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BipolarGuy

BipolarGuy

Enlightened
Aug 6, 2020
1,456
Didn't know where to post this. Apologies if this is in the wrong place.

Do you ever feel guilty about wanting to bring your life to an end due to how it may make some other people feel?

I don't have many people in my life that I care about, and quite frankly if my death tears apart my family, well they shouldn't have been so shit to me then should they, so they can live with the consequences.
BUT there is one or two people that care about me genuinely, and who I care about too.

I don't like the thought of hurting them.
But equally I know I can't go on living through this rubbish just so they feel better. It's just not sustainable.

How do you cope with this situation?

Yes, they know how I feel.
They're VERY concerned about me.
I spoke to one of these people tonight and they asked how I was. I said that I'm so bad that I don't even want to talk about it.
They know me well, and that concerned them even more.
 
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Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Sep 4, 2019
5,903
One reason I'm still here is because of my family and friends. It would kill my sister if I were to die. I currently live away from her right now and she's always asking about me and she texts me everyday saying she misses me and loves me (she just turned 7). It might kill my brother too, but not as much as her.

And my parents would be hurt because they had their 2 year old die in their arms and my mom had a miscarriage so it would hurt them a lot. My mom also said that my grandma is one of my biggest supporters and hasn't given up on me even though I'm a huge failure and am basically a leech. I just feel so guilty about it. I don't want to hurt them, but at the same time am hurting really bad.
 
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Stick

Stick

Experienced
Aug 31, 2020
269
I used to. I definitely wouldn't be alive if it weren't for my family and the knowledge of how much ctb would hurt them, but I don't feel guilty about it anymore.
I love those around me, and I'm doing my best to stay here for them, and so I don't feel selfish to want to end my pain. Because I know I'm doing my best, I don't feel guilty if my best still winds up with me dead.
Of course, I still feel bad in the sense that I hope they don't suffer, which is why I'm sticking it out right now. But yeah, I don't feel guilty anymore.
 
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Wayfaerer

Wayfaerer

JFMSUF
Aug 21, 2019
1,938
I'm too overburdened to be able to care how I make others feel . As far as my parents go, they have a lot to do with why I am even suicidal in the first place so why should I care how they'd feel? And my sister whom I do care for, well, sorry but there are just things that are out of our control.
 
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BipolarGuy

BipolarGuy

Enlightened
Aug 6, 2020
1,456
I'm too overburdened to be able to care how I make others feel . As far as my parents go, they have a lot to do with why I am even suicidal in the first place so why should I care how they'd feel? And my sister whom I do care for, well, sorry but there are just things that are out of our control.
Oh same, my parents and my oldest sibling can get f***ed as far as I'm concerned.
 

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