GASLIGHTER7000
august
- May 1, 2025
- 12
im 18 and i was meant to start university last semester for a bachelors of commerce. i started it, but ended up dropping it in a week and deciding to take a semester off. it was really disappointing for my parents, because they had high expectations for me. they viewed the career path i planned to go down (i wanted to become an accountant) as prestigious and were very happy for me. but they understood i was depressed and suicidal so they were very lenient. i came back to university this semester doing open studies. and had applied to do a bachelors of education... i wanted to become a teacher..but i didn't get in. i managed to get into a smaller university in my area doing a bachelors of early childhood education, but i had a chance to get into education if i could keep my grades up in open studies. but i haven't been doing as good as i wished. i keep getting poor grades, and will probably be unable to get into education this year. i'm really disappointed in myself, i know i still have a future in education if i work hard enough but i lack so much discipline. i'm really lazy, i have finals next week and i still havent started studying. i feel like a failure. i dont have friends, a job, i feel like i have nothing going for me. i hate myself for thinking this way because i know im probably more privileged than some other people, whom are in harder situations... but i still cant stop feeling sorry for myself and just bedrotting. i really hate myself
