For those who survived a suicide attempt: what were your thoughts in that moment, and did you feel regret?

[tomatriste]

Can you pm me because I can't pm you ?

i can't private message you either, do you have whatsapp or telegram?

 

[CGN83]

In my case, I took an OD of a substance I won't name but it was a strong prescription medication which I had stockpiled. I knew I wanted to take the overdose and I didn't need to think twice. Around 15 minutes after ingestion my heart started to race and I was in and out of consciousness up by a quiet walkway where there were very few people around.

Despite knowing I didn't want to live, in the moment it's also quite terrifying knowing or at least in my case, thinking, I was about to die.

A passer by found me and called for an ambulance and I was taken to the hospital. I could not walk and I couldn't speak as the medication shut down my central nervous system. I blacked out in the ambulance and woke up in a recovery ward the following morning. A psychiatrist assessed me and told me to go home. I don't regret doing it, but each time I was made to feel like an idiot by mental health professionals.

I've tried this method three times in total, taking higher doses each time, but always had the same result so I gave up trying that way.

 

[madameviolette]

i can't private message you either, do you have whatsapp or telegram?

I answered with my real mail

 

[soul2realm]

It was so hard to try the first time, it took nearly four hours sitting in that chair trying to gain strength to pull the exit bag over my face and when I finally did it, even after 12 seconds nothing happened. I removed it and just been hoping to try again. Why am I not able to? I mean it's right there in my bedroom staring at me. How you do it the second and praying to be the final time?

 

[OzymandiAsh]

I tried hanging myself a few years ago. I stopped cause it hurt, and I didn't know what I was doing. I was a noob at hanging, I didn't do any research beforehand and I didn't even know about this site back then. I just kinda did it on instinct. My neck hurt a ton, it was in a tightened and squeezed state for like two weeks. It hurt to eat or drink anything. I remember laying on my bed those weeks and thinking, "wow, I can't believe I did that." It feels so silly to think about it now, since I know the proper way to hang.

What did you get wrong, and would do differently?

 

[Unlucky777]

I was angry when I woke up, felt horrible for failure. My only regret is I didn't take enough for it to be lethal. It was a shot in the dark. Next attempt will have to be more calculated

 

[EmptyBottle]

Some disappointment that the method didn't work (and was taking longer than expected), and realisation that all the steps were likely needed.

 

[Lost Impact]

no regrets, I just felt stupid afterwards. i never regretted my attempts, I just felt embarrassed for failing.

 

[LunarLynx]

It felt so good. Not to fail but the sensation. I really seek for high dose of risk, stress of dying and adrenaline. (Context : drove 90km/h into a cliff and made a few (between 5 and 8) roll)

And It was the closest I was to die, I was upside down in the car and started laughing, I couldn't stop for at least 10 minutes.

Easily the best 10 minutes of my life

 

[thefarter]

when i woke up in hospital i was like oh crap im alive. and i was like oh no my family must know now. and i was confused a bit. and my throat hurt because of the tube shoved down it. i regretted not drinking more sodium nitrite

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

when i woke up in hospital i was like oh crap im alive. and i was like oh no my family must know now. and i was confused a bit. and my throat hurt because of the tube shoved down it. i regretted not drinking more sodium nitrite

Damn. Sorry to hear. How much did you drink?

 

[Jisatsu]

When I attempt I don't think I just do , I dont hold regret for my attempts I only regret that I survived them.

 

[elenaboo25]

I tried to drown myself in a river at age 16. I got pulled under water by the current, hit a stone under water and suddenly it was as if somebody had flipped a switch in my brain and I didn't want to die anymore. I managed to swim and get out of the river by myself. Initially, I was relieved that I survived, but now I wish I had succeeded, as it is now many years later and I still want to ctb but it has become harder to do.

 

[Arvayn]

I starved myself until I went into shock of various kinds and my body started to fail. I lived alone at the time, so nobody would save me. I woke up in a puddle of my own sweat and piss and decided to say goodbyes while I still had that window of consciousness; my partner convinced me to call an ambulance, appealing to the emotion I felt for them. So, I did...

I did not feel any regret over the attempt, though I did not feel regret over failing, either. My thoughts on it were just... 'Whatever'. It came out of existential depression.

 

[thefarter]

Damn. Sorry to hear. How much did you drink?

ummmm i think i mixed like 1 teaspoon with 400ml of water? and i was just drinking it. probably had like 200ml of the mixture

 

[InevitableDeath]

I only felt regret in failing. No fear as I went. No "Wait! Stop!" I wasn't sad. I felt excited. I felt relieved to be free.

I only felt regret waking up. And misery. Every time, my life got worse. I'm going to be very careful for my final exit. No mistakes.

this is the only answer

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

ummmm i think i mixed like 1 teaspoon with 400ml of water? and i was just drinking it. probably had like 200ml of the mixture

Ok, it looks like that would work if you only weighed about 20 lbs. But I'm sure it's not easy to get down.

 

[jamesies]

i felt nothing. i had a horrible stressful night, laid down to sleep for work and saw the bottle on my nightstand. i opened it and poured pills into my mouth, spat them out, then tried again and actually swallowed, and i felt nothing. i legitimately dont think i had a thought at all. i think after i swallowed i had an "theres no going back now" kinda thought and then i went to sleep peacefully

 

[FaultyCepheus]

My first attempt i think i was 13? Tried to od with a bunch of random shit obviously knew nothing about it and woke up in my sick and went to school. Definitely messed with me for a while i don't remember much about regret i just remember being in school crying just wishing it had worked

 

[Unlucky777]

my only regret is not buying 25 or more Visine bottles my last attempt. not sure if that would have done the trick but i must finish what I started. The job is still incomplete...