Venting Gonna start trauma therapy but unsure

[Warum]

I'm not sure if it is worth starting. I do wanna ctb and it is not impulsive. I thought long about it. At the same time, sometimes, I get little bolts of joy and ask myself, if I really want to ctb. Usually I end up being sure, as the willingness to live never stays long. I don't wanna waste someone elses resources by using this therapy, someone that may have a stronger will to live. I'm conflicted. But my nightmares of my sexual assault keep getting worse, so is my will to ctb.

 

[existentiallinguine]

You should try trauma therapy. It is always worth it to try. You're not wasting resources at all. Those resources are there to help you with what you're dealing with right now. I've been assaulted many times, one happening recently. The nightmares are some of the worst parts. I'm genuinely so sorry you're dealing with that. There are a lot of options out there under the umbrella of trauma therapy, so if it isn't working for you, try something else. I believe there are some threads/master lists about that in recovery, but if you have any questions, I'm happy to answer them.

 

[Warum]

You should try trauma therapy. It is always worth it to try. You're not wasting resources at all. Those resources are there to help you with what you're dealing with right now. I've been assaulted many times, one happening recently. The nightmares are some of the worst parts. I'm genuinely so sorry you're dealing with that. There are a lot of options out there under the umbrella of trauma therapy, so if it isn't working for you, try something else. I believe there are some threads/master lists about that in recovery, but if you have any questions, I'm happy to answer them.

My heart breaks by reading the word many. Even once is bad enough. I'm so sorry. May I ask what you do to improve your situation, not think about it? Mines fairly recent and resulted in me losing my partner and friend group. It's the only thing on my mind. I genuinely have no idea how to distract myself. I have been so angry and violent since, I don't reconize myself anymore.