Bitterman1996
Student
- May 20, 2020
- 170
I try and initiate most of the voice calls and interactions online. I feel bit exhausted, trying to find other people to speak with because i got lonely a bit while i work on drawing. But since it's mostly online I ended up meeting people that's several younger than me with seemingly bright future makes me kinda want to die lol.
Idk how to balance it, even when I open my public account, I feel it's hard to breathe and connect with other people. Feeling really low because of this. I feel like everything I am trying to do to be worthless.
I just wanted to vent somewhere, I ve been trying to get better but as someone that's being "held back" in life (no proper job/income until recently, mediocre skills, bad time management etc etc). it sucks that even to this day I never felt being cared for emotionally. Sure I still have my parents to some degree, and i am still grateful but it's conditional. My parents wanted me to be a certain way (religious & maybe with a proper job/normal career and interest).
It just feel bad. since this one person.
This one person was someone I knew from childhood. but they went away to be best friends with my old friend. In that sense I was left behind, it always feel awkward. But I think I could be open to this person. It's just that it ended up like this and I don't think I can blame them either since they are also depressed.
I just feel bit sad. honestly this kind of thing probably is why I am prone to isolating myself.
I havent feel this suicidal in quite a while, I don't want to but I just feel depressed. I just want someone to understand.
Idk how to balance it, even when I open my public account, I feel it's hard to breathe and connect with other people. Feeling really low because of this. I feel like everything I am trying to do to be worthless.
I just wanted to vent somewhere, I ve been trying to get better but as someone that's being "held back" in life (no proper job/income until recently, mediocre skills, bad time management etc etc). it sucks that even to this day I never felt being cared for emotionally. Sure I still have my parents to some degree, and i am still grateful but it's conditional. My parents wanted me to be a certain way (religious & maybe with a proper job/normal career and interest).
It just feel bad. since this one person.
This one person was someone I knew from childhood. but they went away to be best friends with my old friend. In that sense I was left behind, it always feel awkward. But I think I could be open to this person. It's just that it ended up like this and I don't think I can blame them either since they are also depressed.
I just feel bit sad. honestly this kind of thing probably is why I am prone to isolating myself.
I havent feel this suicidal in quite a while, I don't want to but I just feel depressed. I just want someone to understand.
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