had enough of life

[barny]

hi guys, im new. I have been reading some of the posts.
I have bipolar disorder but suffered with 'depression' since a kid. I thought one day things would get better, but they didn't.
things never got better. I've had highs at lows but the end of the day theres no point in my life, I have no one, no friends, no real family, no one who cares. so when they say dont CTB because of how it will affect those close to you, !? makes me feel even worse!

Anyway I wish I had the courage to jump or hang myself, but I dont think I do. I dont want to mess about, or do any half hearted attempt though. I want something that will just send me to sleep and not wake up, but with no chance of it not working. I've bought 100 sleeping pills, it says on internet 24 zopiclone would CTB but then I saw someone said they survived taking 90! not sure how its even possible to swallow 90 but then that would be no good?

Kinda like the idea of opiates but seems too dodgey to order online? been looking for ages. I dont know any sites that would be any good, and getting them delivered, is that safe?

 

[Cevapcici]

Sleeping pills probably won't kill you, and if they do, it's gonna be very painful because overdoes like this induce liver failure...!

 

[GeorgeJL]

The closet thing to a sleeping pill and something that is effective is nembutal.

 

[AtomicNewt]

hi guys, im new. I have been reading some of the posts.
I have bipolar disorder but suffered with 'depression' since a kid. I thought one day things would get better, but they didn't.
things never got better. I've had highs at lows but the end of the day theres no point in my life, I have no one, no friends, no real family, no one who cares. so when they say dont CTB because of how it will affect those close to you, !? makes me feel even worse!

Anyway I wish I had the courage to jump or hang myself, but I dont think I do. I dont want to mess about, or do any half hearted attempt though. I want something that will just send me to sleep and not wake up, but with no chance of it not working. I've bought 100 sleeping pills, it says on internet 24 zopiclone would CTB but then I saw someone said they survived taking 90! not sure how its even possible to swallow 90 but then that would be no good?

Kinda like the idea of opiates but seems too dodgey to order online? been looking for ages. I dont know any sites that would be any good, and getting them delivered, is that safe?

Hey there. Can relate to all of this. Particularly people saying don't ctb because of others, when you feel feel so alone, whilst they in turn truly don't understand what alone means. Dont go but we won't help! People don't realise it's ultimately cruel commands being dictated from an ivory tower. Yeah, sure, wish someone would would miss me, but I could be dead for years and no one, friends wise, would even know. That's loneliness. People don't get or understand that though do they.

Giving you a big hug, sounds like you need it. Please feel free to message me, I'm fairly wonky but do care.

 

[suffering]

I have no one, no friends, no real family, no one who cares.

Me neither. But I don't feel bad about it, there is a certain degree of freedom in being alone. I would ctb if I could, but I can't seem to find the courage. So as far as being alive goes, being alone is quite useful. No one to drag me down, no one to annoy me.

 

[barny]

thanks guys, that's nice of you. Weird thing happened yesterday this girl id seen once at work, came up to me in Sainsburys and started hugging me! um I dont even know who you are! but it was quite bizzaire, it was like she knew what I was thinking.
I went to try get some more drugs tonight but was unsuccessful, maybe need to go on a Saturday night. working out how to use bitcoins but all takes so long and tired of waiting. trying to get a collection of things that will work, opioids. yes iv looked at the diffennt methods.
im meant to be going on holiday next week and id rather cancel it and ctb instead! but still waiting for all this stuff. dont know what to do

Hey there. Can relate to all of this. Particularly people saying don't ctb because of others, when you feel feel so alone, whilst they in turn truly don't understand what alone means. Dont go but we won't help! People don't realise it's ultimately cruel commands being dictated from an ivory tower. Yeah, sure, wish someone would would miss me, but I could be dead for years and no one, friends wise, would even know. That's loneliness. People don't get or understand that though do they.

Giving you a big hug, sounds like you need it. Please feel free to message me, I'm fairly wonky but do care.

Thanks! literally dont even know how to message anyone :(

 

[Cevapcici]

thanks guys, that's nice of you. Weird thing happened yesterday this girl id seen once at work, came up to me in Sainsburys and started hugging me! um I dont even know who you are! but it was quite bizzaire, it was like she knew what I was thinking.
I went to try get some more drugs tonight but was unsuccessful, maybe need to go on a Saturday night. working out how to use bitcoins but all takes so long and tired of waiting. trying to get a collection of things that will work, opioids. yes iv looked at the diffennt methods.
im meant to be going on holiday next week and id rather cancel it and ctb instead! but still waiting for all this stuff. dont know what to do


Thanks! literally dont even know how to message anyone :(

You won't be able to message anyone until a certain time spent on the website, that's how it works :p

Edit : welcome amongst us, and take your time to think your decision through ! Maybe you're still young and there is a chance of recovery for you...