Venting Feeling like ive never been in control of my life

[Party Poison]

I have never been in control with my life. All ive been allowed to was suffering, i had to shut up and wait. Everytime i tried to stand up for myself things got worse and i regretted it. People always said people like me should seek help. Thats what i did. I told many adults, and friends about my situation. No one actually helped me. Probably because it wasnt worth it. They all told me to wait until things got better. They never got better. Im a spectator of my own life and I cant do anything about it. I am powerless. I feel like im playing a game that i cant win. Im just getting punished, over and over again. This feeling of having no power is whats crushing me. Id do anything just to feel like im in control, including self harm, and including suicide.

 

[Good4Nothing]

I know how you feel. It seems every time I try to fight life and take back my power, life punches me back down into the dirt, then kicks me when I'm down.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

I hate control tbh. I feel like the biggest problem in my life is me and my inability to make decisions. Control just feels like opportunities for me to damage myself further.