Venting Got mad and told a coworker I’d kill myself

[Hellis]

Asked a guy to turn off his music because it impacts my misophonia. Explained the whole thing to him and he didn't believe me. When I told him it was not very cool of him he started blasting his music and called me a fucking bitch then yelled at me about how he was not yelling at me. I screamed that I was going to fucking kill myself and he told me that wasn't his problem. I can't stop crying. I have to go back tomorrow I really want to die but I promised another coworker I wouldn't hurt myself tonight. I'm so fucked.

 

[chloeburbank]

I'm so sorry you had to go through that :( I have misophonia too, mainly triggered by people eating loud, and it's absolutely the worst feeling when they continue triggering you till the point of torment. Can you do anything to distance yourself from this coworker? I hope things get better for you, sending hugs

 

[Lamentice]

This is too much drama for the workplace, both sides of this interaction were wildly unprofessional and escalating.

 

[Eden.temp]

Man, that really sucks to hear. I wish people would be more understanding of others (but then again, we wouldn't be here if they would, right). I know things are awful rn, but try to take care of yourself tonight. If anything, this A-hole doesn't deserve credit for your pain. I'm not gonna tell you not to do anything drastic, but please make sure you stay true to what you want.

 

[PanaxMan]

Asked a guy to turn off his music because it impacts my misophonia. Explained the whole thing to him and he didn't believe me. When I told him it was not very cool of him he started blasting his music and called me a fucking bitch then yelled at me about how he was not yelling at me. I screamed that I was going to fucking kill myself and he told me that wasn't his problem. I can't stop crying. I have to go back tomorrow I really want to die but I promised another coworker I wouldn't hurt myself tonight. I'm so fucked.

From a normal perspective, they probably just had no idea such a thing even exists.

 

[Hellis]

From a normal perspective, they probably just had no idea such a thing even exists.

I've tried to have this discussion with him before, explained to him my situation and condition and he said he understood, but clearly he hasn't. At this point, I there's no getting through to him.

This is too much drama for the workplace, both sides of this interaction were wildly unprofessional and escalating.

Yeah, thanks, very helpful.

I want to kill myself and all you care about is professionalism? You are what makes me hate this world. Only when I die will I be free from being a fucking number, emotions don't even matter anymore. Even on the only website I'm allowed to truly speak on my suicidal ideation I'm shamed for it.

 

[SoverignDreamer97]

You're mad because you're trying to control the uncontrollables. Which is why my former boss gave me the axiom:

"You can't please everyone; control the things you can control." ~Suncha

 

[Hellis]

You're mad because you're trying to control the uncontrollables. Which is why my former boss gave me the axiom:

"You can't please everyone; control the things you can control." ~Suncha

Misophonia is a death sentence in itself. I've tried all I can to control it, so many doctors, different kinds. I've known from the age of 8 that I'd only be free of it in death. Well, unless I can get a lobotomy.

I can't even control myself, at least if I die I won't be a burden to myself or others. It's win win, I just need to stop procrastinating it already.

If a better me can't be someone tolerable then maybe it'd at least be someone strong enough to die.

 

[Darmok]

There is a distinct lack of professionalism here. Your co-worker escalated ... and you threatened to kill yourself. Not professional, and it makes it harder to get what you need. When you began this job, did you request an accommodation for your misophonia?

 

[SoverignDreamer97]

Misophonia is a death sentence in itself. I've tried all I can to control it, so many doctors, different kinds. I've known from the age of 8 that I'd only be free of it in death. Well, unless I can get a lobotomy.

I can't even control myself, at least if I die I won't be a burden to myself or others. It's win win, I just need to stop procrastinating it already.

If a better me can't be someone tolerable then maybe it'd at least be someone strong enough to die.

So is homelessness, which is why I say, "If I die, I die; though my father, mother, and even the whole world forsake me, the Lord will bring me up." (Esther 4:11, Psalm 27:10)

 

[Hellis]

There is a distinct lack of professionalism here. Your co-worker escalated ... and you threatened to kill yourself. Not professional, and it makes it harder to get what you need. When you began this job, did you request an accommodation for your misophonia?

Fucks sake can you all stop caring about professionalism? Whether or not I'm a professional won't mean shit when I'm 6 feet under. If you can't respond to a vent without criticism don't open vent threads, if I wanted your input on my breakdown I'd be make it known.

 

[bl33ding_heart]

Fuck your stupid coworker and I hope karma will come after him. :3

 

[Aflame5926]

damn idiots everywhere. is there any chance for a manager to step in?
with a situations like yours it does require additionel help.

but what an actually asshole

 

[Lamentice]

Yeah, thanks, very helpful.

I want to kill myself and all you care about is professionalism? You are what makes me hate this world. Only when I die will I be free from being a fucking number, emotions don't even matter anymore. Even on the only website I'm allowed to truly speak on my suicidal ideation I'm shamed for it.

You've really got to self reflect, because your lack of accountability is no doubt a huge contributor to where you are mentally. How you escalated is not okay, how your coworker escalated is not okay, but you both overreacted.

It's not even about professionalism, a post like this expresses someone is living in a victim mentality. This is not a situation where something just happened to you and you were helpless, but it is a situation where you became triggered and externalized it and escalated and then spiraled out into self-loathing. I'm telling you genuinely (and with care, just not over-pouring sympathy): self reflect.

 

[ginadu]

Asked a guy to turn off his music because it impacts my misophonia. Explained the whole thing to him and he didn't believe me. When I told him it was not very cool of him he started blasting his music and called me a fucking bitch then yelled at me about how he was not yelling at me. I screamed that I was going to fucking kill myself and he told me that wasn't his problem. I can't stop crying. I have to go back tomorrow I really want to die but I promised another coworker I wouldn't hurt myself tonight. I'm so fucked.

 

[rainwillneverstop]

OP has stated they just wish to vent and wasn't asking for specific advice or opinion about the situation, please respect that.

 

[Hellis]

You've really got to self reflect, because your lack of accountability is no doubt a huge contributor to where you are mentally. How you escalated is not okay, how your coworker escalated is not okay, but you both overreacted.

It's not even about professionalism, a post like this expresses someone is living in a victim mentality. This is not a situation where something just happened to you and you were helpless, but it is a situation where you became triggered and externalized it and escalated and then spiraled out into self-loathing. I'm telling you genuinely (and with care, just not over-pouring sympathy): self reflect.

Self reflected, saw I was the problem, see I'm always the problem, see how everyone hates me, see how nothing is ever going to change.

Thanks for reminding me I'm the problem, it's not like I've decided to ctb for that exact reason or anything. The world is quite literally better without me. I thought I'd be allowed to be myself here, but maybe this place is pro suicide, seems to be good at pushing me to the edge.

Related note: People are more than just their job, we aren't cogs in a machine and viewing me first and foremost as unfit for this shitty system we've acquired is bad in its own way. If you want to play up this mental moral high ground nonsense then self reflect on why you think I should care about professionalism when I am feeling suicidal. Even if I am victimizing myself, even if I am a broken person unfit for this world, why would that be what matters to you? Must I carry out my duty for my job over myself? Is that what dictates my worth? Is that what dictates whether or not I deserve critique in my lowest moments? I think you should see people as who they are not if they are societally acceptable for this economy.

 

[Bootleg Astolfo]

I constantly meme about how im trying to give myself a heart attack where i volunteer and no one really cares lol

 

[itsallogrenow]

Self reflected, saw I was the problem, see I'm always the problem, see how everyone hates me, see how nothing is ever going to change.

Thanks for reminding me I'm the problem, it's not like I've decided to ctb for that exact reason or anything. The world is quite literally better without me. I thought I'd be allowed to be myself here, but maybe this place is pro suicide, seems to be good at pushing me to the edge.

Related note: People are more than just their job, we aren't cogs in a machine and viewing me first and foremost as unfit for this shitty system we've acquired is bad in its own way. If you want to play up this mental moral high ground nonsense then self reflect on why you think I should care about professionalism when I am feeling suicidal. Even if I am victimizing myself, even if I am a broken person unfit for this world, why would that be what matters to you? Must I carry out my duty for my job over myself? Is that what dictates my worth? Is that what dictates whether or not I deserve critique in my lowest moments? I think you should see people as who they are not if they are societally acceptable for this economy.

Dickheads without misophonia will never understand how bad it can be. Coming onto a vent thread just to criticise smh