when I did it. Vision and hearing fade, and my hands and body start spasming and twitching. Then my mind snaps back to normalcy and I've let go but I don't remember letting go. I think that means you're doing it correctly, but you probably can't make yourself pass out with your hands alone, need something else to compress it.
 
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