Venting half my problems will be solved if i lose weight.

[doireallywannadie]

Growing up, I was always a little chubby, I even knew it myself cuz everyone around me including friends and family were saying it to my face since the age of like 9. I never really put much thought into it until i was 12. The time where the only thing on my min started to be ctb or something to do w my looks. It was absolutely draining. I thought I was "average" or a "normal" weight until everyone around me started getting partners and experiencing their "teenage love" bs. That was when I knew I was the ugliest one of all my friends. Even know, at 18 years old I know I'm the ugliest one among my friends. The fattest one.

I know for sure that romance is not all there is to life, but however, a lot of my insecurities are tied to my weight, and it makes it hard to do everyday tasks.
I've had an eating disorder for years now. It is either binge eating until I get physically sick or starving until I'm physically sickk. It's gotten to the point that when I see physically unwell people, anorexic malnourished people, I start to get jealous of their body because my body isn't like theirs.

The fact that I wear a lot of makeup doesn't help the fact that I'm not skinny. I genuinely feel like a pig with lipstick on. I am such a catfish that it's not even funny. The proof of my ugliness is that almost everyone I've talked to or dated were online/long distanced. Nobody finds me attractive, and when my friends say that I'm pretty, they are all lying to make me feel better.

I know for a fact that if I js shed some pounds I'll feel a lot more better about myself.

I'm so insecure I need to die.

 

[elenaboo25]

If half your problems will be solved if you lose weight, why not try? I'll be trying to go to the gym next month. I'm classified as obese and already starting to feel the negative impact on my health and I want to try to improve that so as to improve my quality of life for the remaining time that I am forced to be here.

 

[chocone]

one trick that doctors in taiwan recommended me was just drink a shit ton of water (if you don't like plain water, tea or no cal flavorings do the same thing). When they say a shit ton they mean three to five litres a day (NOT ALL AT ONCE), and apparently it helps supress your appetite and increase your metabolism. another one is to eat your food separated by groups, so veggies first, protein, then carbs/sugars. it's called meal sequencing and it helps manage blood sugar and lots of other stuff. I was also told that fat/oils aren't the enemy either, because you actually need fats to absorb lots of vitamins properly. Vitamins A, D, E and K are all fat soluble and are found a lot in veggies, so adding a little bit of oil to those is essential if you tend to boil/steam veggies like I do. this was all from a weight loss program my mom made me do, but honestly a lot was in mandarin so i hope i remembered it correctly. i speak canto and english and my mando is kinda shoddy so hopefully i'm not spreading misinformation lol

but for how much weight seems to affect your self-esteem, there's a perspective on this that might help you, might make it worse, but I think it's important to know either way. Losing weight will not magically make you valuable as a person, nor will it automatically grant you a partner. A lot of people find that after losing weight, they might've gotten more attention but a decent chunk was objectification, not appreciation.

think about it this way. it's all just a sick ploy from those who have cultural power to control people. if you live in the english speaking part of the world you're living in a world designed by this one guy called jeffrey epstein who really liked little girls, and the thinner they were the easier they were to traffick and the easier their bodies were to bury. you don't need to love your body, it's just nice to be okay with it. understanding this helped me deal with my weight issues too, because why the hell am i getting sick to satisfy the desires of pedos? i don't know what your current weight is nor do i need to know, but whatever it is it's not a reflection of your morals or worth as a person.

 

[ilovenewyork]

You're in luck!
Look up GLP-1 drugs. They work, quickly, and they're very healthy.

 

[Zura]

i think you can maybe try skipping ropes its kinda fun and can maybe help with reducing weight as it is kinda cardio tho i am not sure since everyones bodies are different but do look it up maybe and give it a shot as it can be quite fun trying to set up small targets like maybe start from 50 consecutive skips and work your way up
also about the eating disorder i think you should maybe try dividing your meals in more intervals rather than eating a big meal all together at once maybe have small meals but at more intervals throught the day also starving yourself seems like a bad idea maybe eat as little as one bite but go have a snack tho easier said than done i wish you the best you got this

 

[Pepper]

Just because you're overweight, it doesn't mean that you are ugly. Beauty is subjective. Do you know how many women I see (and also follow) on social media, whether that be Instagram, TikTok, or YouTube that are overweight but are absolutely stunning? Quite a bit of them. Actually, two of the ones I watch consistently are Samantha Jo on TikTok and YouTube and Sierra Ann who is also on TikTok and YouTube since they're my comfort content creators. Both of them have had a baby in the last year, both of them have also been on a weight loss journey before having a baby and now after having a baby. If I'm not mistaken, both of them have also been around or over the 300lb (I know for sure Samantha Jo was over the 300lb because she mentioned it in a recent video).
I know how horrible it can be to have family, friends and to I have even had bullies mention my weight growing up, especially in my teenage years and it affected me and made me insecure. I quite literally had one "friend" tell me that I "needed to go run laps." It absolutely hurts. During my teenage years, I also only dated/talked to long distance/relationships. You're right, that romance is not all there is to life, but I understand wanting to be comfortable in your body to be able to do the things you need and want to do helps tremendously, and if you ever do want to get into a relationship without you constantly doubting yourself inside your head with nagging insecurities or thoughts or even doubting your partner. However, don't think that someone won't love you just the way you are because you're overweight, either!! From what I read, you're still young and your 20s is for experiencing life and finding yourself. You've got a lot of time to settle down.
May I ask if you've ever seeked support such as therapy or even medication for your eating disorder? In my personal experience, I know that I dealt with binge eating growing up and neither one of my parents were quite the best with healthy meals, but it took me up until a few years ago to be diagnosed with adhd alongside binge eating disorder. Adderall has helped some with suppressing my appetite, but I do know it's important that I have to eat because starving yourself isn't healthy either. Seeing someone like Eugenia Cooney or similar isn't a good role model to become skinny. She's dealing with a lot, and last I knew, she couldn't hold water down, which isn't a good sign. In all honesty, I am surprised she is still here with us and I hope she receives the help that she needs. Your body starts shutting down at that point. Hair falls out, your menstrual cycle stops, and it's a slow and not so great way to die.
If you're not seeking treatment, I do hope that you do. Work on your mental health regarding your eating disorder first and if you can, a registered nutritionist would also be able to help as well with calorie deficit and macros such as protein, fiber, etcetera. You would be surprised how much eating healthy can help shed some weight without even exercising yet. Incorporate exercising when you're ready. Even getting 10k steps in helps. Losing 1-2lb a week if the safest way to go, too. You will get to your goal in no time. Don't forget to have a cheat day, too, because you deserve it!
If you need any inspiration, I follow a lot of women on Instagram and some on TikTok who have gone from 600lb+ to less than 200lb. They also provide what helped them reach their goals just by diet and exercise alone with certain exercises and meal prep recipes or simply just by still eating the things they love, but in a healthier way. A good majority of them also become trainers and have programs as well.
I hope I was able to help a bit, and you're more than welcome to dm me if you want. I'm also starting my fitness journey at a higher weight than what I was before when I lost weight the first time around (I got really sick and gained all the weight back a few years later and then some).