Discussion Gen Z

[bobpork]

Anyone else in their early 20s who's unemployed, dropped out of university and don't know what to do with life?

 

[FoxSauce]

Not studying but working just did a year in college. But financial stuff is making it difficult. Yes I wanna keep studying

 

[death over slavery]

Currently unemployed and has plans to drop out of college

 

[pickpocket]

Anyone else in their early 20s who's unemployed, dropped out of university and don't know what to do with life?

oh my god yes. i'm 20, i was meant to start college in september but had a serious medical incident and became physically disabled. i have literally no friends and my (small) family hates me, resents me, they say it to my face

 

[neurotic]

It's more normal than people think. It's not like you weren't cut out for it or anything. A lot of life experience you have is still being affected by a person, your younger self, who had absolutely no control until around this time.

At these years, it's good to remind yourself that This is when it starts and you can start consciously building. Trauma, stupid decisions, and physical/mental problems you can now identify and medicate/cope towards are the first priority since you need a stable foundation to build on (Which might have been the reason it didn't work out in the first place, but the good thing is you're exactly where you should be in your life to figuring it out. Shame on those who didn't teach you or hurt you that stifled you up to this point!)

A lot of my friends who are getting into their late 20's are starting college again more confident and assured, or starting careers they truly wanted to get into, or others just completely stop using their college degree and pursue something blue collar. It's far from a perspective that you failed now and you'll deal with it for the rest of your life, that's just fear mongering to make you will something up into existence. So please don't fall for the self blame that so many people do in their early 20s, you're finally really You and you're just going to keep improving. Things slow down from this point on, which is a relief if you come from a very hard, fast life. It's not as urgent as you may think it right now. So take your time and figure out how you want to build a life for yourself, there truly isn't a rush.

 

[wishingonstars]

I dropped out of college a few years ago but have been working a job I enjoy. I'm even getting promoted but I can't focus or show up on time and I've already tried almost everything to get better. The only two things left (ketamine assisted therapy and a PTSD service dog) are both really expensive and feel out of reach. Being independent is important to me and I will never be able to get a service dog which I think would completely change my life if I can't keep this job but I am very stuck at this point. I see no point in going forward but I have to stick around for my family, friends, and elderly cat.

I know that's a bit different from your situation but it's just to say I get how difficult/impossible it can be to work and/or do school and how much it can hurt to see everyone else just doing it and pushing through and I wish I understood why I can't do the same. I also hate being given the same advice over and over by people who mean well but just don't get it. No one seems to have an answer for what to do when you've tried everything and it isn't enough.

 

[NormallyNeurotic]

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[l1ablemistakes]

I'm 22 and let me just say being employed and successful has not helped me

 

[violetforever]

Anyone else in their early 20s who's unemployed, dropped out of university and don't know what to do with life?

this was literally me from 2022 until the beginning of this year. now im back in school. idk what to say about it.

 

[negi-maguro]

I'm 24, while employed, It's not that different to being unemployed as I'm working in an NGO with no career ladder at all and low pay. I don't know what to do with my life either. Well, I do know what I want, but I don't have the courage, capital, and mental state to do it. Thinking of getting a master overseas but I keep failing scholarships. Even getting an letter of acceptance is really hard because it takes a huge mental toll every time I try to sign up for one (same goes with finding a new job). I'm drained 24/7. Sometimes I chant "Fighto! Fighto!" to keep myself going.

 

[eyenumbing]

im a college drop out with a job. its not the worst thing in the world, but i don't want to continue with this path. i want to hopefully go back to school and figure things out for myself.

 

[hiiiii]

i'm unemployed and graduated but with a horrible gpa from my mental breakdown... the degree is basically useless now and i can't go to grad school like i had originally planned. i don't know what to do with myself at this point. all i do is apply for jobs and cry and seethe

 

[nitrogenous]

Anyone else in their early 20s who's unemployed, dropped out of university and don't know what to do with life?

I'm in my early 20s, just got fired a couple days ago due to accusation of being manic (which wasn't true), and had been fired from another company a couple months earlier due to mental health reasons too. So, this is my second time being terminated because of my mental health. I withdrew from uni early last year, again because of my mental health and it makes me feel like a failure. I'm starting uni again tomorrow actually, but my advisor already thinks that I should drop down to part time as she doesn't think I am capable to study. I feel like dropping out this time not gonna lie, but perhaps I won't be able to do so as I think I would probably just ctb instead…

 

[Hvergelmir]

I will never be able to get a service dog

I just wanted to cut in, and ask if you truly need a certified service dog.
My dogs have been amazing without formal training. An untrained dog is very feasible to get, for most people. With time and persistence it could also become well trained, though formal certification might be out of reach.

 

[YourLocalSadGirly]

Me core. I'm so cooked I dropped out of university TWICE. I've only quit my job one time though lol. I know it's the recovery section but I've given up on recovery.

 

[leloyon]

Never had a job nor did I ever go to uni, high school failure. Otherwise yes.

 

[wishingonstars]

I just wanted to cut in, and ask if you truly need a certified service dog.
My dogs have been amazing without formal training. An untrained dog is very feasible to get, for most people. With time and persistence it could also become well trained, though formal certification might be out of reach.

Yeah I've done a lot of research and I do want a partner not a pet. I have a wonderful cat who without prompting or training will interrupt spirals and has saved my life by insisting attention and then providing pressure therapy, she is wonderful and I'm sure a pet dog would be too and be able to provide more too with training but I would benefit from an animal that could go everywhere with me without restriction as navigating daily life is difficult and my hyper vigilance drains me so I can't function properly. Plus service dogs can provide specific things that are hard to self train in a pet such as reliably waking me up from nightmares. I have good credit so I think I might be able to take out a loan in order for it to work out. It would take a while to describe why a certified service dog would be necessary rather than a ESA in my case but mostly just having a constant companion, I'm really messed up by my PTSD it effects every aspect of my life and traditional treatments aren't enough. I just want to be able to function properly and having a dog in my corner all the time who's job is making the world a little less scary sounds life changing.

 

[dontletthembribeyou]

I'm a student but have no real direction. Junior year and no portfolio or internships or nothing. Low GPA too. I've been unemployed for most of the past 3 years because of burnout/chronic pain but I just got a job again bc I need money, we'll see how that goes :/

 

[piger]

I'm 24, while employed, It's not that different to being unemployed as I'm working in an NGO with no career ladder at all and low pay. I don't know what to do with my life either. Well, I do know what I want, but I don't have the courage, capital, and mental state to do it. Thinking of getting a master overseas but I keep failing scholarships. Even getting an letter of acceptance is really hard because it takes a huge mental toll every time I try to sign up for one (same goes with finding a new job). I'm drained 24/7. Sometimes I chant "Fighto! Fighto!" to keep myself going.

i'm on the same situs to on, every time a deadline i don't make passes i'm like "oh well" and spiral further. It's really draining to even just look at that stuff, too.

 

[Cyc]

I'm 18 and the opposite, I work while studying. It gets really exhausting though and I'm tempted to drop out especially because I know once I start working full time it'll get worse

 

[Leonard_Bangley39]

i was suicidal when i was unemployed and now that i have a job i am still suicidal :P

i love working like a dog to make other people rich while i struggle to get by

 

[Kirke]

Anyone else in their early 20s who's unemployed, dropped out of university and don't know what to do with life?

I have a really close and beloved friend who's in that situation. Even worse, the friend dropped out of secondary school. I think in case of work it all depends on luck these days, sometimes embellishment.

 

[IrisGr3y_]

It's more normal than people think. It's not like you weren't cut out for it or anything. A lot of life experience you have is still being affected by a person, your younger self, who had absolutely no control until around this time.

At these years, it's good to remind yourself that This is when it starts and you can start consciously building. Trauma, stupid decisions, and physical/mental problems you can now identify and medicate/cope towards are the first priority since you need a stable foundation to build on (Which might have been the reason it didn't work out in the first place, but the good thing is you're exactly where you should be in your life to figuring it out. Shame on those who didn't teach you or hurt you that stifled you up to this point!)

A lot of my friends who are getting into their late 20's are starting college again more confident and assured, or starting careers they truly wanted to get into, or others just completely stop using their college degree and pursue something blue collar. It's far from a perspective that you failed now and you'll deal with it for the rest of your life, that's just fear mongering to make you will something up into existence. So please don't fall for the self blame that so many people do in their early 20s, you're finally really You and you're just going to keep improving. Things slow down from this point on, which is a relief if you come from a very hard, fast life. It's not as urgent as you may think it right now. So take your time and figure out how you want to build a life for yourself, there truly isn't a rush.

There was this question teachers and other adults used to ask often when I was growing up...

"What will you be when you grow up?"

Had good grades in elementary and middle school, never felt like an achievement. Felt like a complete fraud when praised for it, and I was proven right when I moved to a 'better' school after 8th grade. Public schools were easier.

Anyway, since very early, I had no answer to that question. Was often told it'd come with time, it never came. For some reason, none of the career choices seemed appealing or fitting, and around that time I started to get very demotivated.

English class was the only one I did effortlessly well at, even as my demotivated self.

Staying at home a lot probably did much damage. I've been noticing how maladapted I am, feeling behind in the sense that, I don't know how to navigate life to a detrimental extent.

So, when I graduated four years ago, I just did nothing. Going to college seemed unwise given all my uncertainty. Time later I started hearing of former classmates dropping out because they didn't like what they picked. Too anxious myself to get a job, until now that I feel I could, if it weren't for... other issues. Soul-crushing things I found out along the way.

I've also imagined, when I get to my late 20s I might have enough figured out, but I don't know. As of now, several things people do, seem alien to me.



This got a bit ramble-y, forgot what I sought with this; am falling asleep in my seat. Anyway, I don't expect someone to read that and solve the problem for me or whatever, just say if it's relatable or not. What do you make of it.

 

[pinkpinkmoon]

There was this question teachers and other adults used to ask often when I was growing up...

"What will you be when you grow up?"

Had good grades in elementary and middle school, never felt like an achievement. Felt like a complete fraud when praised for it, and I was proven right when I moved to a 'better' school after 8th grade. Public schools were easier.

Anyway, since very early, I had no answer to that question. Was often told it'd come with time, it never came. For some reason, none of the career choices seemed appealing or fitting, and around that time I started to get very demotivated.

English class was the only one I did effortlessly well at, even as my demotivated self.

Staying at home a lot probably did much damage. I've been noticing how maladapted I am, feeling behind in the sense that, I don't know how to navigate life to a detrimental extent.

So, when I graduated four years ago, I just did nothing. Going to college seemed unwise given all my uncertainty. Time later I started hearing of former classmates dropping out because they didn't like what they picked. Too anxious myself to get a job, until now that I feel I could, if it weren't for... other issues. Soul-crushing things I found out along the way.

I've also imagined, when I get to my late 20s I might have enough figured out, but I don't know. As of now, several things people do, seem alien to me.



This got a bit ramble-y, forgot what I sought with this; am falling asleep in my seat. Anyway, I don't expect someone to read that and solve the problem for me or whatever, just say if it's relatable or not. What do you make of it.

I'm 25 and related to this a lot. I never had any passions or hobbies throughout school. I got good grades but I was never able to answer anyone if they'd ask what I wanted to do in the future, or what I wanted to study in college. They'd just tell me I'd figure it out. I went to college as an undeclared major for a little bit but never graduated. Looking back, I wish I had just chosen something and stuck it out. I've spent years now working degrading minimum wage jobs, attempting online classes, never going out. I have no friends, no degree, and no aspirations. I'm not sure how anyone ever just figures it out. 25 is a weird age as well because it feels like I'm a real adult now, pushing 30, and I've literally made no progress since I graduated high school. I feel very behind as well. It was really hard seeing people I went to school with really "finding themselves" in college, making friends, etc. Everyone always told me college is where I would thrive and figure it out all, but I never did. Now they all have careers and life long friends and goals-- it's all so foreign to me. I'm sorry you feel this way too, it really sucks and I'm not sure how we're supposed to get out of it. It's hard!

 

[Vacuous]

There was this question teachers and other adults used to ask often when I was growing up...

"What will you be when you grow up?"

Had good grades in elementary and middle school, never felt like an achievement. Felt like a complete fraud when praised for it, and I was proven right when I moved to a 'better' school after 8th grade. Public schools were easier.

Anyway, since very early, I had no answer to that question. Was often told it'd come with time, it never came. For some reason, none of the career choices seemed appealing or fitting, and around that time I started to get very demotivated.

English class was the only one I did effortlessly well at, even as my demotivated self.

Staying at home a lot probably did much damage. I've been noticing how maladapted I am, feeling behind in the sense that, I don't know how to navigate life to a detrimental extent.

So, when I graduated four years ago, I just did nothing. Going to college seemed unwise given all my uncertainty. Time later I started hearing of former classmates dropping out because they didn't like what they picked. Too anxious myself to get a job, until now that I feel I could, if it weren't for... other issues. Soul-crushing things I found out along the way.

I've also imagined, when I get to my late 20s I might have enough figured out, but I don't know. As of now, several things people do, seem alien to me.



This got a bit ramble-y, forgot what I sought with this; am falling asleep in my seat. Anyway, I don't expect someone to read that and solve the problem for me or whatever, just say if it's relatable or not. What do you make of it.

As @neurotic said, there's no rush. This pressure we feel is largely imposed on us by society. We ought to look inwards not outwards. It's a highly toxic, capitalist way of framing things whereby these stages of life in which we aren't being "productive" are viewed as wasteful. Just by virtue of being alive, you're cultivating value. There's nothing wrong with you; you aren't a problem to solve. You are a reflection of your own personal experience just like "successful" people are of theirs. I reject the validity of questioning what we will become. It's an incoherent idea to me; the only thing we can do is nurture who we are.

 

[IrisGr3y_]

I'm 25 and related to this a lot. I never had any passions or hobbies throughout school. I got good grades but I was never able to answer anyone if they'd ask what I wanted to do in the future, or what I wanted to study in college. They'd just tell me I'd figure it out. I went to college as an undeclared major for a little bit but never graduated. Looking back, I wish I had just chosen something and stuck it out. I've spent years now working degrading minimum wage jobs, attempting online classes, never going out. I have no friends, no degree, and no aspirations. I'm not sure how anyone ever just figures it out. 25 is a weird age as well because it feels like I'm a real adult now, pushing 30, and I've literally made no progress since I graduated high school. I feel very behind as well. It was really hard seeing people I went to school with really "finding themselves" in college, making friends, etc. Everyone always told me college is where I would thrive and figure it out all, but I never did. Now they all have careers and life long friends and goals-- it's all so foreign to me. I'm sorry you feel this way too, it really sucks and I'm not sure how we're supposed to get out of it. It's hard!

It might unfortunately be like a tree growing crooked. It will never be symmetrical like others.

Sounds quite negative put that way, but I meant to emphasize things going wrong since the start, or too early for notice. It's not the best analogy for this, because I don't actually know if a crooked tree is necessarily worse and all that.

Looking back, in my case it was most likely that I often kept to myself, stayed at home more than I should have, and through that, I became more reclusive as time went on. Doesn't help I've had low-self esteem for as long as I remember. Not the "I hate myself" kind, it's more of a feeling. Like, a lot of things felt scary, or impossible to me. I feel insufficient, so I don't want the world to see me.

As a kid of course it wasn't this intense, super nuanced thing, I was mostly insecure about appearance, and that despite the good grades, I wasn't actually good at any of those subjects.

But you get where I'm going, that it's one of those things that hardly ever get rectified if they started off wrong.

I'm a little scatterbrained today. There were things I wanted to say that I've forgotten.

In general, I don't know how people get their drive, their know-how, ideas, or whatever, when it comes to jobs and college. I feel like they got a manual for reference while growing up, that I wasn't.

As @neurotic said, there's no rush. This pressure we feel is largely imposed on us by society. We ought to look inwards not outwards. It's a highly toxic, capitalist way of framing things whereby these stages of life in which we aren't being "productive" are viewed as wasteful. Just by virtue of being alive, you're cultivating value. There's nothing wrong with you; you aren't a problem to solve. You are a reflection of your own personal experience just like "successful" people are of theirs. I reject the validity of questioning what we will become. It's an incoherent idea to me; the only thing we can do is nurture who we are.

The thing is, more than being a "successful" individual who is a high earner or whatever, it's... not being some "apt specimen", as weird as that might sound.


I feel like some important traits are missing in me, physical and... psychological (?).


Despite, you know, being here, I'm mostly alright with myself as in, that I don't hate myself for not meeting standards decided by nature and its cycles, much less not being "productive" to society, but uh, yeah, doesn't feel nice either. Mostly the former