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F

Faustus

Member
Mar 25, 2019
13
Among the other things, I'm bipolar, so from time to time suicidal thoughts just disappear... When this happens, I feel sad, because I know that for some time (maybe weeks sometimes) I'll not be able to CTB, but rationally I'm aware that it's the only right thing to do.
Does that ever happen to you?
 
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I'm a failure. An absolute waste. A LOSEr.
Apr 6, 2021
652
I don't think I'm bipolar, and I don't feel exactly the same way as you, but I do hate things that bring me pleasure. I hate feeling any type of pleasure because the fall back into misery is.. It's horrible. I don't know how, but my body reacts negatively to pleasurable things. I guess it's what happens when you haven't felt happy since.. Forever. If I think about food, or comedy, or sleeping or sex, I feel physically ill. It's tiring to live in limbo like this. I get bloody jealous when people, even here, say that they can enjoy things. How lucky they are..
 
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