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loopylou

Learn to fly
Jan 11, 2021
884
Feelings of guilt and shame?

it's what's stopping me from ctb when I don't want to carry on anymore. But I feel so bad for leaving people I care about behind with the grief, I know how grief feels and it's really the worst feeling :(
And the shame. Shame for not engaging in therapy properly and just feeling mega hopeless
 
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S

Spitfire

Enlightened
Apr 26, 2020
1,273
Feelings of guilt and shame?

it's what's stopping me from ctb when I don't want to carry on anymore. But I feel so bad for leaving people I care about behind with the grief, I know how grief feels and it's really the worst feeling :(
And the shame. Shame for not engaging in therapy properly and just feeling mega hopeless
It really won't matter once you are gone. This whole world is full of it at its very core anyways, those feelings you mentioned do exist for those who are still alive.
 
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NodusTollens

NodusTollens

Nov 17, 2020
989
This is a tough one.

I find reading about suicide helps a bit (Currently Reading: On Suicide: A Discourse on Voluntary Death). I think to some extent, a change in perspective is necessary. In life we are taught that CTB wrong, & to consider how it will affect others, but when does it take into account the person in pain? Just a thought.

Hope this helps.
 
BandAddict

BandAddict

Specialist
Apr 3, 2019
338
Yeah, some of my main obstacles for sure. I hate to imagine the hurt I could cause, and that maybe I should try harder before I give up. I just don't know, it seems hopeless.

Like others have said and will probably say, it won't matter as much once you're gone. I guess you have to weigh it out and see if the guilt/shame you feel is heavier than the pain/feelings of being alive. Tough call.
 
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loopylou

Learn to fly
Jan 11, 2021
884
Yeah, some of my main obstacles for sure. I hate to imagine the hurt I could cause, and that maybe I should try harder before I give up. I just don't know, it seems hopeless.

Like others have said and will probably say, it won't matter as much once you're gone. I guess you have to weigh it out and see if the guilt/shame you feel is heavier than the pain/feelings of being alive. Tough call.
Yes exactly. When my pain outweighs theirs is when I shall be catching my bus
 
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