final thoughts?

[cyanidekitty]

this is my first post here but im wondering…does anyone else wonder what peoples final thoughts are?
final thoughts being up until that very last second whether its them pulling a trigger or its them jumping over a ledge— i rlly wonder & i wonder if anyone else does.
i was reading littlecutecorpse's last final post & it really had me thinking when they said "i'm gonna get up the ladder and wrap the noose around my neck now."


rip to them tho, they seemed like such a sweet soul

 

[kitty.iceFS]

off topic but i absolutely love your username ..sorry..i just had to say it..

 

[cyanidekitty]

haha thank you <3

 

[SufferingDev]

Sadly I did not ever had a last thought - but I wonder what could it be - knowing me it would go from random end the pain to something poetic.

 

[Jello Biafra]

Since I do not personally fear death, and have never made an attempt (I have to be a one and done), I imagine my biggest concern will be 'please don't let me wake up in a hospital' or something of that nature.

 

[Dreamwalker]

I've thought about this a lot too. The one I always land on is... nothing? Like I feel like you have to be in a type of flow to really ctb

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

Since I do not personally fear death, and have never made an attempt (I have to be a one and done), I imagine my biggest concern will be 'please don't let me wake up in a hospital' or something of that nature.

Same, that's my worst nightmare.

 

[eggsausagerice]

my last thought will probably be of my best friend i'm leaving behind if i die. i'll have to schedule a suicide note to him so he knows that i'm dead, since he moved away, but he's smart enough to know i'm dead if i don't text back for 3 weeks since i'm addicted to using my phone. it's very cheesy, but i care about him very much even if i think that i'm burdening him by keeping him in my life even though i'm going to ctb soon.

off topic but i absolutely love your username

agreed. i read the username and i was like "that's gas" but i remembered this was a suicide thread lol

 

[FuneralCry]

My final thought would be that I'd be so glad to finally be free from this torturous, dreadful existence that only ever caused me to suffer, all I want is the peace of non-existence, I just want to be free from this horrific reality where there is all this endless suffering and torture. Only being permanently unconscious could ever be positive for me, I just want to erase this terrible, dreadful existence that just causes all this harm and suffering with no limit as to how much one can be tortured, to suffer in this existence is always an abomination to me.

 

[Deepdense]

It's likely something incoherent and unorganized. Other than that I guess it depends on the person and their state of mind.

 

[cyanidekitty]

Since I do not personally fear death, and have never made an attempt (I have to be a one and done), I imagine my biggest concern will be 'please don't let me wake up in a hospital' or something of that nature.

i understand you cuz i heard survivors guilt is quite the burden

 

[Forveleth]

Before I lost consciousness in my first attempt I thought "Here we go." Second attempt did not really think anything as I was concentrating on just continuing to breathe during partial.

 

[cyanidekitty]

my last thought will probably be of my best friend i'm leaving behind if i die. i'll have to schedule a suicide note to him so he knows that i'm dead, since he moved away, but he's smart enough to know i'm dead if i don't text back for 3 weeks since i'm addicted to using my phone. it's very cheesy, but i care about him very much even if i think that i'm burdening him by keeping him in my life even though i'm going to ctb soon.


agreed. i read the username and i was like "that's gas" but i remembered this was a suicide thread lol

thank yaa :3 this community is actually pretty sweet & compassionate despite how i fjrst found out about the site

also its not cheesy at all & im glad you have someone that you love platonically & that loves you the same. & im sure if he knows what you've been thru or even half of it to make u want to ctb then im sure he'd find atleast some sort if peace in knowing ur finally free <33

Before I lost consciousness in my first attempt I thought "Here we go." Second attempt did not really think anything as I was concentrating on just continuing to breathe during partial.

i could imagine others thinking that as well like "this is really it" stuff like that.

My final thought would be that I'd be so glad to finally be free from this torturous, dreadful existence that only ever caused me to suffer, all I want is the peace of non-existence, I just want to be free from this horrific reality where there is all this endless suffering and torture. Only being permanently unconscious could ever be positive for me, I just want to erase this terrible, dreadful existence that just causes all this harm and suffering with no limit as to how much one can be tortured, to suffer in this existence is always an abomination to me.

im sorry and i hear & notice you. even if its just through a website <33

 

[dewasrite]

I was in a car accident about 15 years ago and I remember shielding my head with my arms and thinking, "oh my god I am in so much trouble when my husband finds out I totaled the car". I feel like that would be a shitty last thought.

 

[cyanidekitty]

I was in a car accident about 15 years ago and I remember shielding my head with my arms and thinking, "oh my god I am in so much trouble when my husband finds out I totaled the car". I feel like that would be a shitty last thought.

idk if i should think that its sweet u thought of ur husband first orrr. in the end was he mad tho?? id hope he was happy you were okay

 

[dewasrite]

idk if i should think that its sweet u thought of ur husband first orrr. in the end was he mad tho?? id hope he was happy you were okay

Hahaha- I would like to think I thought of him because I was about to die, but really I was scared of his reaction (him… actually). The whole thing was like something out of a movie because it all happened in front of me- a bus quickly changed lanes to avoid a slow moving vehicle in front of it, lost control and hit the car in the next lane, then 2 other cars somehow got in the mix. It all happened so fast that I just jammed on the brakes as hard as I could and took my hands off the wheel to cover my head. I thought I was going to hit the pile of cars and bus but instead just ended up facing the wrong way on the shoulder of the thruway, not a scratch on me or the car. I was too afraid to tell him. He still doesn't know.

 

[cyanidekitty]

Hahaha- I would like to think I thought of him because I was about to die, but really I was scared of his reaction (him… actually). The whole thing was like something out of a movie because it all happened in front of me- a bus quickly changed lanes to avoid a slow moving vehicle in front of it, lost control and hit the car in the next lane, then 2 other cars somehow got in the mix. It all happened so fast that I just jammed on the brakes as hard as I could and took my hands off the wheel to cover my head. I thought I was going to hit the pile of cars and bus but instead just ended up facing the wrong way on the shoulder of the thruway, not a scratch on me or the car. I was too afraid to tell him. He still doesn't know.

wow! sorry you have/had to be afraid of your husband, thats unfair. but i am glad you and your car were okay!!