BeansOfRequirement
Man-child, loser, autistic, etc.
- Jan 26, 2021
- 5,831
Late 20s, never been on a date. Autistic man-child, virgin, no friends, my job is probably less attractive than if I was unemployed (I have dreams/plans, but the current situation and maybe months or even years ahead look like I'll be in the same spot), I live with mommy and daddy, not a lot of cash (basically some spending money, homeless without parental support), severe psychological problems, and I think I'm actually a narcissist, or at least leaning heavily in that direction, depressed as fuck, crying and rage attacks, not sure if I can have penetrative sex with my dick (plan is to buy her a vibrator and whatever, and do mouth/hand stuff on her if it comes to that).
So, been doing online dating for a very short while again. I'm apparently somewhere around 9/10 in optimal lighting and angle, lost like 30 lbs of mostly fat and have been doing some strength training for a while, am fairly tall but not the optimal height of 6'6 or whatever, so, I can fortunately (?) get some superficial/first glance attention from pretty cute ladies (a few of them look so good I get fully erect, sleep problems, and have my mouth open almost drooling at their pictures). As long as I don't mention anything about me that is of substance in any profiles, they seem okay with sending one or two short I-have-1000-guys-in-my-inbox-which-one-are-you-again messages.
So, first I managed to fuck up virtually every single match by being "honest" (i.e basically crashing out and giving some of the information above right away, not the sexual stuff obviously). I asked for feedback from one of the girls, a smart/kind person that I would love to get like non-sexual dates with and just hang out. She said "she"/women in general didn't care about profession, and didn't want to even speak for her own preference but tried to imply stuff with like "many women want" and "people may prefer", but the gist of it was that she didn't want to go on a date (and she wasn't looking for friendship, either, which I'm fine with as I just want to hang out with a woman anyway, and maybe she'll introduce me to some of her friends later or whatever, or start liking my personality somehow, get some social circle going and stuff). Her reason being basically that I wasn't confident, IIRC I was writing long ass messages whining about getting rejected or whatever, basically no filter. I guess my thinking is that if I do that and they still want to date, I'll basically be set up since she'll probably be attracted to me physically and not need me to have my shit together in any timely fashion. There's not much I can do to deter them if they know all of that and still want to date. If I instead do the strategy I did just now, it's more of an uncertain path forward, involving using more energy and money:
Advice she gave was to be brief and assume the girl already wants to go on a date, which actually makes sense (to some extent, or generally) if she likes my appearance and whatever humor I can show off in the few messages leading to the date. So, that's what I did on the next opportunity. Short, flirty messages, emojis, jokes, and straight up just didn't answer the job question when she asked. I'm not going to lie to anyone, and if it's an important deal breaker I guess she'd probably have repeated the question? Maybe..? I'll bring cash to the date so if she feels scammed I can compensate her a bit.
I was also in contact with a possibly alcoholic woman who seems to not give a fuck about job/status/etc, we're currently on some sort of rickety track to maybe become friends at some point, I don't exactly think my friendship is at the top of anyone's list. She basically feels sorry for me and wants to help me out, is how I'm interpreting it. It would be cool if she was tsundering the fuck out of me, but there's no good evidence of that (because of my extreme desperation I tend to interpret everything as they being interested in me, there are two things but not at all good evidence: I did something quirky and she wrote "I like that kind of guy" or something, and she also said she "wanted" ("I'm down to" or whatever) to meet right after she asked me if I was a virgin). I am more than happy to be friends with her since I think we're both fairly relaxed about the whole societal norms and standards. But still, she apparently was mixing me up with other guys since she has so many matches that several guys have the same fucking name (this shit is fucked up) and said we all looked alike (so no bonus for appearance).
Not sure if anyone reading this will remember me on here, and I understand this may be of little interest, but I was a frequent poster several years ago when I was more immature and basically a horrible person. I have now developed empathy and stuff and done like a 180 on my internal development, but the external stuff is still in the same place, basically. So, guess I'm setting y'all up to find out what happens after the date, providing she doesn't ask about my job beforehand or I give in to the temptation of sending her a crashout message, in all likelihood preventing the date from happening.
Hope you're all doing fine this week, if you're struggling I have a meditation megathread I welcome you to check out. The why and how are all in there. I've been taking this year off to do more stupid dating and getting rid of porn addiction stuff, some working, and just being stupid and lazy unfortunately.
So, been doing online dating for a very short while again. I'm apparently somewhere around 9/10 in optimal lighting and angle, lost like 30 lbs of mostly fat and have been doing some strength training for a while, am fairly tall but not the optimal height of 6'6 or whatever, so, I can fortunately (?) get some superficial/first glance attention from pretty cute ladies (a few of them look so good I get fully erect, sleep problems, and have my mouth open almost drooling at their pictures). As long as I don't mention anything about me that is of substance in any profiles, they seem okay with sending one or two short I-have-1000-guys-in-my-inbox-which-one-are-you-again messages.
So, first I managed to fuck up virtually every single match by being "honest" (i.e basically crashing out and giving some of the information above right away, not the sexual stuff obviously). I asked for feedback from one of the girls, a smart/kind person that I would love to get like non-sexual dates with and just hang out. She said "she"/women in general didn't care about profession, and didn't want to even speak for her own preference but tried to imply stuff with like "many women want" and "people may prefer", but the gist of it was that she didn't want to go on a date (and she wasn't looking for friendship, either, which I'm fine with as I just want to hang out with a woman anyway, and maybe she'll introduce me to some of her friends later or whatever, or start liking my personality somehow, get some social circle going and stuff). Her reason being basically that I wasn't confident, IIRC I was writing long ass messages whining about getting rejected or whatever, basically no filter. I guess my thinking is that if I do that and they still want to date, I'll basically be set up since she'll probably be attracted to me physically and not need me to have my shit together in any timely fashion. There's not much I can do to deter them if they know all of that and still want to date. If I instead do the strategy I did just now, it's more of an uncertain path forward, involving using more energy and money:
Advice she gave was to be brief and assume the girl already wants to go on a date, which actually makes sense (to some extent, or generally) if she likes my appearance and whatever humor I can show off in the few messages leading to the date. So, that's what I did on the next opportunity. Short, flirty messages, emojis, jokes, and straight up just didn't answer the job question when she asked. I'm not going to lie to anyone, and if it's an important deal breaker I guess she'd probably have repeated the question? Maybe..? I'll bring cash to the date so if she feels scammed I can compensate her a bit.
I was also in contact with a possibly alcoholic woman who seems to not give a fuck about job/status/etc, we're currently on some sort of rickety track to maybe become friends at some point, I don't exactly think my friendship is at the top of anyone's list. She basically feels sorry for me and wants to help me out, is how I'm interpreting it. It would be cool if she was tsundering the fuck out of me, but there's no good evidence of that (because of my extreme desperation I tend to interpret everything as they being interested in me, there are two things but not at all good evidence: I did something quirky and she wrote "I like that kind of guy" or something, and she also said she "wanted" ("I'm down to" or whatever) to meet right after she asked me if I was a virgin). I am more than happy to be friends with her since I think we're both fairly relaxed about the whole societal norms and standards. But still, she apparently was mixing me up with other guys since she has so many matches that several guys have the same fucking name (this shit is fucked up) and said we all looked alike (so no bonus for appearance).
Not sure if anyone reading this will remember me on here, and I understand this may be of little interest, but I was a frequent poster several years ago when I was more immature and basically a horrible person. I have now developed empathy and stuff and done like a 180 on my internal development, but the external stuff is still in the same place, basically. So, guess I'm setting y'all up to find out what happens after the date, providing she doesn't ask about my job beforehand or I give in to the temptation of sending her a crashout message, in all likelihood preventing the date from happening.
Hope you're all doing fine this week, if you're struggling I have a meditation megathread I welcome you to check out. The why and how are all in there. I've been taking this year off to do more stupid dating and getting rid of porn addiction stuff, some working, and just being stupid and lazy unfortunately.
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