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Star67

Member
Mar 12, 2026
27
Been severely depressed and anhedonic for over 11 years now. I'm currently in the waiting room for my 1st of 12 total ECT sessions. Anyone of you ever tried it? It's my last hope. Hope you all have a great day
 
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S

sadpeaceful_snorlax

Hisoka told me to
Mar 8, 2026
13
I haven't but I wanted to wish you good luck and I hope it goes well for ya
 
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Jadeith

Wizard
Jan 14, 2025
624
Wish you luck. Keep us posted please how it went.
 
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whywere

Illuminated
Jun 26, 2020
3,889
Wishing you all the very best in the world!

Will have you in my thoughts all day today for a great outcome.

Hugs my good friend.

Walter
 
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ManyADreadfulNight

ManyADreadfulNight

New Member
Mar 11, 2026
1
I've done ECT before. It helped loads with my mood, but not really with my suicidality (for me the two are only loosely related; last time I attempted, I remember thinking what a beautiful day it was and how lucky I was to be outside as I was omw to buy materials). Gave ECT up to go back to college (I moved out-of-state to find a program that was available to me), but I have considered looking into starting again. The time requirement is the only thing that really annoyed me (well, that and not being able to eat beforehand lol)
 
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P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
13,294
Good luck!
 
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Matchaaa

Matchaaa

Please excuse any tone misunderstandings,thank you
Dec 10, 2025
101
I hope your treatment process goes well. Good luck.
 
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webb&flow

webb&flow

dum spiro spero—take it as it comes
Nov 30, 2024
553
I'm wishing you the absolute best of luck!!!! No matter whether it's however-much effective, I truly hope that you come out of it feeling better when you first first came in ❤️. 🤗 We all hope it goes well for you!!! 🫂
 
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darksouls

darksouls

Visionary
May 10, 2025
2,960
good luck 🫂:heart:
 
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Star67

Member
Mar 12, 2026
27
Thanks everyone for your input and well wishes. Unfortunately I have some anti-climactic news. I was third in line for my session, IV and all monitors ready to go when they cancelled further treatments for the day. Supposedly they had a "bad batch" of muscle relaxants and the first two patients had complications. My next appointment is likely next Wednesday and I'll keep you all updated.
 
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webb&flow

webb&flow

dum spiro spero—take it as it comes
Nov 30, 2024
553
I'm glad you stayed safe ❤️ Wishing you most well next Wednesday 🫂 we look forward to hearing all about it!!! 🤗
 
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Star67

Member
Mar 12, 2026
27
Thanks I appreciate it lots. I'm honestly pretty bummed out and annoyed I didn't get treated today. I just want the whole thing to be over with so I can see whether it works and whether life is worth living or not. If I wasn't scheduled for ECT, which is a small dim glimmer of hope for me, I'd likely be dead today.
 
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webb&flow

webb&flow

dum spiro spero—take it as it comes
Nov 30, 2024
553
I'm glad you have even this glimmer of light 🤗

even a small light in darkness emanates ❤️
 
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Fadenself00

Student
Sep 21, 2025
136
You know there's risk for brain damage, right?
 
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webb&flow

webb&flow

dum spiro spero—take it as it comes
Nov 30, 2024
553
You know there's risk for brain damage, right?
serious conditions may call for riskier treatments~ there may be some risk, but at the same time, depression is pretty hard on not just the brain but the mind too! i think it's well worth risk in OP's case; they've struggles for over a decade now, i'm sure they've tried all sorts of other options before coming to ECT: i think their choice to try out ECT is very valid and justified given their condition. i do believe there are risks with ECT, and it's certainly no walk in the park, but i feel in such a case as OP's, it's an option for potential. hope this helps ❤️
 
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Star67

Member
Mar 12, 2026
27
Yeah I know the risks with memory loss, cognitive impairment, etc. I've read the horror stories as well. I'm suicidal anyway and don't see a future for myself. What's it matter if it makes things worse when I counted on being dead anyway? I've also tried every med you can think of as well as therapy
 
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webb&flow

webb&flow

dum spiro spero—take it as it comes
Nov 30, 2024
553
Yeah I know the risks with memory loss, cognitive impairment, etc. I've read the horror stories as well. I'm suicidal anyway and don't see a future for myself. What's it matter if it makes things worse when I counted on being dead anyway?
Oh by the way I've heard that in cases of memory loss, a lot of the time they're actually bad memories, and patients might be feeling better not remembering them. This is probably just from reading about anecdotes on the internet, though! Just thought I'd mention the possibility, to add the other side to some legitimately concerning side effects :3.
 
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Star67

Member
Mar 12, 2026
27
Oh by the way I've heard that in cases of memory loss, a lot of the time they're actually bad memories, and patients might be feeling better not remembering them. This is probably just from reading about anecdotes on the internet, though! Just thought I'd mention the possibility, to add the other side to some legitimately concerning side effects :3.
Yeah there are also plenty of people who've said it worked miracles for them. So I've just got to see how it works for me. It may work great, it may work poorly, it may not do anything. I won't know till I try.
 
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webb&flow

webb&flow

dum spiro spero—take it as it comes
Nov 30, 2024
553
When you finally sit in the Shock Seat you can scream out loud somethin' like "HERE GOES NOTHING!!!".

I also know what I'm gonna say to you after the fact too, heheheh.
 
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OnMyLast Legs

OnMyLast Legs

Too many regrets
Oct 29, 2024
1,594
A couple people I was hospitalized with were getting ECT. Neither seemed entirely healthy (obviously) but they spoke highly of it. They didn't seem any different after their sessions.
 
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Ligottian

Enlightened
Dec 19, 2021
1,277
My maternal grandfather had ECT in the early 60's. I was just a child then. Much later I was told that all it did was mess up his memory.

But best of luck to anyone here who has it it done.
 
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Star67

Member
Mar 12, 2026
27
I hope someone notices how self-destructive this is. It's self-harming behavior if you think it would help to be electrocuted. I hope you don't have to pay for this human rights violation yourself?

Other people just drink alcohol to destroy their brains, or drink a lot of sugar like me, but sugar at least brings some joy, especially in the form of chocolate, Red Bull, and Cherry Cola.
Fortunately here in Canada it's covered by public healthcare. I have struggled with drug addiction, mainly alcoholism for years in an attempt to self medicate and I gotta tell you, at some point, the drugs no longer work.
 
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letmegetout

‘People can be dead before they’ve even died’
Jan 23, 2023
165
Good luck, I
had ECT, a full course of bilateral which left me as what others described a zombie, not remembering conversations from minutes before then a full course of unilateral (suppose to not impact your memory as much) by the end I felt the best I'd ever felt (like since my depression started 20 years ago as a child). However, Its lasted only a couple of months max, very quickly tailing off and have been left with long term memory loss, mainly past memories (which I know I'll never get back) but I did have short term memory problems too which a year later still affects me but now minimally (but that took almost the whole year to get to this stage).
I'm in the uk and I felt like I wasn't fully informed of the short term memory problems I could experience. They make it very clear long term memories can be lost and won't be recovered but short term, they just say it will return to normal in 3 months and it certainly wasn't the case for myself or the other four people having ECT courses with me. So all id say is please just make sure you're fully informed of the risks to your memory. I lost a lot of past memories (the good ones but kept the bad ones)
Happy to talk to you if it would help
 
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Star67

Member
Mar 12, 2026
27
Good luck, I
had ECT, a full course of bilateral which left me as what others described a zombie, not remembering conversations from minutes before then a full course of unilateral (suppose to not impact your memory as much) by the end I felt the best I'd ever felt (like since my depression started 20 years ago as a child). However, Its lasted only a couple of months max, very quickly tailing off and have been left with long term memory loss, mainly past memories (which I know I'll never get back) but I did have short term memory problems too which a year later still affects me but now minimally (but that took almost the whole year to get to this stage).
I'm in the uk and I felt like I wasn't fully informed of the short term memory problems I could experience. They make it very clear long term memories can be lost and won't be recovered but short term, they just say it will return to normal in 3 months and it certainly wasn't the case for myself or the other four people having ECT courses with me. So all id say is please just make sure you're fully informed of the risks to your memory. I lost a lot of past memories (the good ones but kept the bad ones)
Happy to talk to you if it would help
Thanks so much for this. I've already committed mentally to going through with ECT cause I figure what the hell, I'm suicidal anyway and was already planning to ctb. I had my first session this morning and made a post about it.
 
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letmegetout

‘People can be dead before they’ve even died’
Jan 23, 2023
165
Thanks so much for this. I've already committed mentally to going through with ECT cause I figure what the hell, I'm suicidal anyway and was already planning to ctb. I had my first session this morning and made a post about it.
I really hope you get the results you're hoping for 💙
 
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Quietist

Quietist

Lost Cause
Sep 6, 2024
272
This is really interesting.

I can't wait to hear the update on how it went.

Good luck. :heart:
 
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fadedghost

fadedghost

Found SaSu after reading BBC & watching YouTube
Dec 10, 2025
350
Thanks everyone for your input and well wishes. Unfortunately I have some anti-climactic news. I was third in line for my session, IV and all monitors ready to go when they cancelled further treatments for the day. Supposedly they had a "bad batch" of muscle relaxants and the first two patients had complications. My next appointment is likely next Wednesday and I'll keep you all updated.
DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!

THEY ARE LIARS!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE MEMORY LOSS IS ALMOST ALWAYS PERMANENT. DON'T! DON'T DAMAGE YOUR BRAIN!

THEY SUGGEST THIS TO THE MOST VULNERABLE PEOPLE WHO ARE AT THEIR LOWEST. IT KILLS BRAIN CELLS. THEY SAY "IT HELPS PATIENTS SEE OUTSIDE OF EGO" BUT YOU HAVE LESS OF AN EGO BECAUSE IT KILLS BRAIN CELLS.

DON'T! PLEASE! I DON'T KNOW IF I BELIEVE IN FATE, BUT IF I DID, YOU WERE LUCKY, IT DIDN'T HAPPEN THAT DAY BECAUSE OF FATE OR LUCK, PLEASE, PLEASE DON'T DO THIS TO YOURSELF

ECT IS THE NEW LOBOTOMY

BACK WHEN THEY DID LOBOTOMIES THEY SAID PATIENTS WERE A LITTLE BIT DIFFERENT, BUT OFTEN FELT BETTER AND THEY USED IT ON THE ABSOLUTE MOST VULNERABLE PEOPLE, PEOPLE SEVERELY DEPRESSED, SEVERELY TRAUMATIZED

DON'T! PLEASE DON'T!
 
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