Getting High

[amy joyce]

BEING REALLY HIGHT WHILE CTB.
I'm not sure yet anymore. I was planning to and going to continue researching after I found out if my son posted here (don't think so) but then I was told by a person I won't name who told me thinks I helped save his life by posting about my son's suicide jump which obviously devastated me. Now I'm re-thinking it. That said, I believe this desire will come in waves much like the fam
One thing I know is that I plan on being very high while if I do it. So today I got very high in my own way. Lots of Buprenorphine, Benzo's and muscle relaxers. I believe this will help me keep up my courage.

*I meant the courage while doing it. I planning on making up my mind while completely sober and I have since regressed in my thinking. From reading, in discussion and after deep thought about what it would do to my already devastated, pained family I am less inclined now. Someone learned from my story, what my son's loss has done to me. And I've been learning from discussion about how my loss could horrible hurt my husband and other son. I don't want them to suffer more

 

[Catchthebusnow]

BEING REALLY HIGHT WHILE CTB.
I'm not sure yet anymore. I was planning to and going to continue researching after I found out if my son posted here (don't think so) but then I was told by a person I won't name who told me thinks I helped save his life by posting about my son's suicide jump which obviously devastated me. Now I'm re-thinking it. That said, I believe this desire will come in waves much like the fam
One thing I know is that I plan on being very high while if I do it. So today I got very high in my own way. Lots of Buprenorphine, Benzo's and muscle relaxers. I believe this will help me keep up my courage.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

 

[wine is fine but]

thank you so much for listening to some of us here

by listening, i do not mean that you have to agree with everything we say and take our advice as gospel, but the fact that you have taken the time to read the posts and think about them is everything. what you do after that is entirely up to you

while it is our choice to do so, and the person we are addressing does not have to look at it, none of us like to bare our soul, and put ourselves into a darker place than necessary for nothing. therefore, when someone does take the time to read a heartfelt post, it is always appreciated, sometimes more than they could know




as for your question about sn in kayla's thread, it is sodium nitrite - not to be confused with sodium nitrate
if you take even just 4 grams of it, and do not get help, it is guaranteed to remove you from this planet - 1 gram has been known to work when somebody offsite accidently consumed that tiny amount
it is serious stuff, and should never be practiced with . . . ever


if you do feel you have to leave this world, please look over the methods threads, and make sure you do it right. having to tell your family why you chose to do it would be close to impossible, and a failed attempt can put you in a much worse place than you are now in. physical and mental injuries, a psyche ward are just some of the less than favourable outcomes

 

[Kanau_Nano]

Your great love for your family is beautiful. I wish you weren't going through so much. I'm very sad to hear about your son. I will always be wishing you well.

 

[amy joyce]

thank you so much for listening to some of us here

by listening, i do not mean that you have to agree with everything we say and take our advice as gospel, but the fact that you have taken the time to read the posts and think about them is everything. what you do after that is entirely up to you

while it is our choice to do so, and the person we are addressing does not have to look at it, none of us like to bare our soul, and put ourselves into a darker place than necessary for nothing. therefore, when someone does take the time to read a heartfelt post, it is always appreciated, sometimes more than they could know




as for your question about sn in kayla's thread, it is sodium nitrite - not to be confused with sodium nitrate
if you take even just 4 grams of it, and do not get help, it is guaranteed to remove you from this planet - 1 gram has been known to work when somebody offsite accidently consumed that tiny amount
it is serious stuff, and should never be practiced with . . . ever


if you do feel you have to leave this world, please look over the methods threads, and make sure you do it right. having to tell your family why you chose to do it would be close to impossible, and a failed attempt can put you in a much worse place than you are now in. physical and mental injuries, a psyche ward are just some of the less than favourable outcomes

This is life and death which is obvious a very serious matter. I wouldn't be here unless I planned on reading and researching. I told my therapist and another I found the website by looking for my son's choices, which isn't true. I couldn't do what he did..... I thought I read a post where someone took 7 SN and he was told that he was basically a puzzy for taking so little so it must be something else... Is SN something that can be purchased by a regular citizen? I thought of the Carbon Monoxide and that went bust after learning cars have changed too much. That led to burning charcoal in a closed room, and I thought my car would work for that in another location of course. Then I thought of OD with nicotine patches. Heck, maybe all three (coals, patches and SN if I can get it). Btw, I'm thinking of possible future now. I could change as my hormones do which is always a problem but my mind is clearer now regarding my family and some extended family too. I kind of think my friends would get it after what I've gone through and they don't have children, depression or a current illness that keeps them home bound.

OK I'm rambling again. Back to researching homes for my other project which was my dream for a long time, now a bust since Sean passed away. But I need something good to occupy my thoughts. I'm starting fresh with 5 acres and have had underground electric installed, a private septic system and soon a brand new well. Already my investment has doubled so for a rookie I'm doing something right. Cheers.

 

[wine is fine but]

I thought I read a post where someone took 7 SN and he was told that he was basically a puzzy for taking so little so it must be something else... Is SN something that can be purchased by a regular citizen? I thought of the Carbon Monoxide and that went bust after learning cars have changed too much. That led to burning charcoal in a closed room, and I thought my car would work for that in another location of course. Then I thought of OD with nicotine patches. Heck, maybe all three (coals, patches and SN if I can get it). Btw, I'm thinking of possible future now. I could change as my hormones do which is always a problem but my mind is clearer now regarding my family and some extended family too. I kind of think my friends would get it after what I've gone through and they don't have children, depression or a current illness that keeps them home bound

someone on here took 7 grams of sn and was dead for 20-25 minutes. they were brought back to life because they had medical intervention in time, but even then, it was a photo finish
for the most part, it can not be purchased by a regular citizen. it is generally used for curing meats, and giving mince steak it's nice reddish/brown colour. it is highly toxic in it's raw form. for the most part it is only really available from ukraine, and maybe the walls are closing in on him. either way, finding his website is a challenge. there are many clues on here, but it is still a challenge. it is not illegal to own in australia, and i would think anywhere in the world, but it is illegal to sell it someone without the appropriate permits to have it. sadly, while there is so much information about it on this forum, many people who have not used it seem to think they know better, so it was probably was 7 grams of sn that you read about

there is a wealth of information about many methods on here. i think most of them are in the suicide discussion forum. i do not want you (or anyone) to have to use any of the methods, but if you do, then i do not want you get it wrong. there is too much at stake and too many things can go wrong

OK I'm rambling again. Back to researching homes for my other project which was my dream for a long time, now a bust since Sean passed away. But I need something good to occupy my thoughts. I'm starting fresh with 5 acres and have had underground electric installed, a private septic system and soon a brand new well. Already my investment has doubled so for a rookie I'm doing something right. Cheers.

that is awesome. it is so easy to say, but we all need something to give our lives meaning, particularly when someone is depressed like you are. being able to occupy your mind will hopefully be great for you and give you some peace from the constant depression you have had over the last 9 months