Anyone else feel guilt after trying to ctb unbeknownst to the people that contact you afterwards? Here I am the morning after failing to ctb again, this time with nobody knowing it, with family calling me to make future plans. I don't want to not make the plans because I don't want them to be suspicious of my motives. At the same time I feel remorse for agreeing to things knowing whole heartedly I'm trying to figure out a way to die as soon as possible. Such a weird place to be.
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lament.
the Immortal
- Jun 28, 2023
- 191
I feel the exact same, the other day I was asked by my family about what I wanted to do for my 20th birthday in a few months and I'm just sitting there like I'm not going to live long enough to see that day at this rate.
greatgooglymoogly
Member
- Dec 1, 2023
- 79
It's the worst feeling. After I chickened out a couple months ago, I just had to go right into the next day with work, class projects, relationship like nothing happened. Couldn't tell anyone about it. No one knows that I was probably minutes away from not being there with them at that moment.
I relate. I'm a 20 year old who did not plan on turning 20
