Fetishizing my own self-harm

[woofwag]

Tw for sh, obviously

Idk why, but I can't seem to stop taking pride in my sh. Or maybe like… fascination? Appreciation? To me, it's still not that bad although ik people say otherwise. But I want them to say otherwise MORE. I want them to think "oh shit," just from looking at healed scars, I want people to say "you know you could've died from that," I want people to think how fucked up in the head I must be to have done that.

I take satisfaction in showing people pictures of the fresh shit. I only do it if they're really sure they want to see, and I don't think I'd ever do that to someone else who sh's because I wouldn't want to encourage them in any way. But when they get that concerned look on their face, it's like fucking heroin.

I have also involved it in sexual interactions, although not nearly as much as I'd like to. Mostly just showing them and one person licked the scar which I found very hot.

Does anyone else do this? I feel guilty for feeling these ways but it's not like I can control that.

 

[fantamaxxer]

Noo don't harm yourself do you even know how deadly that is try talking about your problems w a therapist but self harm isn't the way

Spoiler: Question

did I make you cum

 

[PanaxMan]

Tw for sh, obviously

Idk why, but I can't seem to stop taking pride in my sh. Or maybe like… fascination? Appreciation? To me, it's still not that bad although ik people say otherwise. But I want them to say otherwise MORE. I want them to think "oh shit," just from looking at healed scars, I want people to say "you know you could've died from that," I want people to think how fucked up in the head I must be to have done that.

I take satisfaction in showing people pictures of the fresh shit. I only do it if they're really sure they want to see, and I don't think I'd ever do that to someone else who sh's because I wouldn't want to encourage them in any way. But when they get that concerned look on their face, it's like fucking heroin.

I have also involved it in sexual interactions, although not nearly as much as I'd like to. Mostly just showing them and one person licked the scar which I found very hot.

Does anyone else do this? I feel guilty for feeling these ways but it's not like I can control that.

Is this masochistic behavior?